O guia definitivo para estabelecer limites saudáveis nos relacionamentos

Ter limites saudáveis e fortes nas relações é essencial para que qualquer tipo de relação funcione. É preciso traçar um limite algures e definir as coisas que estão para além do compromisso.

Por muito que ame o seu parceiro, há algumas coisas que nunca deve comprometer.

Essas coisas chamam-se os seus limites pessoais e, honestamente, são uma parte muito importante de qualquer relação saudável.

The most important thing is that both sides have to respect each other’s boundaries.

That’s how you’ll break down the walls between you and feel comfortable in your relationship, strengthening the bond between you two.

Being in a romantic relationship isn’t always sunshine and daisies. And setting clear boundaries in an intimate relationship can be a very challenging and difficult part of it.

Still, it’s also an inevitable part if you really want to make that relationship work long-term.

Infelizmente, a maioria das pessoas tem medo de estabelecer limites porque pensa que isso pode criar mais problemas do que benefícios na sua relação.

Pelo contrário, a falta de limites ou uma ausência total de limites irá prejudicar e arruinar lentamente a sua relação, mesmo que pense que a ligação entre si e o seu parceiro é forte e inquebrável.

A importância de estabelecer limites saudáveis nas relações

Porque é que os limites são importantes nas relações? Pode uma relação durar sem estabelecer limites claros?

Can a lack of boundaries ruin your relationship completely? What if you’re afraid to talk to your partner about it?

Antes de mais, devo dizer que, se soubesse a importância e os benefícios dos limites para uma relação, começaria imediatamente a trabalhar nesse sentido.

Healthy personal boundaries are important, and you should set them for your well-being. It’s how you show others how you would like to be treated.

You have to define your limits, the things you don’t want to tolerate from anyone. People will respect you more that way, and you’ll never allow anyone to treat you worse than you deserve.

Por isso, antes de começar a trabalhar na definição de limites fortes e claros numa relação, deve pensar nos limites da sua própria vida.

Deve estabelecer algumas regras na sua própria vida, como quer ser tratado pelos outros, e depois adaptá-las à sua relação.

Having boundaries in a relationship means you’re listening, respecting, and caring for your partner. Definem a sua identidade, quem é na relação.

Estabelecer limites saudáveis e fortes evitará que se perca numa relação e torná-lo-á mais forte e seguro no caso de o seu parceiro tentar controlá-lo ou à sua vida.

Por vezes, o amor que sentimos pelo nosso parceiro cega-nos completamente e entregamo-nos inteiramente a essa outra pessoa.

It’s so wrong, and it leads to that toxic, codependent behavior and losing your identity in a relationship. Establishing boundaries is key to ensuring that both partners feel respected, loved, and supported.

Por outro lado, a falta de limites abre a porta a desentendimentos, maus-tratos e co-dependente comportamento numa relação.

8 tipos de limites nas relações

Por isso, se quiser ter um relação saudável, setting boundaries is an inevitable part. Trust me, it’s not so difficult, and it definitely won’t damage your relationship.

A falta de limites numa relação afecta ambos os parceiros. Prejudica a sua saúde mental e tem também um impacto negativo na sua autoestima.

Além disso, a falta de limites claros pode tornar a sua relação co-dependente. That’s unhealthy, and it’ll harm your relationship to the point you won’t even be able to fix it anymore.

We’re all different human beings, which makes the relationships we form with other people different too.

We all have different limits and things we don’t want to compromise on, which means we also have different kinds of boundaries when we’re in a relationship.

No entanto, existem alguns tipos de limites que são cruciais para qualquer relação saudável e forte.

Limites emocionais

We’ll start with the most important boundaries for all romantic relationships, emotional boundaries, of course.

When establishing emotional boundaries, it’s important to pay attention to your own feelings, not just your partner’s.

Fale sobre os seus sentimentos e pergunte ao seu parceiro sobre os dele. Don’t go guessing how they feel because that’s exactly where most couples make mistakes.

Check in with your partner regularly. Facing issues and problems isn’t the only time you should communicate openly with them.

You must share your feelings daily to always be in touch with your partner’s and your own feelings.

If you feel that something is wrong in your relationship, talk to your partner about it. Also, if you feel like your partner isn’t hearing you or doesn’t understand you, you should communicate it.

Don’t keep your feelings bottled up just because you think some of those negative emotions may harm your relationship.

Isso só vai criar um problema maior, porque essas emoções engarrafadas vão explodir um dia, de certeza.

Não há nada de errado em deixar as pessoas entrarem, especialmente aquelas que amamos. E estabelecer limites emocionais na sua relação evitará definitivamente que elas traiam a sua confiança e o magoem.

Limites físicos

No matter how much you love your partner and enjoy spending time with them, you also need to have your personal space, and you’re allowed to enjoy time on your own sometimes.

That’s why physical boundaries are also important in a relationship.

Don’t be afraid to tell your partner if you need some time alone or when you aren’t comfortable with some of their actions.

Ficar em silêncio sobre as suas necessidades pessoais causará problemas desnecessários na sua relação. Falar sobre isso e apresentar ao seu parceiro as suas necessidades é o melhor.

For example, if you aren’t okay with holding hands in public or any other public display of affection, your partner needs to know.

By setting clear physical relationship boundaries, both of you will feel more comfortable in the relationship, and it’ll also strengthen the trust between you.

Limites de relacionamento com familiares, amigos e colegas de trabalho

Também devem estabelecer limites claros no que diz respeito a outras relações que têm nas vossas vidas.

Devem existir limites saudáveis no que diz respeito à sua relação com os membros da sua família, amizades e relações com os seus colegas de trabalho.

Your families take up significant parts of your lives, and in a way, they’re also a part of your relationship too. Still, that doesn’t give them the right to interfere in your relationship.

Don’t allow your partner to talk ill of the people you care deeply for in your life or vice versa. Just like you should respect your partner’s family and friends, they should also respect yours.

That’s an important part of every healthy relationship.

And, if you aren’t okay with your partner hanging out too much with your family, co-workers, or friends, you should be direct and tell them.

Limites temporais

Outro tipo de limite importante a estabelecer numa relação é a forma como passam o vosso tempo juntos.

Lembre-se disto: mesmo quando estiver mais ocupado, com o horário mais agitado, deve sempre tentar arranjar tempo para o seu parceiro se ele precisar de si.

You should spend quality time together whenever you can. It’s not important whether it’s a little getaway from the city and all of its noise or to simply watch a movie together, snuggled up in front of the fireplace.

Even if you’re apart for some reason, you should at least make a phone call at the end of the day and check in with your partner to see how their day was and how they are feeling.

Do something new together. Travel together. Find a hobby you’ll both like and do that together. Learn something new together, a language or a craft maybe.

I’m not saying that you should spend every second of your free time together, but it’s important to spend quality time together to stay connected with each other.

Estabelecer limites fortes em relação ao seu tempo também é muito importante se notar que o seu parceiro está a tornar-se demasiado carente. O seu apego irá definitivamente prejudicar e eventualmente arruinar a vossa relação.

Limites da intimidade

Este tipo de fronteira nas relações inclui pintimidade físicaO que lhe agrada ou não agrada na sua vida amorosa íntima.

Limites saudáveis de intimidade mean being able to talk to your partner about everything that’s happening behind your closed bedroom door.

It means that you feel able to open up to them about everything regarding intimacy. It means that you’re trying to understand their needs and desires and want them to do the same for you.

Melhorará a ligação emocional entre vós e melhorará muito a vossa vida amorosa.

If you have a fear of intimacy, you shouldn’t be afraid to speak about it with your partner. Explain it to them and ask them to wait and to help you overcome it. I’m sure they will understand and help you fight it.

Limites intelectuais

Don’t think that just because you’re dating someone, you should accept their opinions and have the same opinion and perspective on life. No, that’s not right.

You’re allowed to have a different way of thinking and perspective on life because you’re different people. The important thing is how you deal with it.

Devem aceitar as vossas diferenças e vê-las como uma oportunidade para aprenderem algo novo uns com os outros.

Estabelecer limites intelectuais permitir-vos-á ter opiniões diferentes sobre certas coisas. Confiem em mim. Essas diferenças podem aproximar-vos se aprenderem a lidar com elas da forma correcta.

Having clear intellectual boundaries will help both partners grow in a relationship. It’s also a sign that you respect and apoiarem-se mutuamente‘s different ideas, views, and ways of thinking.

If you don’t feel free to share your opinions with your partner, you’re likely dealing with intellectual boundary violations.

It’s probably because your partner has made you think that you’re wrong or that your way of thinking is completely wrong. It can also lead you to have low autoestima.

Limites relativos às suas vidas passadas

If it seems to you like your partner will never forget your past and stop asking questions about it, it’s high time to set some strong boundaries on that topic.

Your ex, your past relationships, your mistakes from the past… That’s all in the past now, and you shouldn’t suffer because of it in your new relationship.

Don’t allow your partner to punish you for the past mistakes you’ve repented for and haven’t repeated ever again.

You probably needed a lot of time to forget some of your painful past experiences and won’t allow anyone to pick at your old wounds.

Estabelecer limites there, and don’t let your partner rummage through your past too much.

Limites das redes sociais

No mundo moderno dos encontros, estes tipos de limites nas relações tornaram-se muito importantes para manter uma relação saudável.

Por muito que as redes sociais sejam boas para nós, uma vez que nos permitem ver e ouvir os nossos entes queridos sempre que queremos, também têm alguns aspectos menos bons.

It can damage the trust between couples and make them doubt each other’s fidelity.

I’m not saying you should set unhealthy boundaries, such as giving your partner the passwords to all of your social media accounts.

On the contrary, that would only show that you don’t trust each other at all.

However, your partner should have the right to see your phone whenever they want, assuming you don’t have anything to hide from them.

Outro bom limite que deve estabelecer na sua relação com as redes sociais é always respect your partner’s privacy.

Also, agree on posting your photos, especially if one of you isn’t a fan of showing off your love that way.

Ver também: Limites de um casamento saudável com os amigos: 7 melhores exemplos

Como é que se estabelecem limites nas relações?

Setting clear boundaries in a relationship is a process, and if you want to do it the right way, you should do it gradually, step by step. However, it’s really not a big deal.

Also, to maintain your boundaries, it’s important to trust each other, communicate regularly, and most importantly, understand each other’s needs.

Em primeiro lugar, defina os seus limites pessoais

Even if you aren’t in a relationship, you should set your own boundaries, how you want to be treated by others.

Let’s start with self-awareness. It’s important to know your worth to set strong and healthy personal boundaries.

It’s important to know your limits, things you can tolerate and forgive, and those you can’t under no circumstances.

Estabelecer este tipo de limites significa que se respeita a si próprio, que tem um relação saudável with yourself, and don’t allow others to mistreat you.

That will also protect you from being manipulated, controlled, used, or hurt by other people. Also, it’ll positively affect your self-esteem.

These are little promises you make to yourself. For example, don’t ever allow others to insult, humiliate, or criticize you.

Don’t allow other people to invade your personal space. And don’t ever allow anyone to take their negative emotions out on you.

Estas são apenas algumas das coisas em que deve colocar limites para ter uma relação saudável e bem sucedida consigo próprio e com os outros.

O amor-próprio também é importante

Para ter uma relação saudável e bem sucedida com outra pessoa, é preciso ter uma relação consigo próprio em primeiro lugar.

Amor-próprio e a relação consigo próprio dão o mote para todas as outras relações da sua vida. So, if you don’t have healthy personal boundaries, it will be difficult for you to set them in your relationship.

Tens de trabalhar a tua autoconsciência e a tua autoestima. Tens de saber o teu valor e o que mereces, para que nunca permitas que ninguém te trate menos do que isso.

Seja bom para si próprio. Trata-te com respeito. Ama-te a ti próprio first. Don’t sacrifice your well-being; don’t neglect your own boundaries and limits just to please someone else.

It’ll only make you unhappy and unsatisfied with yourself. Then, you won’t be satisfied and happy in your relationship, which will only lead to you and your partner growing apart.

Don’t be afraid to speak your mind

Now, we’ll talk about setting healthy boundaries in a relationship. If you love your partner and you feel they love you back, you should be able to open up to them and talk about everything.

If you aren’t okay with some of their actions, their behavior, or how they treat you, you shouldn’t be afraid to talk to them about it.

Both of you should learn to communicate in a healthy way. There is no problem, no obstacle that you can’t overcome by practicing healthy comunicação.

If something is bothering you about your partner or your relationship and you are afraid to talk about it with them, then that’s a real problem.

It only means that you don’t trust them or that you don’t believe in the strength of your relationship and its power to overcome all issues and obstacles.

Comunicar honestamente

If something is bothering you, or if you aren’t pleased with how your partner treats you, the best advice I can give you is to talk to them honestly about it.

Abra o seu coração ao seu parceiro. Seja direto e honesto. Se enclausurar as suas emoções, isso só o vai afastar do seu parceiro.

Mesmo quando se trata daquelas emoções negativas e sombrias que todos nós sentimos por vezes, também devemos ser honestos em relação a elas.

Don’t think about it harming your relationship or how it could make your partner angry and make them break up with you.

No, if they really love you, they’ll be understanding, and they’ll immediately start working on ways to deal with it and overcome those issues.

Listen to your partner’s needs too

Tal como você tem necessidades e limites, o seu parceiro também os tem. E se quer que ele respeite os seus, deve aceitar e respeitar os dele também.

When your partner talks about things that are bothering them, listen but listen actively. They need to see that you’re hearing them.

As suas próprias necessidades são importantes, mas as deles também o devem ser.

Because it’s what a relationship, a partnership is all about; being equal and equally respecting each other’s needs and limits.

Always show that you understand your partner’s needs, and it’ll make their feelings for you even stronger.

Ask them to talk about their feelings directly and honestly, so you don’t have to guess what’s wrong every time they start behaving differently.

Nomear os seus limites

Sabe quais são os seus limites, certo? Sabe quais são as coisas que nunca toleraria ou perdoaria ao seu ente querido?

So, there’s no point in tiptoeing around. Be direct and tell your partner loud and clear. Define your boundaries to them and make them understand how important they are for you.

Stick to your limitations. If they keep overstepping your boundaries – don’t forgive them. It will only show them that you don’t respect them or yourself.

Confiem em mim. Eles vão violar os seus limites uma e outra vez. Se traçarmos um limite algures, devemos manter esse limite e não permitir que ninguém o ultrapasse.

Deixa os teus sentimentos fora disto

Quando se começa a trabalhar em definição de limites Numa relação, ambos os parceiros devem deixar os seus sentimentos de fora. Os seus sentimentos só podem piorar as coisas ou fazer com que se esqueça dos seus limites.

As we’ve already said, our feelings can blind us sometimes and make us forget all about our limitations and things we swore we’d nunca tolerar nas relações.

I know it’s difficult to talk about things that may damage or ruin your relationship with your loved one, but to prevent it, you must talk about it and, once again, set clear boundaries.

Defina os seus limites e cumpra-os

It’s not just important to set your limits in a relationship. It’s important to follow through with them too.

It’s how you’ll show your partner how important your boundaries are to you, and they’ll try not to overstep them and respect them for the sake of your love and your relationship.

If they make a mistake and somehow overstep them, it’s okay because we all make mistakes sometimes, and you should forgive them.

However, it’s not a mistake if it happens more than once; it’s a sign they don’t respect your boundaries.
Nesse caso, deve avisá-los dos danos que isso causa na vossa relação.

But also, you must know when it’s time to move on.

If you see that someone is neglecting your boundaries and doesn’t respect them, or if they don’t want to make an effort to respect them, no matter how much you love that person, you should let them go and move on.

Someone who’ll gladly respect you and your limits is waiting.

Respect your partner’s boundaries

Tal como quer que o seu parceiro respeite os seus limites e fronteiras, tem de estar preparado para respeitar os dele.

Maybe you don’t agree with all of their boundaries, or you think some of them are completely insane or unnecessary; you should still try to accept and respect them if you honestly care for that person.

Somos todos pessoas diferentes e preocupamo-nos com coisas diferentes. Algumas coisas que são importantes para si podem não ser importantes para o seu parceiro e vice-versa.

However, if you want to have a strong and successful relationship with someone, it’s essential to understand and respect their boundaries in your relationship.

Procurar ajuda ou apoio

Se a definição de limites criar questões e problemas na sua relação, deve considerar a possibilidade de procurar ajuda externa.

Consider taking couples therapy or counseling where you’ll be able to learn from professionals how to set and maintain strong boundaries in relationships.

You can also talk with your friends or a person you both trust if you’re having a hard time accepting each other’s boundaries.

They care for you and your relationship, and I’m sure they’ll be glad to help you or give you good advice.

Estabelecer limites saudáveis é um processo, por isso, dê um passo de cada vez

Setting boundaries in relationships can be very difficult and challenging for some couples. However, you must understand that it’s a process; it can’t be done overnight.

Deve fazê-lo lentamente, dando um passo de cada vez.

Com uma comunicação honesta e saudável, é possível lidar com tudo e ultrapassar todos os obstáculos que surjam no vosso caminho.

Com um pouco de esforço de ambas as partes, é possível estabelecer limites fortes na sua relação, mantendo-os e respeitando-os.

Don’t hurry this process because you’ll probably make some hasty decisions.

If you aren’t sure you can accept some of your partner’s boundaries, talk to them about it, and try to find a solution together that will be good for both of you.

Don’t give up on your relationship just because you feel like you won’t be able to respect all of your partner’s boundaries.

Aprenderá a lidar com isso a seu tempo, porque tem a motivação mais poderosa, o seu amor.

Conclusão

Como pode ver, ter limites nas relações é uma OBRIGAÇÃO para melhorar e manter a sua relação.

It’ll improve the trust between partners, their emotional health, their intimacy, and it’ll also strengthen the bond between them.

Estabelecer limites claros numa relação fará com que ambos os parceiros se sintam à vontade para serem mais livres e abertos um com o outro.

Trust me. You can’t have a strong relationship with someone without setting strong and clear boundaries. And there is no need to be afraid of setting healthy boundaries in a relationship.

It’s important for the sake of the relationship and the well-being of both partners.

Setting and respecting each other’s boundaries will strengthen your relationship and create such a powerful and unbreakable bond between you.

No entanto, antes de começar a trabalhar na definição de limites na sua relação romântica, deve prestar atenção aos seus próprios limites.

Estabelecer limites claros na sua própria vida é o primeiro passo para estabelecer limites numa relação.

Keep in mind that setting strong boundaries has many benefits for your relationship. Respect your partner’s boundaries but also don’t allow them to overstep your own.