For years, you were the only man I wanted. You were my only desire and my only prayer.
I was convinced that I could only be happy with you and I was certain that you were the only man for me.
For years, I prayed for you come to your senses and finally see we were meant to be. I wanted you to finally choose me and I wanted the two of us to finally start living our lives together in peace.
But that didn’t happen. All along, you knew I would wait for you for as long as it took.
You knew I would always take you back with my arms open wide, no matter how much pain you caused me and no matter what you did to me. And instead of appreciating that and instead of appreciating my love for you and my devotion to you, you took me for granted.
You assumed that there was nothing you could do to make me stop loving you. And every time you saw I was losing my strength, every time you sensed I was about to walk away from you, you didn’t allow that to happen.
All of a sudden, you would turn into the man I always wanted you to be. But that never lasted long.
The moment you saw you had me again, you would go back to your old ways and you would continue treating me like shit.
And this lasted for years.
Although I never thought I would be the one to say it, for the first time ever I am begging you to let me go.
I am begging you to walk away from me, because I am not sure I would ever have the strength to do it myself.
I am begging you to stop leading me on and to stop getting my hopes up because we both know that you could never give me what I need, want or deserve.
I am begging you to leave me for good because we both know that is the only thing that will help me get over you and move on with my life.
This is me asking you to stop getting my hopes up because we both know the two of us will never be a thing. Because we could never be anything more than an almost couple and we could never have anything more than an almost relationship.
Because you will never be able to label things between us and make me your official girlfriend and I’ve had enough of being your part-time girl and I’ve had enough of being the girl you call when everyone else abandons you.
Because we both know you’ll never put any effort into me or into our relationship. Because you’ll always know you have me, no matter what.
Because it is more than obvious that you don’t think I am worthy of your efforts and there is nothing I could do about it, as much as I try.
Because we both know you’ll never put me first. Because you’ll always treat me like one of your options and because you’ll never put me at the top of your priority list.
Because there will always be someone more important to you than me and that is something I don’t want to put up with any longer.
Because we both know you’ll never give up on all those other women. Because I am tired of competing with all those other girls and because I’ve had enough of begging you to give me your love and attention.
Because I am tired of wondering what those other girls have that I don’t and because I am tired of fighting for you against all of them, when you never had to fight for me.
Please stop getting my hopes up because we both know you don’t love me, you never did and you never will.
At least not the way I love you and not the way I need to be loved. Because you’ll always be giving me your half-assed love and that is not something I want to settle for.
