Skip to Content

If I Am Not Going To Be Your First Choice, Don’t Bother ‘Choosing’ Me At All

If I Am Not Going To Be Your First Choice, Don’t Bother ‘Choosing’ Me At All

Is there anything else worse in this world than being just an option?

Does it get any worse than knowing you’re not someone’s first choice, that you come second or third or who knows which one on the list to the person you keep putting as your priority?

Let me enlighten you— it’s the worst feeling in the world.

Tell me, would you accept being the second one? Would you be happy or satisfied in life knowing that you’re just someone’s option?

No, of course you wouldn’t.

Because not being a priority of the person you love and keep on a pedestal is simply gut-wrecking. It hurts. And it makes you wonder why you aren’t good enough, what it is that you’re missing to not come first on the list.

Honestly, I don’t want to feel like this ever again in my life.

sad woman sitting on the couch

Once in my life, I have settled for less than I deserve. Once in my life, I’ve allowed the man I love to treat me like a backup plan.

Once, I’ve allowed myself to go above and beyond for a man who refused to make me a priority. Once and never again, I promise.

Real men don’t play games, you know.

They don’t make promises they don’t intend to keep. They don’t engage in relationships with women they’re not serious about and they most definitely don’t lead women to believe that they are loved and important and then refuse to make them their first choice.

It took me a while to realize that coming first to the person who loves you is the purest sign of love there is.

It’s not flowers and roses, hugs and kisses, breakfast in bed or anything else except constantly being chosen over everything else that makes you know you’re loved.

worried woman thinking

Choosing to commit to a single woman and brushing off all the rest is worth the risk. To be honest, it’s not a risk, it’s an obligation you have toward the idea of love.

If you’re going to love then have the decency to do it right. If you’re going to respect your feelings and the feelings of the person you love then you make sure they come first, you make sure they come before and above everyone else.

It is indeed as simple as this.

I’ve had my fair share of lessons I learned and I know better than to ever settle for less in love and life.

No matter what you think or anyone else thinks, I know I’m worthy. I know I’m good enough.

I know I deserve to be a priority, to come first, to be someone’s first choice.

I might love you to the moon and back. I might want you so much that I need you more than the air I breathe.

I might care for you more than I care for myself and I can look forward to you more than I’ve looked forward to anyone else in my life and I still won’t be just an option to you.

lonely woman sitting near the window

If I am not going to be your first choice, don’t bother choosing me at all. Walk away from me.

Save us both the constant fight and me asking you for something you aren’t ready to give.

I’m the type of woman who goes all in. I expect a lot only because I’m ready to give a lot as well.

I’m ready to love you with all my heart. I’m ready to commit and I’m ready to go above and beyond for us.

But I’m ready to do this only if I see that you’re willing to do the same.

I don’t want to be bending over backward for someone who isn’t ready to make me his first choice.

Don’t bother giving me just crumbs of your affections because I won’t have it.

I’m either your first choice or nothing. The decision is yours.

If I Am Not Going To Be Your First Choice, Don’t Bother ‘Choosing’ Me At All