8 segni di una relazione di coppia (e cosa fare)

Dear reader, if you’re confused about your relationship status with another person, then you might be in a situationship. No, there’s no need for you to start panicking right away because this happens to lots of people out there (including myself).

Essere in una relazione non definita o non impegnata è diventata una cosa normale. Può essere difficile capire dove tutto questo sta andando a parare quando ci si trova nella fase di fasi iniziali di appuntamenti.

Volete entrambi far parte di un relazione impegnata? Ti va bene essere amico con benefici? Sai già cosa vuoi?

Damn, these questions can confuse even the strongest of spirits. No wonder people had to come up with the new dating term ‘situationship’ to define all this madness.

But things don’t have to be che complicato. You’ll find out all you need to know about this type of relationship and what to do if you’re in one below. Also, we’ll spice it all up with some quotes that perfectly define the essence of a situationship!

Ready? Then let’s get to it!

Che cos'è una relazione?

Here’s one simple situationship definition: A situationship is the space between a committed relationship and something that is more than a friendship. It is an uncommitted or undefined romantic relationship.

Urban Dictionary lo definisce come segue: “A relationship that has nessuna etichetta on it… like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship.”

If you want an even simpler definition: It’s when you’re neither HERE nor THERE.

You’ve been seeing each other regularly for a couple of weeks, months (or even years?), and you both know that it’s not just about sex.

You have so much fun together, meaningful conversations are a part of your hangout routine, but you still haven’t (or you have no idea how to) define all that.

Si vuole evitare il DTR (definire la relazione) Non è il caso di fare una conversazione a tutti i costi, perché non si ha idea di come affrontarla. Volete anche evitare di trovarvi in una relazione unilaterale.

It’s when you know that the struggle (situationship vs. relationship) is real.

Vedi anche: Perché ai ragazzi piacciono le relazioni? 10 ragioni rivelate

Una situazione di coppia è negativa?

A situationship is not necessarily bad, and it all depends on both partner’s expectations of their relationship (or the thing they have at the moment). Look at it this way:

If one partner wants to define things and (secretly) desires to be in a committed relationship while the other partner doesn’t want the same thing, then their situationship is a bad thing.

Se entrambi i partner sono sulla stessa lunghezza d'onda, ma hanno solo bisogno di più tempo per uscire da una situazione di crisi. Situazione di vita and define things, then it’s not that bad.

It all depends on both people’s expectations of the thing they currently have. Being in such a relationship doesn’t need to be bad if it’s only a transitional phase toward something defined.

But if we’re talking about potential amore non corrisposto, problemi di impegno e così via, allora questo tipo di relazione può richiedere un tributo. Quindi, essere onesti con se stessi. Che cosa volete veramente?

Quanto durano le situazioni?

Che ci crediate o no, queste relazioni possono durare mesi (o addirittura anni) e di solito ci sono due possibili esiti:

• Può essere una fase di transizione.
• Non si muove mai in avanti.

Questo tipo di relazione può essere una fase di transizione verso un rapporto impegnato e definito, oppure non andrà mai avanti.

One (or both partners) will initiate the DTR (define the relationship) conversation, or one or both partners will decide to move on. There’s no grey area here. Wait, there is. It’s staying in a situationship.

Come si fa a sapere se si è in una situazione di coppia?

If you haven’t defined the thing you have yet, then you’re in a situationship. Wait, I have better examples.

If you’re feeling anxious about being on the same page as your partner, you know you’re in an undefined relationship or una quasi relazione.

Also, if you’re having trouble sleeping, eating, etc., then you secretly wish to be in a committed relationship with your partner but are afraid that they don’t. Therefore, you’re in a situationship.

That’s what happened to me recently. I refused to initiate DTR because I didn’t want to pressure the guy I was dating, so I waited for him to take the first step.

Well, he didn’t, and we continued being in an undefined relationship until I decided that it was time to move on. Here’s how you’ll know if this is happening to you:

Signs You’re DEFINITELY In A Situationship

You haven’t put a label on your relationship (yet)

If you haven’t defined the relationship, then you know you’re in a situationship. Talking about the meaning of real situationship…

There are multiple reasons for this “phenomenon.” Perhaps you’re dealing with un uomo emotivamente non disponibile or woman, or they’re not interested in anything serious at the moment.

You don’t make plans in advance

You don’t make plans in advance, but you’re fare l'amore and not just having sex. This is probably one of the most complicated sentences in the universe, but that’s just how this type of relationship works.

Frequenza irregolare delle riunioni

Ai tempi delle app di incontri, la mancanza di coerenza è diventata un trend. Questo è particolarmente vero per i millennial che si trovano spesso in relazioni non definite.

Last-minute or short-term plans have become routine. You know it’s less than a relationship, but still, it’s more than a casual encounter or booty call.

Mancanza di connessione emotiva

Every official and healthy relationship is based on a strong emotional connection. If you’re having surface-level conversations, this is a telltale sign that there is no connection or exclusivity.

Learning about the other person’s life, dreams, goals, etc., helps partners connect on a deeper level. If they don’t, then they get stuck in a situationship.

Potrebbero frequentare altre persone

Quando ero bloccata in una relazione indefinita con un ragazzo, mi chiedevo continuamente: È un giocatore? Cercavo indizi sui social media che potessero far pensare che fosse vero, e avevo ragione.

Christie Tcharkhoutian, PhD, LMFT, senior matchmaker presso la Three Day Rule di Los Angeles, descrive questo fenomeno degli incontri online seguito dalla fobia dell'impegno come segue:

“Online app di incontri have created this paradox of choice. We have so many options, and it’s hard to commit to that person in front of us because when they go to the bathroom, we can just swipe.”

And that’s how you end up in an undefined relationship. You might secretly prioritize them, but they might be seeing other people because you haven’t defined anything.

They haven’t introduced you to their friends and family

If your “new relationship” consists of Netflix and random hookups, then you know you’re not in a real relationship.

The same thing applies if they haven’t introduced you to their friends and/or family. Ladies, being too busy is just one of the many scuse che gli uomini usano per evitare di impegnarsi.

Vi sentite ansiosi e confusi

Are you okay with being someone’s mezza fidanzata or half-boyfriend? If not, then, of course, you’ll feel anxious and confused.

This type of undefined relationship can greatly influence a person’s mental health and quality of life (speaking from experience). Don’t be ashamed to ask for help from psychotherapists and relationship experts.

There’s no discussion about future plans

There’s no discussion about the future, Caratteristiche di una buona fidanzata o fidanzato, o qualsiasi altra cosa legata alle relazioni reali.

L'unica discussione che avete (con voi stessi) è mentre pensate alle bandiere rosse in questa cosa indefinita che avete.

What To Do If You’re In A Situationship

If you’re okay with being in such a relationship, then continue doing what you’re doing. If you’re not okay with being in an undefined relationship but want something more, then don’t follow situationship rules.

L'onestà è il migliore politica. Dite loro che volete essere il loro legittimo fidanzato/ragazza. Tell them you’re interested in a relazione a lungo termine e non situazioni di vita.

If you’re both on the same page, then you’ll easily make a transition to an official relationship. Before having a conversation with them, think about whether you’re sabotare inconsciamente la vostra relazione di coppia (o, per meglio dire, la relazione indefinita).

If you’re interested in defining your relationship, but they aren’t, then walking away from a situationship and cutting off all communication is the best option (and probably the only option).

Citazioni sulle situazioni

Regardless of if you’re in a Situazione di vita o meno, queste citazioni vi aiuteranno a capire meglio il concetto che sta alla base di una relazione non definita:

• “A ‘situationship’ is not a relationship. Excuses about limitations and obstacles are just a lack of courage and commitment. Those who truly want to be together, find a way to make it happen.” – Anthon St. Maarten
• “Situazioni: let’s just chill, have sex, and be confused about the fact that we are not together but have official emotions for each other.” – Unknown
• “A man who is truly interested in a woman will find an endless number of reasons why he must see her. A man who is just playing around or confused about his own feelings will find an endless number of excuses why he didn’t show up.” – Charles Orlando
• “Staying in a situation where you’re unappreciated isn’t called loyalty; it’s called breaking your own heart.” – Unknown
• “I don’t know why we all hang on to something we know we’re better off letting go of. It’s like we’re scared to lose what we don’t even really have. Some of us say we’d rather have something than absolutely nothing, but the truth is, to have it halfway is harder than not having it at all.” – Meredith Grey
• “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 200 times…we are probably in a Situazione di vita.” – Unknown
• “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” – Maya Angelou
• “People aren’t even dating anymore, just talking, catching feelings, sleeping together, and ending up in situationships.” – Unknown
• “If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” – Paulo Coelho

RICORDARE: le situazioni possono diventare relazioni

Situationships don’t have to be complex or frustrating if both partners know what they want. With that being said, conversation is key when it comes to taking things to the next level and entering the realm of real relationships.

And here’s some extra help (given that I’m feeling generous today): 5 modi a prova di bomba per trasformare una situazione in una relazione.