Lições que aprendi depois de ter o coração partido
As relações com as outras pessoas podem ser muitas vezes confusas e, por vezes, chegam a ser confusas ao ponto de nos perdermos no meio de toda a confusão.
Acabamos por nos perguntar o que raio está a acontecer e acabamos num lugar tão escuro que não fazemos ideia de como chegámos lá.
We all enter relationships with other people hoping for the best, but what happens when ‘the best’ doesn’t happen? What happens when instead of getting what you hoped for or what you deserved, you get your heart broken?
After I’d been through a lot in my life and after I’d had one demasiados desgostos, I learned that I can’t continue walking through life constantly rushing into things and ending up falling flat on my face all the time.
Quando finalmente aprendi a permitir-me ver para além da dor que as outras pessoas me proporcionavam, aprendi algumas coisas valiosas na vida.
Here are my 11 most important lessons…
11. Ninguém é perfeito ou como o imaginamos à partida
É aqui que cometo a maior parte dos meus erros. Estou sempre a pensar que as pessoas são a forma como se apresentam à partida.
And I never bother to look beyond their first layer, I never scratch to see what’s under the surface. Sometimes there is more to people than we see at first, be that better or worse.
Nobody is perfect and everyone has flaws. Perhaps those flaws aren’t displayed at first, but they are there and once all the excitement decreases, you’ll be able to see them.
At the end of the day, we’re all bound to show our true face to others eventually, so before you allow yourself to fall in love with someone, make sure you scratch under the surface and know who they really are.
10. És muito mais forte do que pensas que és
Every time I got my heart broken, I thought this is it, this is the one that will break me completely, this is my end and from this one, I won’t be able to recover.
And guess what? After each heartbreak, I recovered. Sometimes it took me a while, but eventually, I’d always colocar os pedaços do meu coração partido de volta juntos.
At some point in your life, you’ll think you’ve come to the end of the road. You’ll think how life couldn’t hit you any harder and you’ll think about giving up so many times.
And when this happens, think about how many times before you have been in that situation and yet you’ve managed to pass through it.
És muito mais forte do que pensas because you’ve been brought into this life to be a fighter and not a person who gives up. Give yourself some credit for that.
9. Só aqueles que realmente gostam de ti estarão lá para ti nos teus dias mais difíceis
When I was the most down, it wasn’t those people I thought would be there who were actually there for me, but those who truly cared for me. Those who I thought should be there for me couldn’t stand the phase I was going through, nor did they bother to try and understand it.
They said that I was either being too dramatic about it or that I should just snap out of it. On the other hand, the people I wouldn’t have thought of being there for me at first were actually the ones who held my hand when I needed it the most and who helped me get back up.
Just because you deserved for some people to be there for you in your darkest days, it doesn’t mean that this is the way it’s always going to happen.
And that’s okay. Pay attention to those who stuck by you even when you were not fun to be around because those are the people who truly care about you and those are the only ones who matter.
8. If the feeling is off, you’re allowed to say no
Só Deus sabe quantas vezes fui quebrado pelas pessoas de quem tinha maus sentimentos no início. Mas, apesar do que sentia, dei-lhes o benefício da dúvida e acabei por ficar com a palha mais curta.
Whenever you don’t feel like welcoming someone into your life—don’t. You’re allowed to say no, regardless of what those people did for you, and regardless of how much they like or love you, if the feeling is off.
Mesmo que não faça sentido ou que seja um pouco egoísta, deve a si próprio fazer-se feliz.
7. Respeite-se sempre para se afastar daqueles que só o estão a magoar
For a long time, I had this habit of giving myself the most to those who were hurting me the most. I kept thinking if I gave them more love, they’d choose to hurt me less, but I was wrong. I only ended up getting even more hurt for not afastar-me quando devia ter-me afastado.
Por muito que se ame, o amor nunca é uma desculpa para se manter numa relação tóxica. O amor nunca deve ser uma desculpa para permitir que alguém o trate mal ou destrua a sua auto-confiança.
Always respect yourself enough to walk away from those who are just hurting you. Don’t give your best to those who did nothing to deserve it.
6. Everything that happens to you in life will either teach you a lesson or destroy you—but the choice is always yours
A vida continuava a atirar-me bolas curvas e eu continuava a tropeçar nelas. Tudo o que me acontecia cortava-me sempre o coração como a lâmina mais afiada.
Every time I wasn’t loved or when I wasn’t treated the way I deserved, I despaired, even at the smallest inconvenience. Then I opened my eyes and realized I couldn’t continue walking through life afraid that something bad would happen or allowing everything to affect me.
When I learned to look beyond the pain I was going through, that’s when I started growing.
Everything that happens in your life happens for a reason. And everything that happens will affect you, but it’s up to you to choose whether you’ll use it wisely or let it break you.
É preciso ser suficientemente sábio para saber quando deixar certas coisas, e é preciso compreender que nem todas as pessoas que entram na nossa vida são para ficar e que nem tudo o que queremos na vida é o mesmo que precisamos.
É preciso começar a transformar cada coisa que nos aconteceu numa lição e não num revés.
5. If someone truly loves you, you’ll know
God knows how many times I stuck by someone, mistaking what they gave me for love. God knows how many sleepless nights I’ve had because I wasn’t sure if the person I was with loved me or not.
E só Deus sabe quantas vezes fui quebrada por alguém que eu pensava que me amava.
See, when someone loves you, you’ll know. There won’t be second-guessing, there won’t be nights when you can’t fall asleep because your mind is busy wondering if someone loves you or not, you won’t be confused or unsure.
When someone truly loves you, they’ll do everything in their power to make sure you’re aware of that. They’ll make sure you feel special and loved. That’s the only truth.
4. Just because you love someone, it doesn’t mean you’re meant to be
I’ve held on to so many temporary people in my life that I forgot how those who are meant to stay look. I kept living with this illusion that all those who come into my life are meant to stay.
I kept thinking that all those I love will love me back. But this couldn’t be further from reality.
Sabes, às vezes a vida envia-nos algumas pessoas para nos ensinarem certain things and then you need to let them go. Don’t waste your days or all the other opportunities by holding on to relationships that aren’t meant to be.
Abandonar as coisas e as pessoas temporárias para que aqueles que estão realmente destinados a ficar possam ter um lugar livre.
3. Just because you love someone, it doesn’t mean they’ll be good to you
I had this idea in my head that if I didn’t want to hurt someone, they also wouldn’t do anything that would hurt me. I thought if I loved someone, then they wouldn’t do anything that would harm me.
Little did I know that by loving people, I was giving them the ultimate weapon to hurt me—my heart.
Not all people you love will always love you back. Not all people you’re good to will be good to you back. Sometimes those you give yourself the most to will actually hurt you the most.
And sometimes no matter what you do, you can’t make some people love you. It’s because they are wrong and no love in this world that you give them will make them right.
2. Por vezes, não conseguir o que se quer pode ser a melhor coisa que nos acontece
I can’t even recall how many times I was cursing destiny and the other higher forces for denying me the things I wanted.
Quantas vezes fiquei triste e quantas vezes chorei até adormecer por não ter as pessoas que queria na minha vida ou por não ser amada pelas pessoas que amava, só para a vida me mostrar que de cada vez que me esquivei de uma bala com eles e que o facto de não ter conseguido o que queria foi, na verdade, a melhor coisa que me podia ter acontecido.
Sometimes you don’t think clearly and you wish for yourself the things that might be toxic to you. Oftentimes, things that you want aren’t exactly the things you need or are actually the things you should be running away from.
Know that each time you’re denied something you wanted it’s because something better is headed your way.
1. Just because you didn’t get what you deserved, it doesn’t mean it will never find its way to you
The most times I was wrong was when I wanted certain things or people and I wanted them there and then. But that’s not how life works, you know.
Whatever is destined to be, will be. Whatever is yours will find a way to you sooner or later. Desperately sharking toward it won’t change a thing.
So the best thing to do is to let things happen when they’re meant to happen. Don’t rush anything and don’t force anything, let alone love. When the time is right, you’ll get what you deserve.
