Perché ai ragazzi piacciono le relazioni? 10 ragioni rivelate

È una mia impressione o le relazioni reali si sono estinte? Non ricordo l'ultima volta che ho sentito un ragazzo e una ragazza diventare una vera coppia.

Tutti i miei amici sono in relazioni occasionali of some form – they have friends with benefits or go from one hookup to another. When I tried figuring out what had changed in the last couple of years, I came to one conclusion: in most cases, men are the ones running away from committed romantic relationships. They’re the ones who initiate these situationships, and girls just tag along because they think they don’t have any other option.

But the real question is: Why do guys like situationships? What’s in it for them? Perché un uomo medio oggi dovrebbe scegliere gli incontri occasionali piuttosto che il vero affare? Ecco cosa ho capito:

Perché ai ragazzi piacciono le situazioni?

I talked to some of my male friends and asked them, “Why do guys like situationships?” Everything they told me can be summed up in these 14 answers:

1. Il brivido dell'inseguimento

Men are natural hunters. You know what guy likes you the most? The one who knows he can’t have you. Or, to be exact, the one who has to inseguirti.

When you get into a real relationship, there is no more chasing. What a relief, you must think. Well, it’s like that for mature people. On the other hand, immature boys are addicted to the thrill of the chase.

And that’s exactly what they never stop getting in an Relazione di tipo FWB. Non sanno mai cosa accadrà dopo e cosa porterà il domani.

L'adrenalina mantiene un ragazzo attaccato a voi. In questo modo, le farfalle non scompaiono praticamente mai.

2. Vantaggi della relazione senza la relazione vera e propria

If a man is being honest, this is probably one of the most common answers he’ll give to the question of “Why do guys like situationships?” As complicated as it might seem, it’s actually one of the simplest things in the world: si divertono a ottenere tutto senza dare nulla in cambio.

In pratica, you’re giving a guy all the benefits of a relationship without him actually calling you his girlfriend.

You’re there when he wants to go out on a date, he has someone to text whenever he feels like it, someone to travel with, and someone to call in the middle of the night when all of his friends are busy.

He has a girl to cuddle with, a girl to sleep next to, a girl to kiss, and, let’s face it, most importantly, a girl he has at his disposal as a chiamata di cortesia. Questo ragazzo ha qualcuno che lo ama, si prende cura di lui e svolge tutti i compiti della fidanzata.

And what does he give you in return? That’s right: one, big, nothing. You have no right to nag him or be jealous.

When you call him out for not giving you enough attention or forgetting your birthday, he just tells you that you’re not in a serious relationship. He doesn’t have to show up to change your flat tire, nor is he obligated to be your plus one at important events.

Has it ever occurred to you that you’re dealing with problemi di relazione with someone you’re not in a relationship with?

3. Fobici dell'impegno

Alcuni uomini sono terrorizzati dall'idea che impegnarsi in una relazione significhi perdere tutta la loro libertà. Questi uomini sono chiamati "fobici dell'impegno" e passano da una relazione all'altra.

They prefer casual dating over the real deal because they don’t feel any responsibility until they actually definire la vostra storia d'amore.

La cosa più divertente è quando un fobico dell'impegno si comporta come il tuo ragazzo. Ti manda sempre messaggi, si diverte a passare del tempo con te ed è persino geloso degli altri ragazzi della tua vita. In pratica, voi due avete una relazione, ma non le avete mai dato un vero titolo.

Tuttavia, quando gli si chiede di rendere le cose ufficiali, si dà alla fuga. It’s like he assumes that you’ll tie him up and take away all of his freedom the moment he agrees to be your actual boyfriend.

4. “Legal” cheating

Perché ai ragazzi piacciono le relazioni di coppia? Beh, per molti ragazzi, quasi relazioni are actually just an excuse to “legally” cheat. Let’s face it – you can be jealous all you want, but you don’t have the right to express your jealousy because you’re not this man’s official girlfriend.

He might be having casual sex and one-night stands with random girls, and that’s technically not considered cheating. He is allowed to be on Tinder and other online dating apps, and you don’t have a say in it.

You’re not allowed to check his phone, ask him about his whereabouts, or nag him about girls he follows on Instagram, Snapchat, and other social media platforms. You two are amici con beneficie ha il diritto di agire in questo modo.

At least, that’s what he says when you confront him about all the other women in his life. Not only that: he reminds you that you agreed to these terms and that you’re free to do whatever you want as well.

And when you come to think about it – he’s not wrong. I mean, you did choose this kind of love life for yourself.

5. Mantenere aperte le opzioni

Agli uomini piacciono le relazioni di coppia perché in questo modo possono mantenere aperte le proprie opzioni. Finiranno per uscire davvero con voi? O all'ultimo momento apparirà qualche altra donna più conveniente? Chi lo sa?

In this scenario, a guy is keeping you as his backup plan. I know that this sounds harsh, but he’ll give you the title of his girlfriend if nobody better shows up by the time he gets tired of his bachelor life.

E nel frattempo? Beh, è libero di fare quello che vuole senza preoccuparsi del vostro benessere.

6. Uomini emotivamente non disponibili

Here’s another reason men choose situationships: they’re emotivamente non disponibile. You meet a guy who is simply not ready for a relationship because he is still not over his ex, or he doesn’t feel capable of opening up to someone new.

It’s a good thing if he’s honest from the start. You should appreciate him telling you the truth and asking you not to expect much.

However, it doesn’t mean that you should stick with this man, especially if it’s likely that you’ll build an emotional connection with him.

In fact, most guys who claim to be emotionally unavailable are actually walking red flags. Deep down, they want you to fight for them and give them your everything. At the same time, you’re expected to understand that they can’t give you their love back.

7. It’s more fun

Molti dei miei amici maschi dicono che le relazioni di coppia sono molto più divertenti delle relazioni vere e proprie. Cioè, you’re only getting the good parts of the romantic relationship. You get the butterflies, you have the chase, and you have regular sex.

But there is no fighting over everyday things, like who will take out the trash or who liked another person’s photo on social media. There is no jealousy, no neediness, and no responsibility.

When you’re in a situationship, you’re not required to see your partner on a regular basis. You don’t have to stay and listen to them nag, and you don’t have to put up with their annoying friends and family.

You don’t have to hold their hand during hard times, and you don’t have to be at their disposal when they need you. Also, when you want to break up, you don’t have to think of how you’ll do it. You just disappear from each other’s lives, and that’s about it.

There is no such thing as falling into a rut. The moment the excitement is gone, you’re gone as well.

8. They don’t love you enough

Let’s get one thing clear: if a man knows that you care for him, but he keeps che ti prende per i fondelli con questo rapporto di situazione, he doesn’t care sui propri sentimenti. The harsh truth is that he doesn’t love you enough to make you his girlfriend.

Deve dirvi che è non pronto per una relazione right now. Well, guess what? He’s non è pronto per una relazione con te.

Does he care that he’s hurting you? Absolutely not! Does he feel guilty for ruining your mental health? No! Does he give a damn about putting you through this heartbreak? Also no.

Well, if he loved you, he wouldn’t be immune to your pain. He’d do everything in his power to make you happy. Instead, he’s only making you miserable!

9. Rafforza il loro ego

This is something not many men will admit, but the truth is that situationships boost their self-esteem. Of course, I’m talking about the ones they initiate.

If your almost-boyfriend sees that you’re ready to stay with him, even though he refuses to give you what you want and deserve, he sees himself as Apollo. He thinks of himself as irresistible.

You’re there, begging him to give you briciole della sua attenzione. You’re there, loving him despite his behavior and despite the fact that he doesn’t love you back.

Everything happens according to his terms. He can see other girls, while you only have eyes for him. Basically, he can do whatever he wants, and you’ll stick by his side, no matter what.

Questo lo rende un essere umano terribile e tossico? Assolutamente sì, ma un essere umano terribile e tossico sicuro di sé.

10. Minore impegno

Perché ai ragazzi piacciono le relazioni sentimentali? Uno dei motivi è che quasi tutte le relazioni li sollevano dai doveri di fidanzato.

Your almost-boyfriend doesn’t have to put any effort into keeping you by his side. All he has to do is text you, and you’ll appear on his doorstep in a matter of minutes.

He doesn’t have to buy you flowers on a regular basis, nor is he expected to throw you romantic surprises. He doesn’t have the “responsibility” of sending you a good morning and a good night text every day.

He doesn’t have to make time in his tight schedule to see you. He can go on a trip with his friends without even notifying you, let alone consulting you.

The list is pretty much endless, but I guess you see where I’m going. This man invests no energy in your situationship.

Una situazione è tossica?

A situationship doesn’t always have to be toxic. In fact, it is only toxic when it’s not a mutual agreement. What does this mean?

Well, if you’re in a situationship with a man just because he wants it, then it’s toxic and unhealthy. At the same time, you would give anything for you two to be in a relazione reale, but you’re settling for less this way.

You know that if you give him an ultimatum to make you his girlfriend or leave, you will lose him forever. So you assume that it’s better to have him this way than not have him at all.

Naturalmente, sperate segretamente che voi due possiate diventare presto una vera coppia. E lui? Invece di essere corretto e di lasciarti andare, ti tiene come il suo piano di riserva nel caso in cui non arrivi nulla di meglio.

Se questo è un dato di fatto, non c'è dubbio che la vostra relazione è tossica.

Una relazione è sana?

Sì, situationships can be healthy – if all people involved agree on having things this way. Sometimes, both you and the guy you’re seeing enjoy spending time together without defining your relationship status. But this is what you really both want – you didn’t agree to it to protect your egos and not look desperate.

Se tutte le carte sono in tavola fin dall'inizio, la vostra relazione può essere sana. Naturalmente, se uno dei due cambia idea all'improvviso, bisogna essere onesti al riguardo. Comunicate le vostre esigenze e i vostri desideri e non ci saranno problemi lungo il percorso!

Le situazioni si trasformano in relazioni?

I’ll be honest with you: più Le relazioni di coppia non si trasformano mai in relazioni a lungo termine. In fact, the most likely scenario is that you will fall in love with your almost-boyfriend, while he won’t form an emotional connection. Just like that, you are left heartbroken.

Tuttavia, this doesn’t mean that it’s impossible for an almost-relationship to turn into a healthy relationship. In fact, some one-night stands end up in long-term marriages. Basically, it all depends on the couple.

But here’s some consigli per gli incontri: it’s better not to get your hopes up! Don’t expect too much because happy endings in these stories are extremely rare.

Perché finisco sempre in una relazione?

La risposta a questa domanda è piuttosto facile: si finisce in una situazione di coppia perché you give girlfriend privileges to guys who don’t have the decency to actually give you this title. You’re too insecure to talk about your standards right from the start.

When you first start seeing a guy, you should tell him that you won’t settle for anything less than a real relationship. Sadly, this is not how you act. On the contrary, you’re afraid that he’ll think of you as desperate if you say this.

Well, trust me – he won’t. You’ll only show him that you know what you want and aren’t afraid to get it.

The next reason you always end up in situationships lies in the fact that you don’t know when to call it quits. You see that this man you’re seeing will never etichettare la vostra relazione.

You see that your almost-relationship isn’t going anywhere, but despite that, you keep getting your hopes up. Rimanete con quest'uomo e continuate ad accontentarvi di poco. Prima che ve ne rendiate conto, sprecate anni in una storia d'amore senza futuro.

Per concludere:

Now that you’ve gotten a sneak peek into the male mind and learned the answers to “Why do guys like situationships?” I hope you’ll put this knowledge to good use. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not judging you if you really want this type of relationship.

However, if you want the real deal, don’t let a man use you for casual sex. Trust me, he’s not worth it. There are plenty of guys who will give you what you want and deserve.

Instead of wasting more of your precious time, energy, and effort on someone who’ll never see your true value, walk away from this quasi-romance. Learn how to appreciate and respect yourself! Until you do, nobody else will either.