13 coisas estranhas que os narcisistas fazem para manipular as suas vítimas
It doesn’t matter if you’ve had a relação tóxica with a narcissistic ex or you’re still involved with someone suffering from NPD – either way, you know very well that there are some behavior patterns every narcissist follows.
Sim, todos eles são pessoas individuais, mas, estranhamente, há algumas coisas estranhas que os narcisistas fazem e que são comuns a todos eles.
I’m not talking here about their individual personality traits that have nothing to do with their disorder. I’m referring to some strange things that characterize them.
Each one of these habits or actions can serve as a bulletproof sign that you’re dealing with a narcissist and can help you save yourself in time.
Esta lista definitiva de coisas estranhas que os narcisistas fazem vai um pouco mais fundo nas camadas da sua personalidade e vai para além de algumas coisas que se podem esperar de alguém assim.
Let’s get into it.
Intimidade artificial
When you meet a malignant narcissist for the first time, his goal is to get to know you better. He is not doing it because he’s genuinely interested in your life.
It’s all a part of his abuso narcísico tácticas que começam de imediato.
Na verdade, esta pessoa quer que exponha as suas vulnerabilidades. Quer conhecer todas as suas fraquezas para poder usá-las contra si mais tarde.
However, it would be too weird if he asked you deeply personal questions right away – you’d see through his intentions and his plan would fail at the first step.
That’s why he uses reverse psychology techniques on you. Instead of openly snooping around your life, he is the one who starts to confide in you first.
Once he does this, you begin to trust him more. You feel like he’s someone who will keep your secrets and won’t take advantage of you letting him in.
Desta forma, alguém com uma perturbação da personalidade narcísica cria uma intimidade artificial.
O mesmo se aplica a bombardeamento de amor. Ele finge que gosta de si mais do que qualquer outra pessoa antes dele, por isso não tem outra escolha senão dar todas essas emoções em troca.
Consequentemente, a maior parte das relações tóxicas narcísicas movem-se a uma velocidade enorme.
Before you know it, you’re already seriously involved with this person and basically, you don’t even know when and how it happened.
You feel incredibly close to your narcissist and get the impression that you’ve found your long lost soulmate.
You feel an emotional connection you’ve never felt before and that you could trust this man with your life, even though things are nowhere near that.
Identidade inventada
Another one of the weird things narcissists do is pretend to be someone they’re not. You see, deep down, every narcissistic person is perfectly aware of their true selves.
De facto, debatem-se com inseguranças e raramente aceitam as suas verdadeiras personalidades. Em vez disso, fazem tudo o que está ao seu alcance para esconder as suas imperfeições.
That’s why a narcisista inventará uma nova identidade para impressionar a sua vítima.
Ele sabe que você nunca se apaixonaria pelo homem que ele realmente é, por isso precisa de se fazer passar por outra pessoa só para a irritar.
Tenha cuidado porque estas pessoas são normalmente mentirosas compulsivas, entre todas as outras perturbações mentais de que sofrem.
Por conseguinte, as suas vítimas demoram geralmente muito tempo a chegar ao fundo das suas fraudes.
No, a person suffering from NPD won’t give you a fake name. They’ll probably dizer-vos a verdade relativamente a alguns dados básicos sobre si próprios.
However, they’ll completely disregard certain information they don’t find appealing. They’ll hide their failures and, most importantly, they’ll do everything in their power for you not to see their dark side.
When you first meet someone like this, you think that he is too good to be true. You can’t believe that you’re so lucky to cross paths with such a perfect person.
Nevertheless, a narcissist’s personality is actually a blend of different people.
It’s not rare for them to take over the things they like about their friend’s and family’s past and present them as their own personal history.
The worst part about all this is that once you do find out that you’ve been lied to, it’s usually too late.
You’re already trapped in this narcissistic relationship and you love this person so much that you forgive them for their misdeeds from the beginning.
Relacionadas: 52 Coisas Manipuladoras que os Narcisistas Dizem Numa Discussão
Campanha de difamação
Uma grande parte da oferta narcísica reside no facto de o narcisista se sentir melhor do que os seus vítima – doing everything in his power to make you feel like he is above you in all ways possible.
Basicamente, o que estas pessoas procuram é aprovação. Precisam que as idealizemos e, para o conseguirem, têm de nos deitar abaixo primeiro, pois só assim podemos estar abaixo delas.
That is exactly why they often do something called a smear campaign, spreading negative propaganda about you just to ruin your reputation – yet another one of the things weird things narcissists do.
Um narcisista vai falar mal de si aos seus amigos, familiares e colegas de trabalho. Ele fará o possível para que todos eles percam o respeito por si.
Durante esse tempo, ele usará mentiras e manipulações. Espalhará sabiamente boatos a seu respeito, tudo com o objetivo final de fazer com que os outros pensem mal de si.
Desta forma, uma pessoa narcisista destrói a sua credibilidade. As pessoas deixam de o considerar fiável e a sua palavra perde todo o seu peso.
Consequently, even when you try looking for help from others – once you try escaping this mental prison he’s put you in – you keep finding shut doors.
Even when you try telling people that he’s an abuser, nobody actually believes you since their opinion of you is already tainted.
No final do dia, não tem mais ninguém a não ser o seu narcisista a quem recorrer. E isso é exatamente o que ele sempre quis alcançar.
Além disso, esta é a sua forma de vos impedir de progredir na vida. Uma forma de controlo sobre si.
After all, how can you hope of getting the promotion you need so you could gain your financial independence if your partner’s made sure your boss and coworkers consider you irresponsible or even a thief?
How do you expect your friends to give you a shelter once you finally decide to leave him and go no contact if your partner’s made sure they consider you a liar or abuser?
Como é que se pode iniciar o processo de recuperação de abuso narcísico se não tiveres ninguém para te ajudar?
Guardar rancores
Let’s face it, all of us are resentful from time to time. Some things seem completely irrelevant, but you can’t force yourself to forget them or to forgive the ones who did you harm.
Dito isto, os narcisistas são campeões de guardar rancor. They have a memory of an elephant and never forget something that’s hurt them, even if they act like they accept someone’s apology.
In fact, the problem is that a narcissist’s ego rarely allows him to show anyone that he is heartbroken or emotionally damaged. He will often act like someone hurting him isn’t such a big deal.
No entanto, ele só se comporta assim no início. Por outro lado, assim que surge o primeiro desentendimento, ele faz questão de mencionar algo do passado e reabrir velhas feridas.
O mesmo se aplica às relações amorosas. Uma pessoa narcisista está pronta a intimidar o seu parceiro durante anos por causa de algo que fizeram há muito tempo.
Ele vai esfregar no seu nariz algumas coisas que você tinha certeza que eram águas passadas, sempre que vocês dois brigarem.
This man has no capacity for forgiveness. He doesn’t accept apologies and always remembers every time his feelings got hurt.
Dois pesos e duas medidas
On the other hand, a narcissist will rarely remember the things he’s done to his victims, which is also a red flag that you’re dealing with a sociopata.
Este tipo de pessoas tem normalmente dois pesos e duas medidas. Têm um conjunto de regras para as suas vítimas, outro para o resto do mundo e um terceiro para si próprias.
O narcisista vê-se como um privilegiado. Ele é o melhor dos melhores e uma criatura dada por Deus.
Por conseguinte, é-lhe permitido comportar-se como quiser. Tem direito a fazer certas coisas que mais ninguém faz.
Esta pessoa vê-se a si própria como realeza, enquanto todos os outros são apenas seus servos. O mundo gira à sua volta.
These people lack empathy and think they have the full right to do whatever they want, without taking other people’s opinions or feelings into consideration.
Além disso, devido à sua falta de empatia, o narcisista consegue sempre justificar as suas más acções.
He finds excuses for his toxic behavior and doesn’t have trouble forgiving himself, since he doesn’t have the ability to observe things from your point of view.
Na verdade, ele espera que o resto do mundo também seja tolerante com as suas acções. Segundo ele, faça o que fizer, merece sempre um perdão.
On the other hand, he is extremely judgmental when it comes to others – especially when it comes to his romantic partner.
Tudo o que fazes é observado através de um microscópio. Cada erro seu é dissecado, discutido e analisado até ao fundo.
This man holds you accountable for all the wrong choices you’ve ever made. On the other hand, if he happens to do exactly the same thing, he doesn’t go so hard on himself.
De facto, ele espera compreensão e tratamento gentil, apesar de ele nunca dar o mesmo em troca.
Ser um camaleão
Another one of the weird things narcissists are capable of is to transform into whoever they want. And no, I’m not talking about this in a good way.
Of course, one’s adaption skills are quite significant – they give you the possibility of hanging out with different people and chase away one’s fears.
What I’m trying to tell you is that most of the people with NDP are actually skilled actors, which can be extremely dangerous for your relationship.
After all, whenever you hear about cases of domestic violence, you think of yourself – that the abuser seemed like a nice guy and you can’t believe the accusations against him.
You wonder how this sociopath in disguise tricked the entire world into considering him a high-value man, even though he can’t be further from one.
Well, narcissists are usually chameleons. They don’t go around acting like abusadores since they’re extremely careful about their reputation and the public image they present.
Instead, at first sight, these people are usually perceived as the kindest and the most polite human beings you’ve ever met.
They’re masters at putting on a mask of a decent man and pretending to be someone they’re not.
However, when they come home, they usually turn into real-life beasts. A narcissist knows that his victim is head over heels for him so he doesn’t have any more need for false pretenses.
Now, he is safe to show you his worst sides. Nobody could ever connect these two personalities with each other – and there is exactly where lies their magical ability.
You know how there are some parts of you you simply can’t hide, even if you tried? Some aspects of your personality that always swim to the surface and you can’t control it?
Well, that is where you’re similar to the rest of the world.
Por outro lado, enquanto um narcisista está a tentar conquistá-la, tem um sentido de auto-controlo tão forte que pode esconder o que quiser sobre si próprio e reinventar a pessoa que é.
Anular a outra pessoa
Como já foi referido, outro dos sintomas da sua perturbação é o facto de os narcisistas se considerarem os mais importantes do mundo.
Esperam que os outros vejam e saibam como são especiais e únicos.
According to them, the entire universe revolves around them. They’re always the number one priority and everyone else comes behind them.
Embora isto possa parecer apenas um caso de autoestima elevada, é na realidade uma parte da sua perturbação mental e uma caraterística que causa problemas em todas as suas relações, incluindo as românticas.
What I’m trying to tell you is that when you’re in an relação abusiva com alguém que sofre de NPD, deixamos de existir como o nosso verdadeiro eu.
According to his views, you’re no longer an individual with your own personality, best friends, family, interests, dreams, fears, hopes…
Em vez disso, o teu único papel neste mundo é o de parceira romântica dele. Foste enviada a este mundo para lhe agradar e como instrumento para ele conseguir o que quer.
A questão é que este tipo de pessoa nunca o reconhecerá ou às suas emoções, o que também é uma forma de abuso narcísico.
Sempre que algo se passa contigo, ele tem algo mais importante a que todos têm de prestar atenção.
For example, when you talk to this person about your problems or tell him you’re feeling bad, he’ll never put any energy in trying to help you.
Instead, he’ll immediately turn the tables and make it all about him. He’ll start talking about a similar situation he was once in, or connect what you’re going through with something he experienced.
Seja como for, o que interessa é que ele anula a sua vítima. Ele tenta apagar a sua individualidade e o seu objetivo final é o seu assassinato espiritual.
Perseguição e espionagem
A coisa mais arrepiante de estar envolvido com um narcisista é o seu possessivo e ciumento.
And we’re not talking of the normal jealous because someone cares for you a lot and obviously can’t stay immune to picturing you next to someone else.
Com uma personalidade narcisista, os ciúmes fazem parte do seu distúrbio e normalmente ultrapassam a sua compreensão.
O núcleo do seu comportamento possessivo reside em duas coisas principais: um desejo de controlo e problemas de confiança.
Em primeiro lugar, estas pessoas têm uma vontade incontrolável de estar sempre no controlo de todos os aspectos da sua vida e da vossa.
They deny your right to privacy and things as boundaries and personal space don’t exist for them.
Secondly, we all think that the rest of the world is just like us. Therefore, a narcissist knowing that he can’t be trusted, expects everyone else, including you to be the same.
That’s why he usually engages in things such as spying and stalking. Yes, you heard it right: This is not just something you only see in the movies.
Um narcisista detalhado escolherá a sua potencial vítima muito antes de a abordar pela primeira vez.
He’ll spend some time stalking her and trying to collect as much information about her as possible.
Esta perseguição continua também depois da vossa separação. Ele segue todos os seus passos, fica obcecado com as suas publicações nas redes sociais e até incomoda as pessoas mais próximas.
When it comes to spying, it usually takes place during your narcissistic relationship and often includes techniques and equipment you don’t even know exist.
Don’t be surprised if you find out that your narcissistic partner has put cameras all around your apartment or found a way to listen in on your phone conversations.
These are the people who will hack your social media profiles, snoop through your phone while you’re sleeping, or even get someone to intentionally flirt with you just to check your fidelity.
The worst part is that you don’t have to give your narcissist a reason to doubt you in order for him to start behaving like this. It’s just a part of who he is and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
Identificação projectiva
Um traço comum da personalidade narcísica é a projeção. De facto, a identificação projectiva é o seu mecanismo de defesa número um.
No, they don’t use this projection as a way to defend themselves from you since you’re not the one attacking them.
Em vez disso, utilizam-na para se protegerem dos seus próprios impulsos e de partes ocultas do seu carácter.
A um certo nível da sua consciência, os narcisistas sabem quem são. Eles sabem que têm pelo menos algumas partes negativas da sua personalidade.
However, they do their best to escape those aspects of themselves. In fact, they repress it to the point that they start pretending that they’re not there.
No entanto, o problema surge quando uma pessoa narcisista começa a acusar a sua vítima de ter os impulsos que tenta esconder sobre si própria.
Quando um narcisista projecta as suas más qualidades em outra pessoa e começa a odiá-la por ter essas características imaginárias.
Basically, if your narcissist is an abuser, this is something he can’t accept about himself.
Por isso, é provável que ele a acuse de ser abusiva, apesar de ser ele o único a mostrar tendências violentas no seu comportamento.
O mesmo se aplica à fidelidade. Se o seu narcisista é infiel, it’s not uncommon for him to accuse you of the same. If he hates himself or you, he’ll constantly accuse you of hating him, and so on.
O jogo da culpa
Outra das coisas estranhas que os narcisistas fazem tão bem é jogar o jogo da culpa.
A big problem with these people is that they literally have no sense of responsibility, which is also a red flag that you’re dealing with a psicopata.
According to them, they’re never guilty for anything happening to them or around them.
In fact, when they’re in a relationship, the other person is always responsible for everything going downhill, while they’re the ones who should be praised for the relationship’s successes.
Narcissists don’t know how to apologize sincerely.
In fact, even when they at some point act like they’re ready to take responsibility, they turn the tables soon enough and make you look like the bad guy in the story.
Mesmo que um narcisista consiga fisicamente violento with you and has no other way of getting back into your life but to own up to his mistakes and promise he’ll never repeat them again, don’t expect to get a real apology.
Instead, he’ll probably try to blame you for provoking him. You were either too loud, you didn’t know when to stop arguing, or you told him something you knew would trigger him.
The same goes for infidelity as well. Even if you catch him red-handed and he has no other choice but to admit his error, he’ll use reverse psychology and make you guilty for his actions.
He might tell you that he had doubts about your fidelity or that you weren’t giving him enough attention. Practically, either way, you made him do it.
A narcissist has this need to always be the victim of every possible situation. He’s not mature enough to stand any kind of judgment or to take responsibility for his actions.
Instead, for him, it’s much easier to shift the blame to others and pretends to be perfect.
No entanto, o problema é que, passado algum tempo, a vítima começa a acreditar nele.
He brainwashes you into thinking that you’re always the only one guilty, which makes it almost impossible for you to leave the cage he’s put you in.
Chantagem emocional
Narcissists are the biggest blackmailers in this world. No, they’re not the ones who will kidnap your loved one and ask for ransom (although you shouldn’t put it past them.)
Todos os narcisistas usam chantagem emocional como uma ferramenta de sucesso contra a sua vítima. Já se sabe que eles escolhem muito bem quem atacar e examinam as suas vítimas antes de as abordarem.
Well, it’s quite unlikely that a narcissist will pick a heartless victim with a lack of empathy. They don’t choose selfish people with high self-esteem.
Instead, they’ll always focus on empaths with insecurity problems. Therefore, if a narcissist is involved with you, he is perfectly aware that you’re an emotional person who is mostly led by her feelings.
So, he uses this trait of yours against you. He threatens you, has anger outbursts, and does everything in his power to intimidate you every time he doesn’t get his way.
At the end of the day, you start to feel fear, obligation, and guilt – often referred to as FOG.
No, this man doesn’t care that you’re no longer with him out of your sincere love for him, he uses FOG to manipulate you into staying with him.
Emotional blackmail doesn’t only happen when you try leaving your narcissist.
Também o chantageia quando decide partilhar a sua versão da história com alguém, numa tentativa de se libertar das suas correntes.
As suas ameaças diferem de pessoa para pessoa.
While some narcissists tell you that they’ll turn your life into a living hell if you don’t do what they say, some threaten to make a huge scandal or drama and embarrass you in front of everyone.
Há também aqueles com estratégias de chantagem mais sérias. Aqueles que ameaçam fazer-lhe mal fisicamente se os deixar ou prometem fazer mal a si próprios se se afastar.
Naturally, when this group is in question, you can’t help but feel FOG.
You’re afraid that your narcissist will turn his threats into reality, you feel obliged to be with him since you’re the only one who can prevent him from doing something bad, and at the end of the day, the overwhelming guilt prevents you from turning your back on him.
Consciously, you know that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt himself. However, there is always that tiny voice in the back of your head, wondering: “What if he really goes through with it?”
You know you couldn’t live with such a huge responsibility – you’d still consider yourself guilty for his actions, instead of realizing that this is a person who has a personality disorder and needs help.
Sabotagem
Quando vemos contos de fadas ou telenovelas foleiras, vemos que o mau da fita está preparado para fazer tudo o que for preciso só para criar problemas à personagem principal.
Fazem-no nas suas costas e recorrem ao inimaginável.
Of course, you assume that this only happens in the movies. After all, who would go that far and through all of that trouble just to ruin another person’s life?
Bem, quando nos envolvemos com alguém que sofre de transtorno de personalidade narcísica, vemos que todas estas intrigas são, de facto, bastante realistas.
O facto é que os narcisistas comportam-se muitas vezes de forma semelhante aos vilões dos filmes. Fingem que o amam, mas na realidade fazem tudo o que está ao seu alcance para o sabotar de todas as formas possíveis.
They’ll give their best to destroy all of your other healthy relationships. They will spread gossip about you to your best friends, play double games, and lie in every chance they get.
O mesmo acontece com o trabalho.
O seu parceiro narcisista é capaz de lhe esconder correio importante, de partir literalmente o computador de que precisa para o seu projeto ou de telefonar anonimamente ao seu patrão para se queixar do seu trabalho.
Acredite, a madrasta má de todos os contos de fadas não tem nada a ver com um narcisista que está determinado a sabotar a sua vítima.
However, he doesn’t do this only when you try to go nenhum contacto e deixá-lo.
In fact, a narcissist behaves like this during your relationship since it’s his way of forming stronger emotional codependency.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is one of those weird things narcissists (and other people) do that you’ve probably heard of.
Resumindo, iluminação artificial significa brincar com a sua cabeça e com a sua saúde mental, que é algo que os narcisistas gostam de fazer e que é outro dos sintomas da sua perturbação.
It’s a tactic every narcissistic person uses in attempts to control your world.
You see, for a sociopath like this, it’s not enough to have absolute control over everything going on around you, he wants to be in charge of all events taking place inside of you as well.
Quando nos ilumina com gás, o narcisista faz-nos uma lavagem cerebral para que acreditemos mais nele do que nos nossos próprios olhos, ouvidos e instintos.
Ele faz-nos pensar que a sua perceção da realidade é a única em que devemos confiar e seguir.
For example, when you’re being gaslighted, your abuser will often accuse you of imagining things, for overreacting or exaggerating, which of course impacts your mental health.
However, the suffering doesn’t end there. In fact, he will probably try to convince you that some things didn’t happen the way they did, even though you were there to experience them.
Um narcisista maligno distorce os factos e interpreta-os da forma que mais lhe convém.
This is especially true when it comes to you complaining about the treatment you’ve been getting in your toxic relationship.
At the end of the day, you’re not in an abusive relationship, you’re being too sensitive, or you’re too weak. He is not unfaithful, you’re the one who is overly paranoid or jealous.
Naturally, at first, you don’t believe him. However, after a while, your narcissist skilfully manages to distort your reality.
Passado algum tempo, começa a sentir-se perdido e a perguntar-se se é realmente o louco.
Ao iludir as suas vítimas, os narcisistas fazem o seu melhor para as esgotar mentalmente ao ponto de não terem forças para as confrontar.
