Quando o seu ex-namorado lhe passa pela cabeça, o que tem acontecido com demasiada frequência ultimamente, sente-se nostálgica. Sente a falta dele e tem a certeza de que é com ele que quer estar, apesar de tudo o que aconteceu entre vocês os dois.

Well, it’s time to start doubting your own feelings when it comes to this guy. Because there is a huge possibility that you only think you miss him and that you’ve only convinced yourself you still have feelings for him.

There is a huge possibility that you actually don’t querer o seu ex de volta na sua vida, e aqui estão 6 coisas para o ajudar a compreender isso por si próprio.

1. You don’t love him—you just got used to him

A verdade é que este homem é a sua zona de conforto, da qual tem medo de sair, embora seja exatamente isso que deve fazer. Habituou-se a ele e esta relação representa algo familiar para si, apesar de toda a sua negatividade.

Pensa que ama este homem, mas na verdade ele é apenas um velho hábito que tem dificuldade em mudar. Enquanto pensa que está a desejar o seu ex, na verdade está a desejar esta sensação de familiaridade que ele lhe tem dado.

Deep down, you don’t want to get back on the dating market, and you don’t feel like letting someone new into your life. So the best possibility for you would be to come back to this guy. After all, you know that to expect from him, and you know how things would turn out this time.

Trust me on—going back to someone just because you got used to them and the sense of belonging they gave you is one of the worst things you can ever do to yourself.

2. Ele é o mesmo homem que era

Quando pensa em voltar para o seu namorado, no fundo espera que desta vez as coisas sejam diferentes. Esperas que ele mude.

But the truth is that he won’t. You need to understand that this guy is the same man he was and that the of you will have all the same differences and problems if you get back together.

Nothing has miraculously changed in your personalities and between the two of you just because you’ve taken some time apart.

Yes, it is likely that you will have a honeymoon phase when you get back together, but things will soon go back as they were. After all, you broke up for a reason, didn’t you?

3. You don’t miss him—you only miss having a boyfriend

If you’ve been in a long term relationship, you’ve gotten used to having a romantic partner. And this is what you actually miss. You miss this sense of belonging and partnership which you had while you were in a relationship.

This means that you are actually scared of your single life. What you don’t know is that this can be the time of your life if you just learn to embrace it and focus on taking the best of it.

This can be a time in which you focus on yourself instead of on your partner. A time in which you understand that you actually don’t need a man to be happy and that you are a complete person on your own.

4. Só se concentra nas belas recordações

Quando olhamos para algo em retrospetiva, tendemos a concentrar-nos nos bons momentos e a afastar as más recordações, porque são essas que queremos esquecer.

E é exatamente isso que faz quando se trata do seu ex. Esqueceu-se de todas as lágrimas que chorou por ele, e só se lembra de como ele a fazia sorrir. Esqueceu-se de todas as vezes que discutiram e só se lembra dos momentos felizes.

You focus on the beautiful memories that the two of you had together and on this guy’s qualities while you completely disregard his flaws.

Ver a sua última relação através de óculos de sol cor-de-rosa faz com que ela pareça tentadora. Vê-a melhor do que realmente foi e é natural que queira ter essa versão idealizada de volta.

5. Tem medo de se sentir só

It is natural to feel a little bit lonely and empty after you end a relationship. But that doesn’t mean that you miss or love your ex.

It just means that this feeling is unfamiliar to you, and it scares you. But what you don’t know is that being single and alone isn’t as same as being lonely.

Remember—you are more than enough for yourself. Besides, I’m sure there are other people in your life who you deeply care about besides your ex and these are exactly the people you should focus on to help you fill this void.

6. O teu ego está ferido

There are times when you don’t want to have someone back in your life because you really think they deserve to be there. Sometimes, you feel heartbroken but actually the only thing which is hurt is your ego.

E não há nada de errado em sentir-se assim.

It’s quite simple—you want to prove to yourself that you can always have this person, who was once yours, back. You want to prove to yourself that you still have an impact on this guy and that you are still important in his life.