Vi sentite poco amati? Ecco i possibili motivi e i modi per cambiare le cose

Feeling unloved and unappreciated? The first thing you need to know is that you’re definitely not alone. And secondly, there is an array of possible reasons behind it.

Essere amati significa sia dare amore che riceverlo. E quando sentite che i vostri familiari e i vostri cari vi hanno abbandonato, ci sono alcune cose che dovete capire prima di tutto.

L'amore incondizionato è un sentimento che deve essere espresso, sentito e ricevuto apertamente. Spesso le persone non riescono a vedere l'amore che le circonda. a causa della loro visione ristretta di ciò che è l'amore.

You cannot put your self-worth and self-esteem in someone else’s hands. Those should never be based on how much love you think you’re being given.

L'amore si manifesta in tutte le piccole cose che spesso si danno per scontate. Un messaggio di buonanotte premuroso. Un abbraccio lungo e sincero. Un gesto gentile durante un momento difficile. E l'elenco continua!

So if you’re going through a hard time in your marriage (or any other relationship), let’s first examine perché si continua a sbattere contro un muro di mattoni prima di imparare come per modificarlo.

Vedi anche: 12 motivi per cui un appuntamento al caffè è in realtà la migliore idea per il primo appuntamento

Da dove nasce questa sensazione di perdita?

Per aiutarvi a stare meglio, dovete innanzitutto capire da dove proviene questa sensazione opprimente. Ponetevi queste domande e le cose cominceranno a diventare molto più chiare.

1. Questo sentimento è rivolto a una persona specifica?

This is really important to figure out. Do you feel unloved because a particular person doesn’t love you (or so you think)? Is it a boyfriend/girlfriend or a family member perhaps?

It makes all the difference whether you feel unloved by one individual or if it’s a general feeling. Think long and hard to where it all started.

2. O lo sentite in senso più generale?

Perhaps you feel like nobody supports or cherishes you anymore. You’ve lost all hope that anyone will ever understand you and whomever you turn to, you feel unheard and totally unseen?

This is a much more delicate question that probably stems from a more serious situation. If you want to feel better about yourself, you’re going to have to dig deep.

3. Vi sentite come se tutti nella vostra vita vi avessero messo in pausa?

Siete ignorati dai vostri cari? State imparando a fatica chi sono i vostri veri amici? Siete afflitti da dubbi su voi stessi a causa di questa costante sensazione di terrore?

A way to self-improvement is by facing every single brick wall you’ve stumbled into and being brave in stating how you feel.

With a “me first” attitude, you will see who doesn’t deserve you and who will still make an effort despite your current struggles.

Vedi anche: 10 segni sinceri di essere sposati ma innamorati di un'altra persona

4. Maybe you’re feeling completely misunderstood?

Right now, there isn’t a single person who genuinely understands what you’re going through. And because of this, you’re wondering if trying is even worth it.

Ma lasciate che vi dica una cosa. Se volete che la gente vi capisca, dovete parlare a voce alta.

Spesso questo può essere il risultato diretto di un piccolo malinteso che si trasforma in qualcosa di molto più grande, perché nessuno è disposto a provarci.

5. Avete lasciato che le vostre insicurezze avessero la meglio su di voi?

Succede a tutti noi. Ci convinciamo di non essere degni d'amore e questo ci porta a sentirci isolati e alienati. Forse questo è completamente autoinflitto?

Consider how much self-love you let in and you’ll understand how intertwined it all is.

You subconsciously chase people away when you feel like you don’t deserve their love. This is something you can easily work out without professional help.

6. And finally – do you feel completely and utterly unlovable?

There are people who don’t share the deep pain they’re feeling because of fear it will make them seem even more complex. If you’re one of those individuals who feel 100% unlovable, you’re not alone.

Ci sono tanti che si sentono come voi e che, il più delle volte, si limitano ad assecondare la sensazione, senza nemmeno cercare di andare a fondo.

But there is always a solution, no matter how deep your pit seems. Don’t think you’re a lost cause just because you’ve decided that you are.

Here’s where you stand:

If you’ve found yourself in questions 1, 3, or 5, the issue is self-inflicted. And if the questions 2, 4, and 6 have resonated with you, your best bet is to turn to a close loved one.

Forse il vostro partner, fratello o migliore amico?

If you’re experiencing this feeling of loss because the love you’re receiving doesn’t coincide with your presumptions about what love should be, it’s something you definitely need to work on.

This is not personal; it’s an inner issue that you need to work out yourself. Expand your horizons when it comes to love and start seeing all the little ways it surrounds you without you recognizing it.

Often it happens that we don’t see love when it’s staring us right in the face. Don’t let your negativity or grand expectations ruin you for love.

Sentirsi non amati perché si è smesso di vedere questo mondo come un luogo pieno di speranza è un problema più serio. Le persone che si sentono indegne e non amabili di solito lottano con i problemi più profondi che sopprimono.

Leading a hopeless life and never allowing yourself to feel what you most certainly can feel will have serious consequences on your later life. There is hope for everyone – including you.

Vedi anche: 9 segni di una relazione di coppia di potere

Let’s Examine All The Little Ways In Which People Show Love

There’s a chance that this is all just in your head. People express love in ways that aren’t as obvious, but they’re just as deep and genuine.

Ecco tutti i modi in cui il vostro partner o qualsiasi altra persona cara vi dimostra che ci tiene a voi, che forse avete trascurato.

1. It’s always the little things…

I know you’ve probably heard this a million times and are slowly getting tired of it. But do you know what? It’s the absolute truth.

Le piccole cose sono sempre quelle che rompono di più quando si tratta di relazioni intime. Lo so per certo, perché sono quelle che mi hanno aiutato di più a capire chi mi sostiene davvero.

Darti metà del loro panino durante un lungo viaggio in macchina senza supermercati in vista è amore.

Picking up your dry cleaning that you can’t as your day is extremely long – that’s love. Letting you choose a rom-com for the tenth night in a row is love.

Open your eyes and start seeing the love you’re surrounded with. Remember – love is about actions, not words!

2. Quando trovano il tempo per voi, anche se sapete quanto siano frenetiche le loro giornate.

Le persone sono impegnate a destreggiarsi tra vita personale, carriera, famiglia, amici e hobby, ed è quasi impossibile trovare un'ora per sé.

And yet, when someone manages to make time to be there for you, you don’t truly appreciate it.

Do you know how easy it is to just say no as they’re super busy?

But they don’t. They move things around and they give you the time of day. Recognize these gems of humans and value them!

Saprete chi vi sostiene quando inizierete a capire che ci sono persone che saranno sempre troppo impegnate, mentre ce ne sono altre il cui tempo è sempre a vostra disposizione.

Don’t take that for granted. Don’t think for a second you’re unloved. That’s pure love.

Chi si preoccupa trova sempre il tempo. Riconoscetelo, apprezzatelo e non trascuratelo mai più.

3. When they listen in order to understand where you’re coming from

People will pretend to listen, but do they really? Heck, anybody can say ”You’ve got my full attention, fire away!” then scroll through their social media feed and browse around. That’s not listening.

Listening is giving you their full attention and making an actual effort to comprehend your stance. Listening is having a conversation in order to improve what’s getting lost in translation.

It’s hard to explain yourself sometimes. But if there is somebody out there who keeps making efforts to hear you and acknowledge you, you are loved.

They don’t have to say ”I love you” in order for it to be true. If they are simply present, that’s what counts!

Vedi anche: Come costruire la fiducia in una relazione? Strategie semplici ma efficaci

4. When they don’t minimize your issues

There will be people who are always going to have it worse than you. If you’re sick and poorly, they’ll be much worse.

If you’re having a hard time at work, theirs will be even worse. If your family is a bit distant, theirs will have renounced them.

You get the gist. And with those people, you’ll never win. Not that there’s any winning when dealing with problems.

If you have people in your life who don’t make you feel crazy for dealing with issues, you are loved. If there are people who take your mental illness (if you’re struggling with one) seriously, you are loved.

If you’ve got people who’ll offer their help without cheesy lines or half-assed efforts, you are very much loved.

Le persone che vogliono veramente aiutarvi, che si preoccupano dei vostri problemi e che si fanno vedere costantemente per voi sono gemme.

Considerate questo aspetto prima di diagnosticarvi come non amabili.

5. Quando abbandonano tutto per te

If you have someone who’ll drop whatever they’re doing (cooking lunch, playing video games, relaxing after a long day) the minute you call them up, that is priceless.

People don’t really appreciate somebody’s time and effort until they’re gone. Don’t let yourself lose a great human being by not seeing everything they do for you.

I was involved with a toxic narcissist a few years back, who wouldn’t take out the trash or wash the dishes if my life depended on it.

If I called him in an emergency, there was always an excuse as to why he can’t be there.

It was dreadful and naturally, I had to break up with him. And ever since, I’ve learned to appreciate everyone who gives me their time selflessly.

A volte queste cose si imparano a fatica, ma non bisogna mai chiudere gli occhi di fronte alle persone genuine. Sono troppo rare!

People show love in subtle ways we don’t always see.

La sensazione di non essere amati a volte è più legata a come ci si percepisce che a come ci trattano gli altri.

There are genuine, yet subtle ways that love comes your way. Don’t let yourself get too sidetracked and risk losing it.

People have their own lives and responsibilities. It’s not always easy making yourself available at every hour of the day.

Ma chi fa sempre uno sforzo per raggiungere e offrire la propria assistenza, alla lunga ne vale la pena.

It’s not your fault when people disappoint you. That’s on them! But don’t let one or two negative experiences make you believe that you’re unloved – or worse off, unlovable.

Una buona relazione (che sia con il partner, con un amico o con un fratello) consiste nell'impegnarsi e nel fare uno sforzo anche nei momenti difficili.

Don’t be the first one to give up on yourself if there are people who still care.

Think about it. If in this world filled with bad people and bad things happening every day, you still have someone who shows up, don’t you owe it to yourself to appreciate and hold onto them?

Vedi anche: Superare il cuore spezzato: 16 consigli per guarire il cuore

Come iniziare a sentirsi meglio con se stessi?

It’s okay if you’re still feeling a bit lost and perplexed. This is a lot of information to take on, so take your time.

I’m certain you’ve been able to see that there è qualcuno là fuori che si preoccupa veramente. E questo migliorerà le cose in modo esponenziale.

1. Imparare ad apprezzare i piccoli gesti gentili delle persone

Trovate l'amore e la felicità e le piccole cose che vi circondano ogni giorno.

Un semplice sorriso da parte di uno sconosciuto per strada può fare molta strada. Un complimento genuino sul vostro lavoro/sforzo vi dà un motivo per sentirvi orgogliosi.

Look around you. There will ALWAYS be something to be negative about, and I get that. But in the midst of all the negativity, it’s more important than ever to uncover the little positive things.

I promise you, once you start really looking at those around you and hearing them, you’ll see that you’re much more loved than you think.

People do small acts of kindness all the time – you just have to want to see them.

2. Iniziare a darsi delle priorità

Putting yourself first is a necessity. It isn’t selfish, it’s something you need to do if you ever expect to be loved properly.

Smettete di fare le cose per gli altri e iniziate a farle per voi stessi. Smettete di cercare di compiacere tutti quelli che vi circondano e iniziate a pensare a ciò che vi rende felici.

Don’t tend to others’ needs and forget about yourself in the process. You are SO important, and your mental health is too!

Feeling unloved sucks, but not loving yourself is even worse! Maybe if you showed yourself some self-love, you’d finally start allowing yourself to feel the love from others too.

3. Don’t take it personally when people disappoint you

Oftentimes, people struggle internally, which translates onto their behavior toward others. Yeah, people will let you down. That’s just a reality that everyone goes through.

But what matters is not to take it personally. It’s on them, not you. Pick yourself up, and move forward. Shitty people are everywhere, and the only way around is by forgetting you ever knew them.

It will hurt and definitely make you feel a little sad. But in a few weeks, you’ll be as good as new, finally realizing how much better off you are without them.

And they’ll still be the same toxic person, disappointing others left and right.

La vostra autostima dipende da quanto apprezzate voi stessi, non da quanto amore ricevete dalle persone sbagliate.

4. Stop looking for love in places you’ll never receive it

We’ve all done it. We’ve all looked for love in the wrong places, in hopes of finding our happily-ever-after. And most of the time, quite unsuccessfully.

And the solution? Stop going for love where you’ve been burned already!

I know it’s hard, but look for love in new places that haven’t already disappointed you. Turn over a new leaf and start giving people chances to surprise you.

You’ll never find your happy place where you’ve already been disappointed. Check that off your list and move in a new direction.

Sure, it’s daunting, but happiness is often found in the most unexpected places!

5. Dare amore in modo disinteressato e senza aspettative

Love is selfless. It’s not something you give in order to feel better about yourself. Learn to give love without expecting anything in return.

Do some good without needing anyone’s validation and praise. This will help you feel much better about yourself internally and you’ll start to see the real beauty of love.

Give and you shall receive! Show love and you’ll be loved back! The right people will always find you. If they haven’t, they don’t belong in your life.

In my own experience, I feel much better when I’m able to provide someone with a glimmer of hope or affection when I know they need it the most. That’s what feeds my soul.

Cercate di restituire senza aspettarvi nulla in cambio. La sensazione è impagabile e, onestamente, mette tutto in prospettiva.

Le persone gentili gravitano su persone gentili. Siate una brava persona e la bontà vi troverà.

Vedi anche: Choose Kindness – You Never Know What Someone Is Going Through

Punti di forza

Feeling unloved is an internal feeling that should never be played down. But at the same time, it’s necessary to look at it from other perspectives in order to find a way out.

It’s okay to feel down. It’s okay to have your off days. But never think that there’s something wrong with you if somebody can’t treat you right.

Spero che le mie indicazioni siano state in grado di aiutarvi a capire qual è il problema reale e come risolverlo a lungo termine.

Love is everywhere around you. You can see it in a stranger’s smile, your partner’s unexpected warm hug, your sister’s kind gesture, or your mom’s unwavering support.

Weed out the wrong people, focus on those few genuine souls in your life, and shrug off those who can’t love you.

Fate di voi stessi la vostra priorità numero uno e vedrete come le cose inizieranno a cambiare rapidamente! Quando imparerete il potere dell'amore per voi stessi, nulla sarà più come prima.