6 maneiras de desligar um gaslighter em um relacionamento
Gaslighting é um tipo de abuso emocional que acontece sobretudo nas relações românticas.
Ao utilizá-la, o agressor quer convencer a vítima de que ela não é mentalmente estável.
He uses different tactics to prove he’s right.
In many romantic relationships, one partner, mostly the dominant one, would convince his victim that she didn’t see or hear something correctly.
He would tell her that she’s exaggerating or that she’s too clingy.
He’d do so many nasty things to the woman he swore he is in love with.
Men like that are mostly good actors because they’ll always make things work for them.
Serão as vítimas aos olhos dos seus amigos e familiares.
Nobody will ever think that they’re evil or that they’re capable of doing bad things.
But their victims know too well that they’re ready for anything.
The catch is, it’s really hard to prove that.
It’s extremely hard to fight alone and try to let another know that you’re going through hell.
Mas, se isso significa alguma coisa para si, existem diferentes formas de desligar um gaslighter na sua relação.
Quer saber como? Continue a ler!
Don’t let them brainwash you
The first thing you need to remember is to be strong, and don’t let them do whatever they want with you.
They’ll try to brainwash you and make you think in a way that suits them well.
Mas a vossa obrigação é não deixar que isso aconteça.
Uma boa maneira de o fazer é recordar o que realmente aconteceu.
If you’re 100 percent sure that something happened, don’t let your abuser convince you of the opposite.
If you let them brainwash you the first time, they will do it again and again, and you will end up totally losing yourself over someone who couldn’t care less for you.
Mas ter uma boa memória será um salva-vidas em situações como esta, por isso certifique-se de que sabe sempre o que aconteceu.
Ser suficientemente forte para lutar por si próprio
O seu agressor quer que você seja a submissa.
Ele quer que ouças tudo o que ele diz.
Ele quer que obedeças às suas regras.
Não há problema em falar com o seu parceiro e decidir sobre certas coisas relativas a uma relação.
Mas deixar que alguém assuma todo o controlo numa relação não é de todo saudável.
Isso é algo que nunca se deve permitir a nenhum homem.
If he tries to fight with you, convincing you that you are the crazy one, don’t let him get away with that.
Em vez disso, seja forte e lute por si próprio.
Respeite-se a si própria porque só assim ele a respeitará, nem que seja um pouco.
At least, he’ll know that you are not a doormat and that he can’t behave as he wants.
Walk away from a conversation you don’t feel comfortable with
If you don’t feel good having a conversation with your partner, you should walk away.
If he is rude toward you or if he doesn’t want to listen to what you have to say, it is okay to leave.
You shouldn’t be a part of something you don’t like.
You shouldn’t let anyone push you to do things that you don’t feel good doing.
If you show him that you won’t put up with any of his shit and that you will walk away, he will change the way he treats you.
He will realize you are not so easy to handle and that you’re a true fighter who knows how much you bring to the table.
I know it takes a lot of time and courage for this, but once you try it, you’ll be so proud of yourself.
Preste atenção ao seu padrão de comportamento
Muitas mulheres enfrentam o gaslighting porque não viram todas as bandeiras vermelhas.
They didn’t see that their partner has been using them all the time while he was swearing that he loves them.
They simply believed him and didn’t think anything bad would ever happen.
Mas, na maioria dos casos, quando se relaxa demasiado, podem acontecer coisas más.
That’s why é preciso prestar atenção ao seu padrão de comportamento.
O que é que ele faz sempre que o acusam de alguma coisa?
Ele está a ser agressivo ou fala consigo num tom normal?
Este tipo de coisas pode dizer-nos muito sobre a verdade da situação.
A maioria das pessoas começa a lutar quando é acusada de algo que fez.
Um ataque é a melhor defesa, lembras-te?
Se o seu parceiro age de forma agressiva quando lhe diz que ele fez algo de mau, é provável que seja culpado.
Quanto mais cedo reconhecer isso, mais fácil será entrar na cabeça dele.
Once you do that, you’ll know that it’s time to shut him off and to walk away.
Don’t let him switch the topic
When the abuser sees that you have the upper hand, he’ll try to switch the conversation.
He’ll try to calm you down, telling you that you have right.
É nessa altura que o deve desligar.
Esse é o momento certo para o vencer no seu jogo.
Don’t let him get away with all his shit he has been serving in front of you for so many years.
Tell him that you don’t want to talk about other things but about the issue, you are fighting about right now.
Mantém o teu plano de lhe dizeres tudo o que quiseres para provares que tens razão.
When he sees that you’re not easy to handle, he’ll change his mind.
He’ll realize that he can’t behave as he thought he could.
After you show him that you’re stronger than he thinks, he won’t act like that toward you anymore.
Don’t argue with him, but talk normally
If you show your abuser that you’re overwhelmed by the situation, he will use it against you.
If he sees that you are angry or frustrated, he’ll call you crazy.
He’ll tell you everything is in your head and that it never happened.
Por isso, quando ele tentar lutar consigo, mantenha-se calmo e tente falar com ele num tom de voz normal.
Don’t let him transform you into a monster you’re not.
If you don’t get along about something, you can advise him to talk about it but not to fight.
Se ele se recusar a falar consigo de uma forma calma, deve ir-se embora.
He knows that he can’t piss you off, so he’ll try using all the tactics he can in order to escape that conversation.
Esta é apenas mais uma razão para não confiar nele e para se afastar dele.
