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Chasing You Makes Me Feel Like S**t

Chasing You Makes Me Feel Like S**t

I’m done. You make me feel like shit. Stalking you on social networks and carefully watching every move you make, hoping that it involves me, has just become exhausting and frankly, I don’t think you’re worth it.

I’m done feeling like shit because of you. I’m done being insecure because of your indifference and stalling.

It hurts how you don’t notice me. You do only when you want to, when it’s convenient for you because you probably have nothing better to do.

You know how many times I’ve dressed nicely to impress you? How many times I’ve been hopelessly stuck beside you, waiting for you to give me a compliment?

I feel like an idiot. Why have you made me seek your approval for a moment when you’ll notice me?

I wish you’d told me right from the start that there would never be anything between us, not in a million years. But you didn’t do that. You chose a less painful scenario for you and a devastating one for me.

You kept me in reserve. You didn’t have the guts to tell me that you were not interested. So you strung me along for so long. You gave me attention when you wanted to.

Sadly, that was enough for me to stay. Those little moments would take me right back into a crazy dream of hoping to be with you.

Chasing you is a 24/7 job and I’m quitting.

It’s a never-ending adventure. I never know what is going to happen, whether you are going to notice me or if are you going to walk right by me like you don’t give a damn.

Right at the moment when I feel that we’ve made progress, that finally you’re going to take my hand and kiss me, you do something totally different. You walk by me, you ignore me. And this goes around in circles.

Your mixed messages and your hot and cold behavior has sucked me dry. I have no energy left to keep going back to you. I’m done.

You’re destroying my confidence because obviously there is someone else you’re interested in. Just like I’m chasing you, you’re chasing her.

When you’re cold with me, she is interested in you and when you’re interested in me, she has ignored you. She does the same thing you do to me.

And you’re suffering because of it but you don’t see that you’re the reason for another person’s pain. There is no other explanation.

Otherwise, you would be happy that someone had shown that kind of interest in you. It would flatter you that a girl, any girl, wanted to be with you. But this way, you don’t care, not one bit, but at the same time you won’t let me go.

How selfish can you be?

I’ve been there for you when you needed me to be. I would spend the night with you but then I wouldn’t see you for weeks. We would go out, but only when I asked you to. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t lift a finger to be with me, and for me, that is not love, that is torture.

I feel like shit in this ‘relationship’ we have because your ego is never hurt. You’re not the one who sends texts and gets an answer every few hours. You’re not the one who sends a good morning text and gets nothing back.

I feel like shit because you won’t tell me what you want. What if all of this has been in vain? What if all of my efforts and the love and time I’ve invested in you were for nothing? Because you don’t love and you never had any intention of loving me.

No one will give that time back to me. No one will heal me or tell me it’s going to get better.

Chasing you makes me feel like shit and I’m done. It just hurts too much.