You know that girl who seems as if she never takes the smile off her face? The girl who looks like she doesn’t have a worry on her mind, who is always relaxed and handles all of her problems with ease?

You know that girl who is always optimistic, no matter what, and who never allows the darkness to consume her?

The girl who is constantly joking around and who somehow manages to find the good in every bad situation?

She sounds almost perfect, right? In fact, I bet you would love to trade places with her. 

She looks like someone who doesn’t waste her time on overthinking, someone who can cut you out of her life in a matter of minutes and someone who is completely indifferent toward everything going on around her. 

Well, guess what? I’m that girl. And I’m here to tell you that things are nowhere near what they seem to be.

You see, the truth is that I’m going through a lot—I just don’t allow it to be seen.

The truth is that I’m heartbroken, that I have more than one problem and that just like you, sometimes I don’t know whether I will make it or not. 

It’s not that I’m suppressing my negative emotions or ignoring my pain, hoping that it will go away.

I’m not sweeping my baggage under the carpet—I’m simply not showing it to anyone who crosses my path.

You might call me guarded or overly careful when it comes to people but according to my experiences, you get nothing by showing everyone how you feel.

No, the world won’t help you deal with your troubles and they won’t give you a hand when you’re going through hardships—they’ll just see them as weaknesses and use everything they know against you.

So, what’s the point of crying out loud and constantly complaining? What’s the point of playing the victim and expecting other people’s sympathy?

Will it magically chase away my demons, heal my past traumas and repair my crushed heart? It won’t, will it now?

Don’t get me wrong—it’s not that I’m trying to represent my life as ideal.

I’m not ashamed of my emotional load and I’m not pretending to be better than you; I just have a hard time sharing my deepest emotions and opening up completely. 

However, just because I don’t let anyone see my pain, it doesn’t mean I’m indestructible.

It doesn’t make me stronger than the rest and it doesn’t make my heart unbreakable. 

Just because you don’t notice the burden I’m carrying around, it doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Just because I don’t talk about everything that’s been weighing me down, it doesn’t make it easy. 

Just because you know nothing about my break-ups, family matters or health problems, it doesn’t mean my life is perfect.

Just because I don’t keep on posting pathetic motivational messages or sad quotes all over my social media profiles, it doesn’t mean nothing touches me.

Just because I don’t go around telling people about my mental issues and don’t treat them as some kind of a trend of modern society, it doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with depression and anxiety.

Just because I laugh away my troubles, it doesn’t mean I don’t cry myself to sleep. 

Just because I managed to win my battles, it doesn’t make the windmills easy to fight. Just because I see my struggles as blessings, it doesn’t mean they didn’t hit me. 

Just because you don’t see my sad story, it doesn’t make it fake or non-existent.

Just because you never saw me break, it doesn’t mean I’m a rock which is impossible to harm. 

All of you notice nothing besides my happy moments and my triumphs. Nevertheless, have you ever wondered how much effort and sacrifices there are behind my every success? 

So please, think about all of this the next time you envy or judge me or the next time you wish to trade places with me.

Think about all the tears which are hidden behind that smile you see, about all the sacrifices laying behind every achievement and all of the invisible load I carry on my back.

And I’m not the only one going through life like this. There exist people who don’t like being the center of attention, who don’t enjoy drama and who prefer jumping over their obstacles on their own. 

It doesn’t matter whether someone is going through a tough break-up, whether they are or their family member is sick, if they have a work-related crisis or are dealing with something you know nothing about and is beyond your comprehension, the bottom line is the same—they do their best to work things out without having to ask for anyone’s help. 

Think about that the next time you hurt me, convinced that it will cause no damage to me.

The next time you treat me like a fool, the next time you run away from me at the first glance of trouble in my life and the next time you forget I’m only a human made of flesh and blood.

I’m just begging you to have this one thing in mind: everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. And we all deal with life’s circumstances in a different way.

After all, how many times have you hidden your tears from the rest of the world? How many times have you said that everything is in perfect order, when it clearly wasn’t?

So, just because someone doesn’t go around crying about everything bad they experienced, don’t see it as a sign that their life is going smoothly because I assure you it’s not; nobody’s life does.

In fact, there is a possibility that this person has it way worse than you. 

Just Because I Carry My Load Well, It Doesn’t Mean It’s Not Heavy