Dear You,

Perhaps you don’t have a name in this text, but if you find yourself to be one of those girls who just can’t stop blaming herself for all the wrongs she went through in her life, then this letter is for you.

And you need to read it. You need to read it because there are some things I need to tell you since you obviously aren’t willing to accept them on your own.

So, you still lay awake and night and wonder what is it that you do wrong? What is it that you do that makes other people hurt you or walk away from as if you mean nothing to them?

Why can’t you make them stay? You still wonder how come out of all people in your life, you’re only one that is never good enough?

I need you to stop doing this to yourself. I need you to stop being so mean to yourself and I need you to stop blaming yourself for everything you’ve been through.

Life is full of ups and downs and shit happens to everyone, but what determines you is how you deal with it. And frankly speaking, you should stop beating yourself up for the things you couldn’t and can’t change.

It’s not true that you could’ve done things differently. It’s not true that you could’ve been a better person or that you should’ve sacrificed yourself more.

You already gave your best to others and they took it for granted. They used your kindness when they needed it and once they healed, they left you.

But leaving is something that runs through their veins and nothing you did was going to make them stay. They didn’t enter your life to stay forever; they came because God sent them to teach you a lesson.

It’s time for you to understand what that lesson was.

Okay, friends that should’ve stuck around left. The boy who should’ve seen you and should’ve stayed, didn’t. Someone told you how you’re not good enough.

You can’t reach the expectations others have for you. So what? None of this means that something is wrong with you. It’s just that you had that bad luck to meet too many toxic people in your life.

But there isn’t anything wrong with you. And you need to stick this in your head once and forever.

I pray you quit overthinking, replaying failed scenarios, feeding self-doubt and seeing the good in everyone but yourself. You deserve more.

Stop blaming yourself and stop recalling old memories that are painful. Stop beating yourself up because of the things that happened in the past.

Stop blaming yourself for the things you’re not guilty of.  And most importantly, stop tearing your self-esteem down.

You are worth much more than you think. And you’re better than you allow yourself to believe. And there is much more to life than you can wrap your mind around.

I’m sorry that you’re hurt. I’m sorry that they broke you. But they didn’t get the best of you. Keep that in mind. Nobody stole your sparkle.

Nobody took your future from you. And nobody swiped off the kindness of your personality. You’re still able to do bright things in the future.

You still have the time in this world to be the person you always wanted to be, but it’s time to start building yourself up now. It’s time to stop beating yourself up, too.

Forgive people who hurt you for doing so. And then put them out of your life forever. Thank them for the lessons they  taught you and remember them forever.

But don’t let them haunt you forever. May that be something that builds you up and makes you stronger—not something that destroys you.

Don’t allow it all to become something that keeps you awake at night or something that tears your good mood down each time you remember it.

Now is the time to become the owner of your life. Now is the time to stop giving so much power over yourself to the wrong people.

Now it’s time to show them, the world and yourself, what you’re made of.

Be strong and forgive yourself. Be strong and move on. It’s time for you to be happy again.

Thank your heart for enduring so much pain and still continuing to beat. And promise your heart to never put it through the same hell again.

Accept that you can’t control what happens in your life, but you can control how it affects you. Accept that you can’t control how people treat you, but you can determine their places in your life based on the way they treat you.

And always remember that you will never be good enough for wrong people, but you’ll be more than enough for the right ones.

I also learned it the hard way,

The girl who has already been there.