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140+ Mean Pick-Up Lines That Are Both Insulting And Hilarious

140+ Mean Pick-Up Lines That Are Both Insulting And Hilarious

Funny pick-up lines certainly do the trick, but let’s try a different approach. Here are some mean pick-up lines to help you see how good of a comeback the other person can think of!

Being cheesy is so last year. Insulting pick-up lines will show who can think on the spot and burn you back! The chat-up lines I’ve prepared are just the right mix of mean and corny to make them LOL.

Some people desire to be challenged word-wise, so why not give them the satisfaction?

Here are the best pick-up lines that are just hilarious enough to score you some points when those cheesy pick-up lines fail to deliver!

See also: Conversation Games: 15 Games To Help You Break The Ice

Hilariously Mean Pick-Up Lines

1. My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can’t hold it in.

2. Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.

3. Honestly, I’m into necrophilia. Wanna come home and play dead?

4. Is that a discharge in your underwear, or are you just happy to see me?

5. I dreamt about you. You died.

6. Are you ice cream? Because your face looks like rocky road.

7. I would ask you if you are tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don’t do any running.

8. Are you human? Just making sure.

9. Hey, how much?

10. Are you the future? Because you’re looking hopeless and bleak.

11. For a fatty, you don’t seem to sweat much.

12. They all say I’m a pussy. But then again, we are what we eat.

13. Are you a motorcycle? Because I’d like to ride you all day, and then sell you for a newer model.

14. My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren’t conventionally attractive.

15. Did you just fart? Because you blew me away!

16. Are you free tonight, or are you going to cost me?

17. Are you a mosquito? Because you’re so annoying!

18. Are you poop? Because even when you’re far away, I can smell you.

19. How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.

20. Are you a fire alarm? Because you are really loud and annoying!

21. Are you an alarm clock? Because I want to kill you.

22. You’re the thot that counts!

23. Are you a snack? Because everyone eats you for fun.

24. You remind me of my brother/sister.

25. Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.

26. Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go and dance so I can talk to your friend?

27. Hey, you dropped something. My standards.

28. Wow, you have the chin of Superman. I bet you could take a serious punch.

29. My feelings of love for you are like the stars in the sky. They’re probably long dead.

30. You look a lot like my next victim.

31. Did you know that a pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes? I bet I can make yours last longer.

32. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I smell like your mom/dad?

33. You owe me a drink! You’re so ugly I dropped mine the moment I saw you.

34. Are you pi? Because you’re being irrational and this conversation is going in circles.

35. Are you a tax collector? Because I’m gonna avoid you at all costs!

36. Much as I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.

37. As long as I have a face, you’ll always have a place to sit.

38. I’d drink your bathwater.

39. This must be puppy love I’m feeling towards you! You remind me of my dear dog.

See also: Break-Up Messages: 125 Lines To Give You A Sense Of Closure

Rude And Outrageous Chat-Up Lines

1. Are you garbage? Because I want to take you out.

2. The more I drink, the more beautiful you become. Cheers!

3. Do you like sausages? Because you’re the wurst!

4. Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

5. I just pooped in my bed. Can I sleep in yours?

6. Get on your knees and smile like a doughnut!

7. I want to tickle your belly button. From the inside, of course.

8. Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 93 million miles away from me.

9. You may not be Jesus, but I’d still nail the heck out of you.

10. My love for you is like cancer, it just keeps growing and growing.

11. There will only be 7 planets after I destroy Uranus.

12. How do you like your eggs in the morning: scrambled, fried, or fertilized?

13. Are you a mirror? Because I die a little inside whenever I look at you.

14. I think I saw you on TV. Oh yeah, it was on animal planet.

15. Are you a shrimp? Because I don’t need your head. All I want is your body.

16. How are you not cold? You’ve been naked in my mind this whole time.

17. You’re so fine that I wouldn’t care if you were dead or alive!

18. Sit on my face and I’ll guess your weight.

19. If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.

20. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? It must have, considering that you clearly landed on your face.

21. You smell just like my mom, want to grab a drink?

22. Did you fall from heaven? Because it looks like you landed on your face.

23. Let’s play the Pinocchio game. You sit on my face, and I’ll tell you a lie.

24. Are you a tumor? Because you grow on me fast. I want to take you out now or die trying.

25. Are you constipated? Because you are so full of sh*t!

26. Since all the hot ones are already taken, this is going to be your lucky night!

27. Come with me if you want to live!

28. Did you fall from heaven? Because your face is messed up.

29. I hope your knees aren’t dirty because I just cleaned my floor.

30. You look like a hobo. You can live in my heart if you want.

31. You’re as rude as a trespasser! You didn’t even ask permission when entering my heart and thoughts.

32. Damn! You’re almost as hot as my sister/brother.

33. Are you as good as everyone says you are? I’m just curious.

34. You’re kind of ugly and fat. Lucky for you, I’m into those things.

35. Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.

36. If you were a booger, I’d definitely pick you.

37. Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

38. Are you a piece of trash? Because as someone who cares deeply about the environment, I am obligated to pick you up.

39. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because your pants are big enough to fit one.

40. You may not be good-looking, but I still like you.

See also: 146 Short Girl Quotes & Short Girls Problems That Will Make You LOL

Insulting Pick-Up Lines That Will Make You Cringe

1. To be honest, you reek! Do you want to shower together?

2. Whenever I see kites flying in the sky, I think of you. Just like them, you’re only beautiful at a distance.

3. I like my partners like how I like my fast-food meals. Extra-large!

4. Sit on my face, and I’ll eat my way to your heart.

5. I bet your muffled screams are as cute as you.

6. Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?

7. If I was a fly, I’d be all over you. Why? Because you’re sh*t!

8. Are you a durian? Because you’re a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.

9. Didn’t I just see you on the “Most Wanted” list?

10. Your eyes are as blue as the ocean I dumped my ex’s body in.

11. Did something bad happen to you, or are you just naturally ugly?

12. If you were a comatose patient, I’d pull the plug.

13. Are you water? Because you don’t taste like anything.

14. I wish I was menstruation, so I could visit you once a month.

15. I can’t help but gravitate towards you. It must be your incredible mass that’s creating the gravitational pull.

16. I like you like my coffee. Bitter!

17. Are you the square root of -1? Because you’re imaginary.

18. I put the “std” in “stud.” The only thing I need now is “u.”

19. I’m willing to lower my standards if you go on a date with me.

20. I love you so much that If you were suddenly on fire, I’d pee on you.

21. Hold still, there’s a mosquito on your ass.

22. I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?

23. Are you cancer? Because you’re starting to grow on me.

24. Do you want to be disappointed tonight?

25. Do you like seafood? Because I’ve got plenty of crabs.

26. Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m using my hand and thinking of you.

27. Are you feeling down? Because I can feel you up.

28. You must be really sweet, seeing how all of your teeth are rotten.

29. You’re like the neighbors’ WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.

30. You’re like a low-life bandit. I’ll give you everything so please don’t hurt me.

31. Are you Ebola? Because you melt my insides.

32. I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.

33. How are you still so fat when you’ve been running in my mind for so long?

See also: 80 Wishes List: A Clear Insight Into Achieving Your Life Goals

Daring And Bold Pick-Up Lines

1. You know, the more I drink, the prettier you get.

2. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

3. What’s a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?

4. You don’t sweat much for a fat chick.

5. Are you Jamaican? Cuz Jamaican me vomit.

6. Hey baby, I like that dress, but I’d like it better if it were on a prettier girl.

7. Girl, you’re so hot my zipper is falling for you! (make her look)

8. I grew up during the sixties, with the peace and love generation. If I can’t get some love, I’d like to get a piece.

9. On my last date, we played strip poker. We stripped, and I poked her.

10. I just got out of Leavenworth. Can I steal you a drink? How about a BMW?

11. Are you a campfire? Cause you’re hot and I want s’more.

12. We’re not socks. But I think we’d make a great pair.

13. Girl, you make curves great again.

14. So we’re friends now, when do the benefits kick in?

15. I know you’re busy today, but can you add me to your to-do list?

16. Keep calm and take your pants off.

17. Are you a model, cause I want to be your Instagram boyfriend.

18. I know hello in 6 different languages, which one do you want me to tell you tomorrow?

19. “Smile if you want to sleep with me.” (and watch them try to hold back their laugh)

20. Are you an angel? Cause I’m allergic to feathers. (fake sneeze)

21. You remind me of my appendix. I don’t know you, but something inside me is saying I should take you out.

22. You have pretty eyeballs. Of course, they’d be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.

23. My love, when your eyes get sick, do you go to an ophthalmologist or a jeweler?

24. I think it’s time I tell you what people are saying behind your back. Nice ass!

25. First, I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I’ll move up to your belly button.

26. I’d like to be the flu so I could spend a couple of weeks with you in bed.

27. If I were a tractor and you were a plow, I would definitely hook up with you.

28. Hey, my name’s [insert your name here] and I can disappoint you in ways you’ve never imagined.

29. If I’m a pain in your ass, then we can just add more lubricant.

30. I think I’m bipolar. One hour I’m thinking of you and another I’m thinking of us.

See also: Smile Status: 180+ Quotes To Truly Brighten Your Day

To me, a sense of humor is a must in any type of relationship. And these mean pick-up lines are the perfect way to see who can keep up with your daring ways!

Don’t be afraid to cross a line sometimes – life’s no fun when you’re a prude.

So just have fun with these outrageously funny lines, and hopefully they help you find your equally bold match!