Shutting down a narcissist usually seems like mission impossible. Nevertheless, trust me that it can be done effectively.
All narcissists have a similar pattern of behavior and consequently, there are some comebacks that work like a charm on almost every single narcissist out there. Here are 6 of the most effective ones.
1. “You are the one who is wrong”
One of the traits all narcissists share is that they are convinced they are always right, despite the obvious truth and no matter the circumstances. Even when a narcissist is aware that he is not right, he will always try hard to persuade his victim into seeing things his way.
However, this is when you have to tell your abuser that he can’t change your mind about things and that he might as well stop trying. You have your own worldviews and attitudes and he can never make you believe in something that is not true. Show him that there are different points of view on every possible situation, that you simply disagree with his and that there is nothing he can do about it.
2. “I’m not to blame”
A narcissist will always try to make his victim look like the bad guy. He will do his best to convince you that you are responsible for everything going wrong in your relationship; even when he admits that he is guilty, he’ll twist reality by telling you that you made him do or say something he shouldn’t have. Either way, he wants you to think that you are always to blame, one way or another.
That is why you have to show your narcissist that you are not ready to take full responsibility for everything bad in your relationship. You have to be brave enough to call him out on his actions and let him know that he didn’t manage to get inside your head and make you feel guilty.
3. “I am not crazy”
Every narcissist will try to play with his victim, by trying to make them believe that their vision of reality is not right. He will try to make you question your own sanity, telling you that things are not the way you see them, that something didn’t go down the way it did, that you are imagining things or that you are not sane for feeling something.
You are the one who has to tell your abuser that you are on to him; you see what he is trying to do but he will not succeed in doing so. You are not the crazy one and he’ll never manage to make you believe that.
4. “I am not overly emotional”
When you are arguing with a narcissistic person, they will always try to play the emotions card. You are the one who is overreacting and exaggerating and the one who lets your feelings take over you.
Even though there isn’t anything bad about this, a narcissist is telling you these things to prove to you that you are the weak one and the one who doesn’t see things clearly. So, you have to tell him that you are not overly emotional, that you are assertive and that he has no right to talk about your emotional state.
5. “You can’t control me”
Every narcissist’s final goal when it comes to his victims is to have complete control over them. He wants to control every aspect of your life, including your thoughts and feelings.
However, when you feel that your narcissist is trying to gain control over you, you need to stop him right there. You need to remind him that you are a strong individual with your own thoughts, desires and feelings and that he can’t cage you in any way. You need to show him that he will never be able to change the essence of who you are, so he might as well stop trying.
6. “I’ve had enough”
Whenever you are arguing with someone or find yourself in the middle of an uncomfortable situation, remember that you always have the right to turn your back on this person and walk away with dignity. Don’t allow anyone to drag you into a fight you don’t want to partake in.
Leaving the situation doesn’t make you weak or a loser and it definitely doesn’t mean that the other person is right. It just means that you are choosing your mental peace over proving someone wrong.
A teacher. A dreamer. A writer. A woman who’s been through all of the things you are going through. A woman who’s learned on her mistakes and whose advice you can trust. A woman who is trying to find her place under the stars. A woman just like you.