Let me start this letter by saying I was never the marrying kind but thank you for making me change my perspective about that. You taught me that marriage doesn’t have to limit you and put you in a cage. You taught me that love is about being yourself, being free but committed.
I never felt anything similar to what we have now. I told you that I loved before. But those were never true loves; they can never compare to you. Those were loves that restrain, that manipulate and spread toxic poisons throughout the body. Those were loves that made me afraid to believe in love, to believe in happily ever after. Thank you for making me feel safe enough to believe again.
You know I’ve always been independent. I was raised that way. I became a self-sufficient woman who is more than capable of doing things on her own. It was my upbringing and the circumstances of past relationships that taught me that the only one I can depend on is myself. And even though I still believe that is true, it’s nice to have you to lean on from time to time.
I remember the first time you wanted to change a broken light bulb in my apartment. I made this entire drama out of it. I told you that I was more than capable of changing it myself. I exaggerated. I know that now. I was lucky you saw what I was aiming at. You laughed and told me you knew that, but you were happy to do some things for me and that I should let you, so I did.
It’s nice to be taken care of by someone like you. But it took me a great while to get there. To let my guard down. To let you see me, the vulnerable me, the me behind the smile. It was so scary because I am used to keeping my guard up and acting tough even when I don’t feel that.
With you, I don’t have to act. I don’t have to pretend something I am not. I am more me when I am with you then when I am alone. There is something inside of you that breathes trust, something that gives me faith that you and I can make it through anything. Sometimes I wonder what I was so scared of.
I guess I saw the perks of being alone. I was happier alone than in any of my past relationships. I have this restless spirit everybody wanted to tame. I have the soul of a gypsy that lives to travel, dream and discover. You fell in love with that adventurous part of me. You never asked me to change. You joined me in some adventures and you let me have some of my own making, sure that I would always have a home with you.
I knew you were the one for me because you made me want to stay without even trying.
Every time I was away, I wished you could see and experience those new things with me. And no matter how great it all was, I would be missing you the entire time.
I had no roots and you made me want to have some. Without forcing me. Without threatening my spirit and my independence.
That’s how things are supposed to be when you find your forever person—he doesn’t limit you. He doesn’t restrain or cage you. He walks or runs by your side until you are ready to put down some roots of your own.
I hope as we are entering this new married chapter of our lives that things won’t change much. That we will be as we are now. The team that works on things together but still two separate and independent individuals who like taking care of each other. I hope we will always have this energy to work on things, to make bad times better and to make good times more valuable and happier.
Thank you for being my forever person. Thank you for showing me that love doesn’t jeopardize my independence. Thank you for showing me that the love I feel for you doesn’t exclude the love I feel for myself. It reinforces it.