1. You feel as if you are connected on a deeper level
It’s quite normal to have that instant connection with someone, the chemistry that makes you feel bonded with that person.
It’s almost like you knew them in a different lifetime.
But that connection can be deceiving.
There is a huge difference between lust and love, so make sure you don’t confuse the two.
The things you feel for them may not be real love.
2. Your wounded self influences who you are attracted to
It’s the part of you that makes you think that you need the other person to complete you and make you happy.
Until you change that belief, you are running a great risk of choosing men who are wrong for you.
Before starting a relationship with someone, you need to work on the one you have with yourself.
You have to mend your wounds and learn to love and respect yourself and make yourself happy.
No one else can do it for you. Once you manage to do that you’ll be able to establish standards and choose more wisely.
3. You believe you can help them change
There are a lot of things that make a man feel that he is not ready for a relationship.
He has family problems, work issues, emotional baggage, etc. and you believe you can do something to help him change that and the least you can do is wait until he is ready.
Wrong. There is nothing you can do to help him.
Firstly, his problems might be real or they might be made up.
Secondly, if they are real, they are not your responsibility. As it’s your job to fix yourself so it’s theirs to fix themselves.
A person changes only if they feel the need to change and there is nothing you can do about it.
4. He made you believe that he is great and you should be happy to have him
This is a major red flag and you are probably dealing with someone manipulative and narcissistic.
Those types of people will convince you that they are Godsent and that you should be grateful because they are in your life.
What’s even worse is the way in which they achieve that effect; they do their best to lower your self-esteem and make you feel less so they can manipulate you into thinking that your life would be worthless in their absence.
Be careful and don’t allow anyone to make you feel worthless or unlovable as soon as you notice the signs, cut them out of your life for good.
5. You are influenced by other people’s opinions
When your friend or family member or a co-worker tells you for the millionth time that someone is just perfect for you—you start to believe it yourself.
Sometimes they get it right but more often than not you end up settling for less than soulmate love or in a worst-case scenario, for someone toxic who appears great in the eyes of everyone else because he turned you into the bad guy.
Trust your gut, if something feels off it’s because it’s off.
Silence all that heartfelt advice and listen to your heart and soul; nobody knows what’s best for you except you.
6. You confuse falling for someone with loving someone
Just because you are head over heels for somebody, it doesn’t mean that they are your forever person.
Being in love and loving somebody are two different terms and two different feelings.
‘Being in love’ makes you feel like you are addicted, it can grow into love but it can stay on more basic sentiments such as lust and infatuation.
Whereas ‘loving somebody’ is something extraordinary but at the same time real. It’s about making efforts and creating happiness together.
It’s loving even when everything doesn’t go as planned. It’s mutual respect and devotion.
Leah Lee – Writer. Dreamer. Adventurer. Eternal Optimist.
I am an English language and literature professor and writing came naturally alongside that. It was something I did for me until I decided to share it with the rest of the world.
I write about love, emotions, relationship issues and ways to solve them and most importantly about empowering women to become the best versions of themselves.
My inspiration comes from all that I’ve been through in life, and it was a bumpy road but full of valuable lessons. I hope that my experience will do some good to all of those who like to read my work.