Every person goes through a heartbreak at least once in their lives but the difference is how each of us overcomes it. Some people cry and fall into depression while others do crazy things that help them get over a breakup much faster. But no matter who is guilty of ending a relationship, it is a fact that both sides will suffer. Some will suffer longer and more intensely and others, who loved less, will suffer only while they think about it. I still remember my first heartbreak—I was very young and I thought that I will never find another man who will love me the way my ex did.

I thought he was the best, the most charming, the most beautiful and a man with the biggest heart of them all. But I was wrong. I was just a victim of a man who led me on as long as he was getting what he wanted. When he had had enough of me, he just abandoned me like he was leaving nothing. And I was left with all my love and a bunch of mixed emotions inside me that I didn’t know what to do with. I thought that it was the end of my life and that I will never be able to love again. I was so broken and disoriented and my life didn’t make sense. But now, when I think about myself at that time, I just smile.

And you know why? Because I realized it was just life and that I simply had to learn some lessons to make me stronger and ready for something serious. And I am grateful to my life for showing me the bad things so I can cherish the good ones more. And here are the lessons I learned and that I will never forget.

1. I learned it wasn’t my fault

I was thinking to myself that I was the one who blew up things and that because of them, my ex left me. But I was wrong all the time because I couldn’t affect his decisions at all. I gave myself all in to a relationship that was doomed from the start because it was grounded on the wrong things. After some time, I saw that the breakup wasn’t my fault and that I can be the best version of myself, but for the wrong guy, it simply won’t be enough. And only then I was able to accept what happened and live in peace.

2. I learned that I shouldn’t believe all they say

Just because a guy was all sweet and caring doesn’t mean that he wished me all the best. There are so many guys who know good ways to deceive girls who love them and sooner or later, they show their real faces. They date a girl until they get what they want, but some of them are more cruel than that. They abuse their partner in all possible ways, knowing that she loves them and that she won’t do anything about that. Unfortunately, I learned that the hard way, but at least I learned it. Now, I don’t trust any guy until he shows me that he truly loves me with his actions.

3. Heartbreak is not the most painful experience

If you are anything like me, you probably think that there is no bigger pain than heartbreak. But after you live a little bit more, you will see that there are things like losing your family members and friends, and that can hurt more than a broken heart. Because once you get your heart broken, you can recover from that, but when you lose a family member, you can’t bring them back to your life anymore.

4. I am beautiful just the way I am

We all have some imperfections that we would want to change, but the most important thing is to accept yourself just the way you are. I thought that my ex left me because he found someone more beautiful than me, but in the end, I realized that we weren’t compatible and he saw that first. He realized that we will never make it and he just left. And I am not angry that he left me, but I am angry about the way he did it. When you spend so much time with someone, you can at least come with a sincere heart and tell them that there is nothing more left to fight for.

5. I learned to always stick to my friends

The worst mistake I made when I was engaged in a love relationship was that I totally neglected my friends when I met my partner. I spent all my time with him and I didn’t have so much contact with them. My ex was such a good manipulator and he convinced me that I don’t need anyone other than him in my life. And since I was madly in love with him, I just followed him in whatever he would say. I lost my friends once in my life, but I will never do that again over a boyfriend. If he is the right one, he will realize that they were a part of my life before he even came into it.

6. It is better to be single sometimes

When I was in a love relationship, I felt like on cloud nine and every time I was left, I tried so hard to make up with my ex. I didn’t realize that sometimes it is better to be alone than in bad company. I was so scared that I will be single all my life that I settled for less than I deserved. I didn’t want to be the only girl without a boyfriend and only the thought of that made me feel miserable. But in the end, I realized that not all people are my match and that I need to be extra careful when choosing the one who I will share all my secrets with.

7. I learned that I should always trust my gut

While I was in a relationship with my ex, I felt that something was not right but I didn’t pay attention to that. I thought it was just my mind going wild and that I was just imagining things that never happened. I was so blind to see that he had been leading me on all that time and that he did so many bad things to hurt me. At that moment, I realized that I was right when I felt that something was not right. And from that day, I always rely on my inner voice and I think twice about the things I will say or do.

8. Believe it or not, time heals everything

When I got my heart broken, I thought that feeling will never pass. I thought I will always be a miserable and sad girl but day by day, I became better and better. I realized that if I give up on my life, nobody will be able to save me, so I started fighting for myself. There were days when I was feeling good. Then I had days when I was depressed. But on each of those days, I was doing my best to go through it all. And I succeeded. When I least expected, I met a guy who was everything that I prayed to God to give me. And at that moment, I finally realized that my happiness was in my hands the whole time. I realized that it takes time for the good things and I accepted every problem as a blessing that will make me stronger, that will make me the best version of myself.