So, I was randomly scrolling through Facebook the other day and I saw something that got me a little worked up. It’s a meme that’s circulating about the breaking news that Jay-Z has admitted to being unfaithful to Beyonce.“If Beyonce can get cheated on, there’s no hope for the rest of us.” Um. Wait. Hold up just a freakin minute here random meme on Facebook. Are you really trying to say that Jay-Z’s decision to cheat on Queen B is somehow about the Queen herself? No. NO. NOOOOO. Jay fucking Z cheating on Beyonce has absolutely NOTHING to do with Beyonce and everything to do with Jay-Z. And the only thing Bey did, was marry a cheater.
Let me tell you something right now: B being cheated on is NOT what spells bad news for the rest of us. The fact that so many people believe that it does is the real devil at work here. I get it. Beyonce is flawless, but you know what she is not? New to Jay-Z. And you know what else? She is probably not flawless either. She may be fucking fabulous, all day every day, no doubt she is, but unfortunately, as long as there are some men that can have it all—and still want more, still be unsatisfied with themselves, and still need someone to actively make them feel wanted and validated—that doesn’t matter.
Men who cheat are insecure, and when they aren’t getting what they ‘need’ from their partners, they look for someone else to reassure them and stroke their ego. That’s not about Beyonce. That’s about who Jay-Z sees when he looks in the mirror and whether or not he likes what he’s looking at.
This notion in society these days that we as women are somehow responsible for the actions of the men around us is completely baffling and it is running deep. Deep. We’ve got highschool girls expected to hide their shoulders and adhere to antiquated dress codes in order that they might not accidentally incite the interest of the poor boy behind them in class who just can’t pay attention because there are sexy shoulders distracting him all over the place. We’ve got an epidemic of men pushing boundaries and women obliging them so as to ‘not make a fuss’, with the recent #metoo movement barely even beginning to expose a truth we as women learn the first time a man makes us feel uncomfortable in a way we can’t explain.
And now… we have got to somehow shoulder the blame that Jay-Z can’t keep it in his pants and Beyonce is only human. Fuck that. She is a woman. A woman who loves her man, a mother who wants the father of her children. A beauty, an icon, a role model… and if we can’t look up to her to keep her man satisfied than how can we ever have any hope for ourselves?
I’m sorry to say it ladies, but, if we keep letting men trick us into blaming ourselves for their transgressions, we will lose ourselves. I am not responsible for the choices, good or bad, that my partner makes. Life gets hard sometimes and relationships take work, it is not a woman’s duty to do all of that work. And it is not a man’s prerogative to step out of the relationship when life gets real and your love isn’t new anymore.
by Tia Grace
Friday 26th of January 2018
That's hittin the nail right on the head, there Sassy. Right on!