Do you care about what other people think of you? Do you take the opinion of other people to heart and allow it to control your life and affect your mood?
Yes, I could say that’s wrong. Don’t allow others to have such power over you, or all that BS about how you’re a strong woman on your own and you should stop seeking validation from others to start flourishing…
But no, I’m going to be honest and say that I totally get you.
I get you because I was once struggling with that same overwhelming constant need for other people’s validation. I never had faith in myself. I never believed I was intelligent, pretty, or good enough unless someone else said it to me.
Some people say it’s a habit, but I wouldn’t agree. Habits can be easily broken – this is something way different and way more difficult to get rid of.
I can’t say I freed myself from the shackles of that constant craving for affirmation-validation, but I definitely did find a way to tame it and keep it under control.
Being fully aware of your own worth and not needing validation from anyone is definitely one of the best and most attractive qualities a woman can have.
Let’s tame our cravings for validation together through some very simple steps.
Accept yourself the way you are
The truth is that we all have some flaws and imperfections and none of us is completely perfect.
Unfortunately, very often, our flaws and those bad sides blind us and we become completely unable to see that other side of us, that better and brighter side.
In order to be completely happy and feel comfortable in your own skin, you must accept yourself just the way you are. You need to accept every part of yourself no matter how imperfect it might be.
Do whatever makes you happy
You. You. You. Everything in your life should revolve around you, and that’s why your own happiness should be more important to you than anyone else’s.
You should always listen to your heart and do things that would make you happy. You can never please all people.
There will always be some who will agree with your actions and choices, while on the other hand, there will always be those who’ll condemn them all and make you look bad.
Please stop apologizing too much
Yes, you should be strong enough to accept your mistakes and offer your sincere apologies. However, that doesn’t mean that you should apologize for everything you do.
You should never apologize for things you don’t consider wrong or for things that were beyond your control.
Use daily declarations of self-worth
One of the things that really affect your need for other people’s validation is the way you communicate with yourself.
If you never have positive self-talk, then surely it will make you think bad about yourself, and you will try to find people who’ll give you the affirmation you need.
Stop trying to explain yourself all the time
You don’t owe anyone explanations about your actions. You’re an independent woman, so start behaving like one.
Even if you make a mistake sometimes, even if your own choices and actions lead you in the wrong direction, you shouldn’t be sorry for it. If others don’t like it or don’t agree with it, it’s their problem.
Critiques, along with advice from other people, are always welcomed, but don’t give them the right to interfere too much in your life.
Your life is yours and only yours. You’re the only one who has the right to control it. Always stand behind your words, your actions, and your choices no matter how wrong they may sound to others.
Boost your confidence
I learned that people who have the need to seek validation from other people in order to feel good about themselves have huge self-esteem issues.
That’s why you always have to work on yourself. Self-awareness and self-confidence are two very powerful weapons in this fight.
That’s why you have to sharpen those tools. You have to build your core confidence if you want to win this battle and become a strong, fearless, and independent woman.
It’s time to take your eyes off your insecurities
The truth is that none of us is immune to the awful feeling of being insecure about ourselves sometimes.
It’s good to be aware of some of those not-so-perfect parts of us, but instead of hating yourself because of your insecurities and allowing them to make you a weak person, you should embrace them because, after all, they’re a part of you, too.
Sometimes it’s necessary to mute the background noise
There will always be some people who think they know better than you and who’ll want to interfere in your life or try to control it.
Think of that as unnecessary noise that you need to silence. It’s just their opinion, it doesn’t mean it’s right. Listen to your instinct.
Listen to your heart and follow its desires no matter what.
March to the beat of your own drum
Choose a path you like and stick to that choice no matter what. Stick to that path you’ve chosen for yourself even if the whole world chooses to go the other way.
This is a decision that only brave people can make. I want to warn you, it’s not going to be ideal always.
Sometimes, life will throw many lemons on your path and try to knock you on the floor and defeat you. When that happens, don’t expect others to tell you what you should do with it.
When that happens, when life starts throwing lemons at you, pick each and every one of them up, add a little bit of vodka in it, and make a freaking martini. Enjoy your cocktail with the beautiful smell of victory.