I need something strong and powerful that will rip you out of my heart and out of my thoughts. You are all that I think about, even though I don’t want to. You are the only one I care for, even though I am not supposed to.
You know I care too much for you. You know that I would do anything to make us work. You know I am always there when you need me. You know it all and you are using my feelings against me.
My feelings for you are holding me back.
Every time I even start to think I am over you and that I have finally let you go, you come back into my life and you take me back to the start.
Just a simple, effortless text from you or one brief call makes my heart pound loudly and I am again hooked on you.
My feelings for you are making me go against my better judgment.
You will crawl under my skin, you will say the nicest words and do all the right things. It will feel like you were always there, like it was always this blissful and like all the bad things never happened.
I know that history will repeat itself. You will be charming and all over me until it suits you and when it doesn’t, you will disappear like I am nothing.
I know that all too well and I am letting you use my heart as a runway from which you fly back and forth as you like.
My feelings for you are turning me into someone I don’t want to be.
I am more than capable of making myself happy, I am self-sufficient and I am a complete person but when it comes to you, all that I am seems to blur.
I become a pale copy of myself. I start relying on you to make me happy, I keep chasing you, I keep putting you before me and I am wasting away day by day.
I have to find a way to overcome the codependency I developed in this thing I have with you. I can’t allow myself to fall deeper into this mess.
I am not the woman I was nor the woman I want to be because I feel so much for you. This love is making me into someone weak and I don’t like it at all.
My feelings for you are making me lose myself.
I crave you so much that I am lost in you. I don’t know who I am anymore because I put my life on hold and all I can think about is you.
It’s like my life is taking place without me. I am watching it from afar and I lost every sense of control I had. I forgot about my goals, interests, and dreams and all I know is you.
My feelings for you are messing up my life.
It’s time I put a stop to it.
I don’t know how exactly but I have to find myself again. I have to live my own life and love myself again. Because this, whatever it is, is not healthy and it’s not making me happy.
I have to unchain myself from you. I will fail in love and life if I stay by your side. It’s impossible to build anything with someone like you. You are a broken man and you keep breaking me because of it.
I have to stop welcoming you into my life because I know all you will bring is tears. I have to forget what I want and what I feel and remember what I deserve.
And I sure as hell deserve something better than this.