17 coisas a ter em conta quando se namora um homem com filhos
If you’re namorar um homem com filhosBem-vindo ao clube. Trust me, I completely understand everything you’re going through right now. I perfectly understand all your thoughts and emotions. I had the same ride on the same rollercoaster you’re riding right now.
Conheci um homem fantástico há dois anos e a minha vida mudou. Ele era um homem divorciadoO meu pai é um pai dedicado às suas filhas gémeas e, quando começámos a namorar, perguntei-me se seria realmente uma boa decisão envolver-me numa relação assim.
Now, I can proudly say that it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.
The truth is, it wasn’t always all sunshine and roses, and it still isn’t, but life itself isn’t perfect. He makes me feel loved, respected, and appreciated. He makes me the happiest woman in the world, and that’s perfectly enough for me.
O que devo saber sobre namorar um homem com filhos? 17 coisas importantes
No entanto, seria bom que alguém me tivesse dito algumas coisas sobre namorar um homem com filhos… If only someone had told me these things I’m about to share with you.
1. You’ll need to have a real talk with yourself
Antes de começar uma relação deste tipo, é preciso sentar-se e encarar todos os factos sobre o namoro com um rapaz com filhos. No one should judge you… if you feel you aren’t ready to take that responsibility, then don’t do it.
End it before one of you falls in love. If you give up afterward, there is a good chance that you won’t just be breaking his heart. Esses miúdos já passaram por transições suficientes… they shouldn’t get hurt once again.
2. You’ll need to get used to family life
Quer se goste ou não, este tipo vem com o pacote completo. Pode ser um coisa difícil for you to accept, but you’ll need to do it se querem que a vossa relação funcione no longo prazo.
3. He’ll always take things slowly
He’ll always put his kids in primeiro lugar na sua lista de prioridades. It’s common sense that their well-being is and always will be the most important thing for him. That’s why he’ll never rush things.
He’ll want to conhecê-lo profundamente antes de ele decidir levar a vossa relação para o próximo nível. He won’t even introduce you to his kids until he feels that all sides are ready for it.
4. Mas as conversas difíceis sobre o futuro estarão presentes desde o início
Bem, esse tipo de conversas é OBRIGATÓRIO e deve preparar-se para elas. He’ll want to know your plans for the future and whether they match his or not.
Simply, he’ll want to know whether you’re compatible or not. A famosa terapeuta matrimonial e familiar, Rebecca Hendrix, concorda plenamente com isto e afirma também que é necessário verificar se as vossas personalidades e estilos de vida se alinham antes de oficializarem as coisas.
5. You’ll need to be equipped with understanding
Paciência e compreensão. Those are the things you’ll need the most if you’re planning to stay in this kind of relationship for the long run.
6. He’ll need help with balancing his dating and family life
You are probably asking how you can help him with it. It’s actually pretty easy. Mais uma vez, basta mostrar compreensão e manter-se paciente.
If he cancels you at the last moment because something has come up with the kids, don’t make a scene out of it, but ask him if you can help him in any way. Esse é o tipo de mulher que este homem precisa e que vai receber na sua vida.
7. A fasquia das expectativas deve ser mantida realista
You shouldn’t set some high expectativasespecialmente no início da vossa relação.
Of course, he’ll try to make you happy and all that, but he’ll simply be torn apart between you and the kids all the time, and one side (you, most surely) will have to suffer more than the other.
8. There isn’t a definir cronologia para o grande introdução.
The fact is, there are no ground rules when it comes to the time when he’s supposed to meet you with his kids. So, don’t pressure him.
Pode ser necessário um muito tempo antes de ele decidir esse passo, mas entretanto, o que deve fazer é trabalhar no reforçar os vossos laços. Get to know each other… get to know something about the kids, too, so you can also win them over when the time comes.
9. As crianças podem não o aceitar no início
If his kids accept you as soon as they meet you, it’s a great thing. However, there is a possibility that they won’t have a good reaction. I’m a filho de divórcio e, acreditem, este tipo de coisas nunca são fáceis de compreender nem de aceitar.
No entanto, deve tentar construir uma boa relação com eles, and hope that over time, they’ll welcome you into their circle.
10. Estabelecer uma relação positiva com a ex-mulher
Deve também ter em conta que a sua ex-mulher pode afetar a relação entre os dois, especialmente se tiverem tido um divórcio de mau tipo ou se ela ainda sentir algo por ele.
O melhor namoro advice you’ll get regarding this is that you should try to build a healthy relationship with her. She doesn’t and almost surely won’t become your best friend, but you should at least try to be on good terms with her.
11. You’ll be surrounded with much love
Surely, you shouldn’t expect that the kids will immediately welcome you with wide-open armas, but once they do, you’ll feel wrapped in love. Este tipo de sentimento é verdadeiramente impossível de descrever.
12. You’ll even meet a new dimension of love
This whole dating a man with kids thing will enable you to meet a whole new type of love. It’s nothing similar to those types of love you’ve met before, and you’ll only get to experience it again once you become a mother.
Alerta de spoiler; este lado do amor fá-lo-á compreender o verdadeiro valor do amor.
13. He’ll be spending much time with his kids
This is an obvious point, and it’s perfectly normal. He won’t want his kids to be affected by the divorce, and he’ll try his best to be there for them as much as possible.
14. Por conseguinte, o seu tempo de qualidade será limitado
It’s so wonderful to see those father figures and their sacrifices for their kids, but it’s also difficult to deal with it once it starts affecting your relationship.
You won’t be able to spend time with him whenever you want, and that’s without a doubt the most difficult part of dating a man with kids.
15. Podem não poder passar férias juntos
Esta é uma das partes não tão glamorosas de namorar com um rapaz com filhos. Raramente têm a oportunidade de passar férias e feriados juntos.
However, once your relationship becomes more serious, I’m sure this will change, too. Mais uma vez, a paciência e a compreensão são os seus melhores amigos quando namora com este tipo de homem.
16. It’ll be hard… harder than you think
I knew that it would be hard to date a guy with kids. He has serious responsibilities… his little family, two little people that are depending on him… I had it all in my mind. No entanto, para ser sincero, nunca pensei que fosse tão difícil.
As much as you think it’s hard, trust me, it’ll be even harder. There will be many times you’ll want to quit and end it all. However, se o amas verdadeiramente, you’ll endure it all and stick by his side no matter what.
17. Apesar de todos os desafios, esta pode ser a experiência mais gratificante da sua vida
Na minha opinião pessoal, all those sacrifices, disappointments, compromises… all of those things pay off in the end. I’m the best example of that.
Now, I’m uma madrasta to two wonderful stepkids whom I love the most. I enjoy helping with the school drop-offs and going to school plays, and I’m the happiest person on the planet when I’m setting the dinner table for four people.
He’s my melhor amigo and the person I want to build… actually expand our family with. E tu também podes estar no meu lugar, apenas se fores paciente e te mantiveres forte fé no amor.
Ver também: Por que é tão difícil para os homens namorar? 15 razões que abrem os olhos
Vantagens de namorar um homem com um filho
As I’m dating a guy with a kid, I think I have the right to claim that being in such a relationship has many advantages.
Of course, it’s much harder than dating a single guy without this kind of responsibility, but there are definitely some great sides to dating a guy with a kid.
Besides these advantages you’ll see below, I really have to emphasize that dating a guy with a kid changed me… it changed my life in so many ways.
Today, I’m proud to say that it made me become a completely nova pessoa… a much better person in every possible sense of that word.
? Recebe o pacote completo
? He’ll provide the stability you long for
? You’ll have plenty of tempo a sós
? It’ll make you more mature
? Nada de jogos mentais ou jogos de qualquer tipo
?Noites de encontro may be poor in quantity, but they definitely won’t lack quality
? Pode ser o pai (madrasta) fixe
Desvantagens de namorar um homem com um filho
I don’t and I’ll never regret indulging in a relationship with a guy who has a kid. It’s by far the best, most amazing relationship I have ever had, and I wouldn’t change any part of it.
However, there were many difficult moments, especially at the beginning. We’ve faced many challenges every um único dia, tinha muitos conversas difíceis, e nunca tivemos o apoio que precisávamos dos nossos entes queridos.
Abaixo, enumerei mais algumas coisas que considero contras de namorar um rapaz com filhos. Sei que estas coisas te parecem muito importantes neste momento, porque já fui tu e senti o mesmo.
However, we used these to strengthen our relationship; we didn’t allow them to tear us apart. Look at us today… we have a relação mais saudável e o mais espantoso pequena família.
? You’ll never be his top priority
? Passar o tempo juntos serão limitados
? Tens de o conquistar a ele e aos seus filhos
? A sua ex-mulher também está na fotografia
? É preciso ter cuidado com PDA-ing
? Não há escapadelas de última hora
? You’re dealing with um homem com bagagem emocional
? Ele pode estar a evitar a intimidade
Como lidar com o namoro com um homem que tem filhos?
Antes de mais, é preciso estar consciente de toda a situação. É preciso aceitar o facto de que esta não é uma relação qualquer e que um grande parte da sua vida vai mudar.
You’ll need to arm yourself with understanding and patience. Things won’t always go as you plan, so you also need to be prepared to make compromissos.
It’s okay to fight for the man you love and maintain your relationship, but please don’t let it make you neglect the relationship with yourself.
Don’t perder-se na sua relação porque por muito que o ames, ninguém vale esse tipo de sacrifício.
Se, em algum momento, se sentir sobrecarregado com tudo isto, fale com o seu homem e procurar ajuda de treinadores de relações e especialistas em encontros.
É difícil sair com alguém que tem um filho?
I’m not happy to admit it, but the truth is that it’s hard to namorar alguém que tenha filhos. It’s truly a big deal. And, the sooner you accept it, the sooner you’ll be able to face many challenges that come with that type of relationship.
No entanto, há coisas pelas quais vale mesmo a pena lutar, e o amor é definitivamente uma delas.
Se you aren’t a kid person or you don’t feel ready to take the title of being a step-parent, it’ll especially be tough for you then. That’s why you need to have a serious conversation with yourself before you decide to indulge in such a relationship.
If you think that you aren’t ready to face everything that comes with that relationship, don’t even start it because someone will most definitely get hurt eventually.
É mau sair com um homem que tem um filho?
It’s hard, but I could never say that it’s bad or not worth it. There are many advantages of dating a guy with kids, especially if you’re aiming for a serious and committed relationship.
É claro que haverá muita pressão, mas se o vosso amor for suficientemente forte, podem ultrapassar todos os obstáculos e criar a relação mais maravilhosa.
Só é preciso fazer um esforço mútuo para que as coisas funcionem e ter um pouco de paciência.
A relationship with a man who has kids will definitely be completely different from all of your past relationships, but who knows? It may also be your most beautiful one… it may also be your ‘happily ever after’.
No encerramento
Namorar um homem com filhos isn’t just being in a romantic relationship with someone; it’s also a huge responsibility. Há muitas coisas maravilhosas e outras não tão maravilhosas que vêm com ele.
There will be many obstacles, and many bridges that you’ll need to cross together. The good news is that when it comes to amor verdadeiro, nada é impossível e tudo vale a pena.
If you truly love him and feel that the love is being reciprocated, you need to accept him and everything that comes with him. And, I promise… one day, you’ll look back at everything you went through to be together and then you’ll know it was all worth it.
