13 cose da ricordare quando si esce con una persona non affettuosa
When dating a non affectionate person, there are some things you need to know and remember. To be honest, the first thing I need to say is that it’ll be everything but easy.
You’ll want to back out numerous times. You’ll want to walk away because you’ll simply lose all hope that things will change one day.
Deep down, you’ll know it’s something that can not be done because you’re aware of how much you love your significant other. And that is something that can’t be changed that easily, even if they never show affection, it still doesn’t mean you’ll stop loving them because of it.
Tuttavia, dovreste tenere a mente le seguenti cose. E la buona notizia è che di seguito ho condiviso con voi anche alcuni consigli relazionali che vi aiuteranno a gestire più facilmente il vostro partner non affettuoso.
13 cose da tenere a mente quando si esce con una persona non affettuosa
Let’s go and find out the things you should pay attention to if you’re dating a non affectionate person.
1. You’ll need to try very hard to determine what their love language is
Ci sono I cinque linguaggi dell'amore : quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, receiving gifts and physical touch. Your partner’s love language is one of these and you just need to make an effort to find out which one exactly.
Once you find out that information, it’ll be easier for you to understand why they are so affectionless. Inoltre, cercate di dare loro dei suggerimenti su quale sia il vostro linguaggio d'amore: una volta scoperto, potrebbero cambiare il loro comportamento.
2. They won’t be able to understand why affection is such a big deal for you
Because they’re affectionless, it’ll be difficult for them to understand why you’re making such a big deal because of a lack of affection in your relationship.
They might even start thinking that you’re making such a biggie because it’s only because you want to get rid of them. They’ll think you’re using it as an excuse to back out of the relationship.
3. La presa in mano è un grande no per loro
They don’t want to be seen tenersi per mano with their partner outside and it’s not because they’re ashamed of them, but simply because they don’t like doing things they don’t feel comfortable with.
Tenersi per mano e simili manifestazioni pubbliche di affetto aren’t proof of love for them. That’s probably why they don’t pay too much attention to those kinds of things.
4. Qualsiasi tipo di dimostrazione pubblica di affetto è fuori dalla loro zona di comfort.
Okay, most people hate PDA-ing and we try to avoid it as much as possible. However, when our partner grabs our hand while walking outside, we don’t bounce it back.
Even if it’s out of your comfort zone, you’ll sacrifice for your loved one because you probably know how much it means to them. But a non affectionate person won’t sacrifice because they simply care about their own feelings more.
5. You’ll miss cuddling and snuggling
If you’re the cuddly type of person, you’re going to miss it in a relationship with a non affectionate person. They simply avoid it and they prefer their personal space.
On date movies night, it’ll be awkward for you not to snuggle with your partner while watching the movie, but with time, you’ll get used to it. Of course, if you decide to give your non affectionate person time.
6. Il contatto fisico sarà ridotto al minimo
A hug is the maximum you can expect from an affectionless partner on a daily basis. Don’t expect them to kiss or cuddle you all the time.
They’ll be avoiding it because they’ll be afraid of the connection it may make between you. Also, I think it’s pretty clear that they aren’t touchy-feely kind of people, so it’s actually normal that they are going to avoid physical contact as much as possible.
7. Può essere necessario del tempo per costruire un legame intimo e profondo.
Don’t expect physical intimacy at the beginning of your relationship. They’ll probably delay being intimate as much as they can.
Scappano da ogni tipo di affetto, e anche l'affetto fisico rientra in questa categoria. They’ll want to take time to get to know you and they’ll never take any serious steps if they aren’t 100% sure about it.
8. Don’t expect the romantic, little things and surprises
If they don’t throw you a surprise birthday party… If they forget to buy you a gift for your anniversary… If they don’t engage you in a super romantic way… DON’T be surprised!
That is a part of their personality and they can’t change it. Odiano il romanticismo e le sorprese, quindi pensano che anche il resto del mondo li odi.
9. A volte, il loro linguaggio del corpo racconta più di loro stessi.
You should just observe their body language. Even though they won’t tell you directly how much they love you, their body language will clearly show it to you.
They’ll almost never admit how much they missed you, if you didn’t see each other for some time, but their body language will completely expose them. They can pretend they’re cold and affectionless but they can never control their body language.
10. È probabile che lottino contro le insicurezze
If a person isn’t able to show affection to people they love, if they’re afraid of PDA-ing, if they always run from romance, it may all be clear signs that they’re struggling with insecurities.
Il fatto è che dubitano di loro stessi, non del vostro amore.
11. Le serate di coppia possono diventare noiose
This is something you can have control over, but only in the short term. Eventually, you’ll get tired of always planning your dates and keeping the spark alive by yourself.
You’ll stop doing it and just like that, your date nights will be boring as hell. Almeno per voi, l'altra parte li considererà una zona di comfort.
12. You’ll need to be patient and show understanding
If you love your partner, you’ll need to be patient. You don’t want to risk losing them because your relationship lacks affection.
You aren’t okay with it, of course, but somehow you simply feel that they sincerely love you. Poi, date tempo al vostro SO e lasciate che capisca che deve essere più affettuoso con se stesso.
13. Per loro, meno è e sarà sempre meglio.
Some people agree that less is more but when it comes to affection and showing love, I think most of us would agree that it’s not true.
Tutti vorremmo essere ricoperti di affetto dai nostri cari. In fondo, lo consideriamo tutti una prova d'amore. With a non affectionate person, less will always be more because it’s how they used to be and it’ll be hard for them to change it.
Come comportarsi con un partner non affettuoso?
If you listen to these dating advice tips, it’ll be easier for you to cope with the lack of affection in your relationship. It also may help you find a way to make your partner be more affectionate.
1. Cercate di capire perché il vostro partner è così freddo
If your partner behaves distant and cold, there must be a reason behind that kind of behavior. Either something is really bothering them or they simply aren’t that into you.
Qualunque sia il motivo, è necessario scoprirlo. And the sooner you find it out, the sooner you’ll be able to deal with it and work on overcoming it together with your significant other.
2. Incoraggiarli a essere più affettuosi
Maybe your partner isn’t even aware that their lack of affection really bothers you that much. If you don’t want to admit it to them, then try to do something that would encourage them to be more affectionate towards you.
3. Ammettete loro quanto vi dà fastidio
One thing you should always cultivate when it comes to your love life is honest and open communication with your other half. That’s the only way you’ll elude some issues and problems that may put your relationship in danger.
Siate onesti e ditelo direttamente; ‘I’m not okay with the fact you never touch me. I hate that we can never hold hands while walking together. I want you to be more affectionate. I need you to start showing love more often.’
If they continue to behave the same way, it’ll be a clear sign for you of how little they actually care for you. And that’s how you’ll know whether you should stay and fight for them or turn your back on them and simply walk away.
4. Don’t let it affect your self-esteem
So che ha conseguenze negative sulla vostra salute mentale e sulla vostra autostima. Tuttavia, non dovete permetterlo a nessun costo.
Mantenete alta la fiducia in voi stessi. In the end, if your partner isn’t affectionate, it doesn’t mean you’re the problem. Remember, it’s up to them, not up to you and you shouldn’t feel bad about it.
5. Never judge your partner’s feelings based on that
Just because your partner doesn’t know how to show their emotions, it doesn’t mean they don‘t have them. Give your SO time and you’ll see that they will find a way to show you how they feel about you.
Alcune persone sono un po' fredde e semplicemente odiano il romanticismo. However, it doesn’t mean they don’t know how to love. In fact, those people may love you the hardest, without ever showing it to you.
6. Don’t stop being affectionate towards them, no matter what
You just need to try to understand that we’re all different human beings. Some of us like ballads and romantic fiction and then there are others who hate those kinds of movies more than anything else.
Some of us like to show our partners how much we love them on a daily basis and some of us think they shouldn’t try that hard.
Just because your partner isn’t affectionate, it doesn’t mean you should stop being affectionate towards them. Because in that case, your relationship is sure to end.
Una relazione può sopravvivere senza affetto?
To be honest, it’s possible but mostly in cases where both partners are non affectionate people. However, the problem arises when a touchy-feely person gets involved with a non affectionate partner.
Tutto ciò che vogliono e sperano dal loro partner è fuori dalla loro zona di comfort per l'altra parte. Holding hands and similar ways of PDA-ing are simply forbidden and even if they’ll never admit it, the other side will never come to terms with it.
Sooner or later, they’ll understand that they can’t be with someone who dislikes physical affection and one day, they’ll just decide to abbandonare quella relazione.
Cosa causa la mancanza di affetto?
If we’re talking about a relationship, lack of affection can cause so many big and small things. If one partner stops loving the other one, they also stop showing that love, which means they stop showing affection.
Inoltre, in un relazione a lungo termine, the couple may be bored or they simply will get enough of each other and that’s when the affection dies.
That’s why relationship coaches always emphasize how important it is to keep the spark alive. And the only way to keep it burning is by showing affection.
On the other hand, if we’re talking about people, lack of affection may occur if the person is struggling with some issues. Especially when they’re struggling with mental health issues.
They become obsessed with their problems and somehow, they manage to forget about their partner. And that’s why open communication is one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship. Partners need to be honest with each other and they need to be free to talk with each other about every single thing.
Parole finali
I know, dating a non affectionate person is beyond difficult. Especially if you’ve already fallen hard for that person.
You can’t leave them because of the emotions you have for them but you also can’t believe in their love because they simply don’t show it. You can’t keep trusting their words that are never backed by their actions.
It’s especially difficult being in a relationship with a non affectionate man if you’re a touchy-feely kind of person. However, that is no reason to leave them and say goodbye to someone you love.
Dovete essere pazienti e continuare a sperare che un giorno il ghiaccio inizi a sciogliersi. Che un giorno il vostro partner cambierà e diventerà più affettuoso.
