Para a rapariga que está de luto pela perda de alguém que ainda está vivo

When you hear the word “loss,” the first thing that comes to mind is probably death.

It’s losing someone forever; it’s someone abandoning you and this world for good without the possibility of ever coming back.

Quando pensamos em perda, imaginamos imediatamente as pessoas de luto por um ente querido que faleceu. 

Sem dúvida, esta é a pior dor que qualquer um de nós pode sentir.

Yes, we’re all aware of death our entire life and we know that it’s inevitable, but the truth is that nothing can prepare you for the moment when you have to face the fact that you’ve forever lost someone you love.

Nothing can prepare you for the fact that life continues and you have to keep going, despite this overwhelming sadness that consumes you, where you feel like there’s this extremely heavy stone lying on your chest.

Sim, a morte é a perda final. E dói mais do que tudo.

However, that doesn’t mean that it’s the only loss you can experience in life.

It’s not the only situation where you’re allowed to mourn losing someone you deeply care for.

É que, quando se ter o coração partido by the person you thought was your other half, when you get abandoned by someone you trusted the most, when you’re betrayed by the only person you thought you could rely on, and when someone you love leaves you, you’re allowed to grieve as well.

Porque esta é também uma situação em que se experimenta uma perda dolorosa.

And this is exactly what’s happening to you: you’re mourning the loss of someone who is alive.

You’re grieving over the loss of a man who is healthy, sane, and happy somewhere far away from you.

However, that doesn’t make your sorrow any less intense or any less important.

Because you really did lose him and you really don’t have him in your life anymore.

You’re grieving over the fact that you need to continue your life without him by your side.

You’re grieving over all the mornings you’ll wake up alone without him on the other side of the bed, all of your birthdays without him, all the texts you’ll never receive, all the goodnight kisses you have to say goodbye to, and every dream you two had that will never turn into reality.

You’re crying because tem saudades dele and you know you’ll probably miss him for a while.

Because you know that there is no coming back – that you’ll never hug him or hold him by the arm again.

You’re mourning the person you were next to this guy.

You’re grieving the death of your relationship, the spiritual death of the vulnerable girl you once were, and the death of love that used to exist between the two of you.

This is also a final loss, isn’t it? You lost this guy for good and he’s never coming back.

So, don’t you ever think that you’re not allowed to suffer and don’t you ever be ashamed of your pain.

Don’t be embarrassed over the fact that you still haven’t healed or let anyone tell you that you’re overreacting.

Yes, this is not the end of the world and, yes, there are definitely much worse things one can experience during one’s lifetime.

However, your pain is yours only and you should never compare it to anyone else’s.

No entanto, há uma diferença crucial entre o luto por alguém que morreu e o luto por alguém que ainda está vivo: no seu caso, há sempre esperança.

Hope that one day, you’ll forget all about this feeling and that you’ll completely recover, like this heartbreak never happened. 

A morte de um ente querido deixa uma cicatriz permanente na nossa alma.

Com o tempo, ultrapassa-se essa dor até certo ponto, mas ela torna-se parte de nós.

No entanto, quando se tem o coração partido, há uma hipótese de sair ileso.

There is hope that there’ll come a day when you’ll curar completamente, without everything you’ve been through influencing you in any way.