11 segnali di allarme che indicano che il vostro ex sta mettendo vostro figlio contro di voi

I divorzi fanno schifo, ma stare con un partner tossico fa ancora più schifo.

Dobbiamo ringraziare Dio di vivere in tempi in cui lasciare relazioni e matrimoni che non ci servono più è una cosa comune, anche se rimane una domanda: Cosa succede quando c'è un bambino bloccato nel mezzo?

Are you afraid that your toxic, vengeful ex might be trying to damage the amazing relationship you have with your kid? This article will clear any doubts because here you’ll find the most surefire signs your ex is turning your child against you.

1. Parlare male

Avete sentito che il vostro ex ha parlato male di voi davanti a vostro figlio? You can’t understand it because you have never said anything bad about them in front of your kid and never would.

Because you want your kid to have a good relationship with the other parent, you don’t want to turn your kid against them, which is specifically what your ex is trying to do by parlare male e parlare male di te davanti a tuo figlio.

2. Il lavaggio del cervello

The alienating parent will try to brainwash the kid in order to turn them against the other parent. It’s a way they think they’ll get their revenge on their ex-partner.

Whenever your kid starts talking about the good memories they have with you or about something nice you’ve done for them, your ex will immediately stop them and say something bad about you.

They’ll do anything to change the picture of an amazing, loving parent your kid has of you in their head.

If you notice your alienated child is being brainwashed and do absolutely nothing about it, it won’t take too long for your ex to succeed in their intention: to turn your kid against you.

3. Spostamento delle colpe

Si tratta di un fenomeno molto comune nelle coppie divorziate ad alto conflitto. They weren’t ready to take responsibility for their wrongdoings while they were married, which eventually led to their divorce, and that’s why they started Spostamento della colpa l'uno sull'altro.

However, if you aren’t doing it and your ex-spouse does, if your kid also starts blaming you for the divorce, you should know that you’re dealing with an alienated child.

Your ex isn’t choosing methods to get their revenge anymore. Their only goal has become to turn your kid against you, and they’ll use every weapon at their disposal to achieve it.

4. Accuse false

Has your kid started asking you about your marriage? Perhaps they asked you whether it’s true that you cheated on their dad/mom and you got divorced because of it?

If those kinds of questions start appearing, don’t be surprised. Il vostro ex inizierà a formulare false accuse su questioni verbali, fisiche o di abuso sessuale o la vostra infedeltà, il tutto con l'obiettivo di far sì che vostro figlio vi incolpi e vi odi per la fine del vostro matrimonio.

5. Limitare la comunicazione

Il vostro ex coniuge take your kid’s phone away? Did they delete all of their social media conti? Le hanno offerto qualche spiegazione sul perché di questa scelta?

If there is no legit reason for restricting your kid that way, it’s a huge red flag they’re trying to alienate them. They don’t want them to communicate with you, and they’re trying to block every way they can get in touch with you.

6. Annullamento del tempo di genitorialità

If your ex-spouse won the custody agreement, they’ll try to use it to limit your parenting time. Remember, their only goal is to harm the connection you have with your kid.

Co-genitorialità is hard, and the only way it’ll be successful is if both sides are ready to make compromises and agree.

Se l'ex coniuge inizia a usare scuse stupide e a cancellare il tempo dedicato alla genitorialità, è necessario porvi immediatamente fine. Il vostro partner deve rispettare l'accordo di custodia dei figli; in caso contrario, potete rivolgervi a un avvocato per modificare l'ordine di custodia.

7. Impedisce al figlio di fare visita a voi e ai vostri familiari

If your kid starts avoiding visiting you or your extended family, it’s a huge sign they’re a victim of parental alienation. It probably isn’t their own choice. They’re avoiding it because your ex is making them avoid you and your part of the family.

It’s simply because they’re trying to cut off every form of communication and connection between you and your kid. They don’t want you to figure out what they’re trying to do, and they’ll keep forbidding your kid from seeing you.

8. Punizione emotiva

Every time your kid goes deaf on their “commands” or your ex finds out they were talking tp you or doing something they forbade them from doing, they’ll punish your kid.

They’ll use emotional punishments and blackmailing because they know they work best on children.

They’ll tell your kid how they’re breaking their heart piece by piece every time they talk to you or see you. Those emotional punishments will seriously start impacting your kids’ mental health.

Correlato: 8 segni che sei stato trascurato emotivamente da bambino (e come ti influenza ora)

9. Chiedere sempre di scegliere da che parte stare

Vostro figlio si è lamentato del fatto che l'altro genitore gli chiede sempre di scegliere da che parte stare tra voi e lui? O forse qualcuno vicino a vostro figlio ve lo ha confessato?

If it’s true, you need to consider it as a warning sign your ex is turning your kid against you. Indipendentemente dalle circostanze, vostro figlio non potrà mai scegliere da che parte stare tra voi e il vostro ex partner, perché il suo cuore appartiene a entrambi, allo stesso modo.

10. Comprare il loro amore

If your ex-spouse has easily agreed on all child support matters, if they always buy your kid whatever they wish for, if they shower them with expensive gifts every day, you should know that they’re trying to buy their love.

This is especially true if they’re in a better financial situation than you are. They’re trying to buy their love by affording them everything you aren’t able to.

Fortunately, it’s never a way to get someone to love you, and kids never fall for such cheap tricks. Truth be told, children aren’t as naive as many people usually think.

11. Abuso verbale o fisico

Quando tutti questi metodi falliscono, il genitore alienante inizia a usare metodi fisici o abuso verbale per far sì che il figlio prenda le distanze dall'altro genitore.

That’s why you need to have regular, open, and honest communication with your kid. Se si confidano con voi o se vi accorgete che vostro figlio viene maltrattato, dovete intervenire il prima possibile.

I know you don’t like to meddle in the relationship your kid has with their other parent, but you shouldn’t allow anyone to ever hurt your child in any way, even if it’s your ex-spouse, their parent.

Che cosa fare se il vostro ex sta cercando di mettere i vostri figli contro di voi?

Being a child of divorced parents is hard enough even without these kinds of toxic games vengeful partners might be playing with each other. If you’re sure now that your ex has parental alienation syndrome (PAS), you need to deal with it and protect your child at any cost.

Prima di tutto, è necessario parlare con il proprio ex e cercare di costruire un rapporto di fiducia con lui. a relazione sana tra di voi. Il vostro matrimonio è finito, ma dovreste cercare di rimanere amici per il bene dei vostri figli.

Dovete metterli in guardia sulle terribili conseguenze che alienazione parentale may leave on your kid’s benessere.

As the final step, you should make them realize that their awful manipulation tactics may cost them losing the custody case. And make it clear that you won’t be silent about their alienation.

Il genitore mirato deve anche lavorare per rafforzare la relazione genitore-figlio. I vostri figli devono sapere che possono parlare con voi e che possono aprirsi con voi in qualsiasi momento.

Se nessuna di queste cose funziona, è necessario chiedere aiuto ad altri. Chiedete consiglio ai vostri familiari, ai consulenti legali o all'avvocato divorzista, oppure parlate con qualcuno che ha vissuto la stessa esperienza.