13 sfortunati segni di matrimonio con una moglie egoista
According to most marriage advice, selflessness is a crucial part of every healthy relationship and good marriage. However, more and more marriages and relationships face the same problem—the problem of a selfish wife or a selfish husband.
A selfish wife is one who only looks after her own needs and is interested in her own life. One who rarely takes her husband’s feelings into consideration, who wants everything to go her way and who thinks that the world revolves around her.
Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Well, in that case, you should definitely check out these unpleasant signs that you have a selfish wife, which will also help you understand how to deal with a selfish partner.
1. Si aspetta che voi siate sempre presenti per lei, ma non vi ricambia mai il favore.
In un matrimonio sano, è naturale che marito e moglie siano presenti l'uno per l'altra, qualunque cosa accada.
After some years of marriage, you two become one another’s migliori amici e il più grande sostegno in salute e in malattia, nei giorni buoni e in quelli cattivi, proprio come dicono le vostre promesse nuziali.
However, in your marriage, things don’t actually work that way. In fact, when you have a selfish spouse, she expects you to always be there for her but the first time you ask her to return the favor, she denies you it.
Vuole che la ascoltiate, che la spingiate avanti, che la ispiriate e che crediate in lei. Soprattutto, questa donna vuole che le asciughiate le lacrime, che le facciate tornare il sorriso e che le diate il sostegno di cui ha bisogno.
Nevertheless, she never treats you the same. In fact, when you’re going through any kind of trouble, she is nowhere to be found.
Il tuo partner egoista non è lì per confortarvi, essere il vento sotto le vostre ali o una spalla su cui piangere, e sono chiari segni di egoismo.
2. Si preoccupa solo dei propri bisogni
Dare la priorità a se stessi è fantastico e non è in alcun modo una forma di comportamento egoistico, anche dopo anni di matrimonio. Mettere la propria felicità al primo posto è qualcosa che dovremmo fare tutti.
However, you and your wife are now a team and you should be united. You’re equal partners in crime and nobody is more important than the other. At least, that is how things should be.
Well, if you’re dealing with a selfish wife, her needs will always come before yours. Her satisfaction and pleasure are the most significant things in the world, while yours don’t even matter.
Selfish wives don’t care about how their husband feels. They’re not interested in their well being and all they care about is themselves.
3. She doesn’t take responsibility
Ogni relazione è una strada a doppio senso. Significa che entrambe le persone coinvolte devono cercare di farla funzionare. È impossibile che una delle due parti si prenda tutta la colpa e sia sempre colpevole per le cose che accadono.
That is exactly what’s happening in your married life; you’re always the one your wife blames for literally everything that’s not perfect or okay.
Questa donna non si assume mai la responsabilità delle sue parole e delle sue azioni. Al contrario, lei ti illumina con il gas into thinking that you’re guilty, even when she’s the one who made a mistake.
When your wife apologizes, she doesn’t do it sincerely from the heart. Somehow, she always finds a way to tell you that you provoked her into treating you badly or that you’re the cause of her toxic behavior.
All of this is a sign that this woman doesn’t actually care much about your feelings and that she is the selfish partner here. She is obviously playing with your subconscious, trying to make you look like the bad guy at all times, even though the truth is much different.
Don’t fool yourself by thinking that she doesn’t see how things really are. She is perfectly aware that she also carries a part of the responsibility for bad things going on in your marriage but she deliberately chooses not to.
4. She doesn’t listen to you
Has it ever happened to you that you feel like your spouse doesn’t pay any attention whatsoever to the things you’re saying? That she actually doesn’t put any effort into understanding your points of view and getting to the bottom of your personality, despite the fact that she is your life partner?
Well, in that case, I’m sorry to break it to you but you’re dealing with a selfish wife. You have a wife who doesn’t give a damn about what you have to tell her, who doesn’t even try to understand you and who is always too busy to hear you out.
When you come to think about it, you have pretty poor communication in your marriage and mostly, it’s your wife’s fault. She is the one who doesn’t take your opinion into consideration and who never stops for a minute just to hear you out.
5. She doesn’t take part in your interests
Lei e sua moglie siete due persone distinte. Solo perché siete diventati una coppia sposata, it doesn’t mean that you ceased to exist as two different people.
However, when you love someone, you’ll try your best to be included in their life. You’ll put an effort into liking the things they like, just to have something in common to share.
Nevertheless, your wife doesn’t take part in your interests at all. She refuses to get involved in something you enjoy doing, even though she knows it would make you happy.
For her, it is too much of a sacrifice to watch an action movie for the sake of your love, even if she prefers romantic comedies, to accompany you to a concert of your favorite band even if she doesn’t enjoy listening to them or to watch a football match with you every once in a while.
Don’t get me wrong—nobody is asking her to change her tastes in music, movies or food. However, it would be nice of her to make some compromises because of you.
6. È prepotente
It’s one thing if you’re the type of guy who likes dominant women. You don’t feel threatened if you have a wife who knows what she wants from life and who doesn’t hesitate to take it, and also who is completely indipendente .
Tuttavia, è completamente diverso quando è autoritaria e ti dà ordini, perché è una cosa che fanno solo gli egoisti.
Ever since you two got married, she’s been ordering you around. Everything has to be her way and she expects you to blindly obey her and follow her instructions.
The moment you do something she doesn’t like, problems arise. It appears that she only loves you until you allow her to treat you like her subordinate.
This woman doesn’t understand that a happy marriage is all about equality. She doesn’t let you take part in the decision-making process when it comes to your life and acts like she owns you or as if you’re her doormat.
Compromise is an unknown word to this woman. She wouldn’t make one step toward meeting you halfway even if her life depended on it.
7. She threatens to leave when things don’t go her way
Let’s be honest; in every marriage and romantic relationship there comes a moment when one of you threatens to leave in the heat of an argument.
Ad un certo punto, si pensa che il proprio la relazione non ha futuro and you’re so angry that you see walking away as the best option you have.
However, things like these escalate too often in your married life. In fact, your wife emotionally blackmails you. She threatens to leave you every time something doesn’t go the way she wanted or planned and that is anything but a happy marriage.
In sostanza, vi sentite senza speranza e non vedete alcuna via d'uscita. Se le dite la vostra opinione, che non coincide con la sua, probabilmente chiederà il divorzio.
In fin dei conti, se volete mantenere il vostro matrimonio, non avete altra scelta che essere d'accordo con lei. Lasciate che vi dica che questa non è altro che una forma di manipolazione.
8. Il suo ego viene prima di tutto
All of us should have our pride and work hard to keep our dignity. However, love should always be above these things; of course, that’s if we’re talking about true love.
Well, that’s not how your wife rolls. In fact, she is a self-centered person who puts her ego above your marriage and above the alleged feelings she has for you.
When you two argue, she doesn’t care about reaching a final conclusion. She is not interested in making your fights productive; she is only interested in proving her point and coming out of all of your arguments right and undefeated.
Looking at things from this perspective, you’ll admit that for your selfish wife, her ego is more important than you and the future of your marriage.
9. È finanziariamente irresponsabile
Probabilmente entrambi avete un lavoro e delle fonti di reddito proprie, il che è ottimo. Dopotutto, ogni persona al mondo dovrebbe essere finanziariamente indipendente, indipendentemente dal suo stato civile.
However, you’re no longer dating. From the day you got married, you both agreed to share a life together. Not only that—you live in the same household as well. Therefore, it would be logical that you share both your incomes and costs.
Tuttavia, sua moglie è incredibilmente irresponsabile quando si tratta di questioni finanziarie. Si comporta come se i suoi soldi fossero solo suoi, mentre il vostro stipendio deve essere condiviso e speso insieme tra voi due.
Don’t get me wrong—nobody is claiming that your wife shouldn’t have her own money. However, it is certainly not fair that she expects you to cover all the expenses of your marriage while she wastes her entire paycheck on herself, as if you don’t exist and as if you two are not family members.
Ad esempio, in casa ci sarà sempre denaro sufficiente per i suoi desideri. Lei ha il diritto di viziarsi, mentre voi dovrete arrangiarvi con i soldi rimasti.
10. She doesn’t appreciate you
When you’re involved with a real woman, she’ll know how to appreciate everything you do for her.
It doesn’t mean that she has to be eternally grateful for the fact that you’re a buon marito but she’ll certainly respect all the sacrifices you make for the sake of your marriage and everything you do to make her happy.
On the other hand, your wife is selfish because she takes you for granted. She doesn’t appreciate you and acts as if she’s not happy to have such a great man like you by her side.
11. Prende tutte le decisioni
Selfishness, the same way as selflessness, can sometimes be seen in little, seemingly irrelevant things. One of the signs that your spouse is selfish is that they’re the one making all the choices and decisions about your life together.
For example, you two always go on vacation to the places she wants to visit. It doesn’t matter whether you prefer the mountains over the seaside; you’ll always put your desires aside, try your best to please her and do things her way.
The same goes for some everyday stuff. You’ll always spend your free time the way it suits her the best, you’ll go to the restaurants where she likes to eat and you’ll sleep together whenever she is in the mood.
12. Non si avvicina mai a te per primo dopo un litigio
Tutte le coppie litigano. In effetti, quando si sposarsi, di solito iniziate a litigare più spesso di quando eravate solo in una relazione.
Quindi, il punto sul suo egoismo non sta nel fatto che voi due litigate. Il punto è che lei non si avvicina quasi mai a te per prima dopo qualsiasi disaccordo che avete avuto.
You might not notice this at first but if you look at things a little deeper, you’ll come to the conclusion that your selfish wife actually almost never made the first step toward your reconciliation. It’s like she could stay mad at you forever or continue giving you the silent treatment for the rest of your lives.
Instead, you’re always the one who apologizes and who tries to make things work.
13. She doesn’t do any work around the house
In a good marriage, both partners share their duties around the house. The time when it was only a woman’s job to go to the grocery store, cook and clean for the entire family while a man was there to financially provide for them, are luckily long gone.
However, just because you two are equals and because you’re not a selfish man who treats his wife like a personal servant or a doormat, it doesn’t mean that it’s okay for her not to do any work around the house.
In realtà, la vostra moglie egoista si comporta per la maggior parte del tempo come se fosse un'ospite in un hotel di lusso. Si aspetta che sia tu a sbrigare tutte le faccende domestiche, a sistemare le cose in casa, a comprare il cibo al supermercato, a cucinare il pranzo e così via.
Se avete figli, la situazione è più o meno la stessa quando si parla di co-genitorialità as well. It doesn’t have to mean that she completely disregards your children but the fact is that you do much more as their father than her as their mother.
