Ti manca la persona che ero

Ormai è tutto passato. Ti manca la vecchia versione di me.

I’m not that person anymore, so it’s easy… You can’t miss me… so stop it!

I know that I look to you like I haven’t cried a day.

Ora quando mi guardate, vedete una donna forte, che sorride sinceramente e dal profondo del cuore.

Sì, sono quella donna che sta di fronte a voi.

I wasn’t like that when you left me. You have no idea what I went through or how long it took me to become what I am today. 

I’ve been through hell and back. I cried myself to sleep, asking myself why I was not good enough and if I ever would be. 

I’ve been on a whole journey since you left me.

Mentre vi stavate divertendo, godendo della vostra vita e della vostra libertà (senza avere la minima idea saresti tornato strisciando), stavo raccogliendo i pezzi della mia dignità, del mio amore e della mia capacità di fidarmi ancora di qualcun altro.

I’ve been up and down, I went through every crisis an addict goes through.

Mi mancavi così tanto che mi facevi male fisicamente. Avrei fatto qualsiasi cosa pur di riaverti.

Ero pronta a tutto, pur di stare al tuo fianco. Ero così dipendente da te e non ne avevo idea.

Non prima di essermi disintossicato per la prima volta. Now, I’ve changed. I’ve grown. I’ve moved on. 

Ti manco, ma ti manca la persona sbagliata. 

I’m not and nor will I ever return to being the girl you once knew. I’m not pliable anymore.

I’m not that girl you played games with and enjoyed only when you had the time.

I’m not that girl who used to send you texts and call you to get a voicemail in return.

I’m not sitting on my bed anymore, anxiously staring at my phone, hoping that your name will pop up on the screen.

Fuck that, I’m done. 

I’m not innocent and I’m not sweet anymore. I’m not lovable anymore and I’m not the favorite one in your gang anymore. Do you want to know why? 

Because you taught me that I don’t have to pretend to be something I’m not just for the purpose of getting people to love me.

You made me realize that I don’t need fake friends to be happy. Moreover, I’m happier without them in my life.

I don’t have to pretend to laugh at jokes that are not funny. I don’t have to be someone I’m not just to be liked—by you or anyone else. 

So, no… I’m not the girl you miss anymore. 

I know you don’t like it, but frankly… I don’t care. You don’t like it because I’m not that easy to manipulate anymore.

Ai tempi, avresti potuto fare qualsiasi cosa e io avrei trovato una scusa per il tuo comportamento.

I would have forgiven you for the most horrible things… because I was blind. Blind and foolish. 

Today, I’m not letting you treat me with disrespect. I’m not letting you belittle me or walk all over me. Those days are gone. I know it, but sadly, you still don’t. 

Posso vedere chiaramente attraverso le vostre bugie. Non c'è nulla al mondo che tu possa nascondere a me.

And when I find out what you’re hiding, I say it out loud. I have no problem with outing you in front of anybody.

I have no problem because I simply don’t care anymore. 

I’ve finally realized my own worth and I’m not trading that feeling for anyone or anything in this world. 

Una parte di me si sente ancora in colpa per aver abbandonato quella dolce e ingenua ragazza del passato.

That girl trusted everyone. That girl put everyone else’s happiness before her own.

I’m sad because the world functions in a way where you mustn’t give selfless help to everyone around you. 

If you do so without carefully choosing who deserves to be helped, it’s going to destroy you.

In the end, you’re going to find yourself empty on the inside, unable to remember the last time you smiled because you were happy.

You were my lesson, the toughest lesson I had to learn. And now… now I put myself first.

I’ve sworn to myself that my happiness is never going to disappear again.

Mi prendo cura di me stesso, cosa che la persona che ricordate non ha mai fatto.   

I’m not the person you used to know. I’m not the one you miss, so please… leave me alone.