Porque é que o meu ex não tentou contactar-me (+Como recuperá-lo)

One of the biggest questions known to mankind is “Why hasn’t my ex tried to contact me?” I know we’ve all been there, so you’re familiar with the drill.

Maybe you don’t ask yourself this the very next day after the break-up.

No entanto, no momento em que a cabeça arrefece um pouco, cai-se num abismo interminável de incerteza, antecipação e excesso de pensamento.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a dumpee or a dumper – either way, you’ll wonder the same things over and over again.

Why hasn’t my ex tried to contact me? Are they over me so quickly? 

Estão a planear telefonar? Quando é que isso vai acontecer? Quando verei o seu nome no ecrã do meu telemóvel? Quando é que os meus tormentos vão acabar?

Well, luckily for you, a relationship expert has the answers to all of your questions. Not only that: you’ll also get a step-by-step guide on how to make your ex reach out first.

10 Brutally Honest Reasons Why Your Ex Hasn’t Reached Out

I’m warning you: you won’t be happy to hear some of the reasons listed below. But hey, it’s always better to know the truth than to keep on living in a lie.

They’re as stubborn as a mule.

Dizem que O orgulho será sempre a maior distância entre duas pessoas.

Well, knowing this, hearing that the number one reason why people don’t reach out to their exes despite their feelings is that stubbornness won’t come to you as a surprise.

É provável que o mesmo aconteça com o seu ex-namorado ou ex-namorada.

Aí estás tu, sem notícias deles. Naturalmente, supõe que se esqueceram da sua existência e que deixaram de o amar.

Talvez tenham encontrado alguém novo ou nunca tenham gostado de si.

But, the truth is quite different. In fact, they feel the same way you do – they just chose to ignore their heart’s desires.

O seu ex decidiu firmemente não entrar em contacto consigo. É claro que não há muitas pessoas que consigam ultrapassar as suas decisões.

Se o o amor é realMais cedo ou mais tarde, vão perceber que a teimosia e a estupidez são gémeas. Yes, they’re hurting you with this behavior.

Nevertheless, they’re also breaking their own heart. They’re hurting themselves in the process, and that can’t last for very long.

Of course, this doesn’t apply to everyone. You’re the one who knows this person to the core of their personality.

Therefore, you’re the only one who can give the answer to the question: “Can they keep their word?”

RELACIONADO: O que é que ele está a pensar durante a ausência de contacto? (8 Pensamentos mais comuns)

Como resolver este problema?

If your ex is just stubborn – the worst thing you can do is insist on voltar a juntar-se. This way, they’ll get the impression that their tactic is being fruitful and they’ll just go on with their behavior patterns.

By begging them to come back to you, you’re giving wind to their wings. Instead, just ignore this childish behavior and patiently wait for them to knock on your door.

No entanto, há uma grande diferença entre ser teimoso e ser determinado. Será possível que eles tenham tomado uma decisão por alguma razão?

Maybe your ex decided that they don’t want you back because you two are not compatible, or maybe it’s obvious that you have no future together.

Sim, talvez ainda gostem de si, mas, neste caso, estão decididos e tem poucas hipóteses de os fazer mudar de ideias.

RELACIONADO: Ele bloqueou-me: O que é que isso significa e o que fazer em relação a isso

They’re fighting a battle within.

When you wonder why your ex hasn’t tried to contact you, you don’t try to take a walk in their shoes. Instead, you focus on your feelings and your own dilemmas.

Entretanto, imagina-os felizes e contentes com a sua vida. Presume que o facto de não lhe telefonar equivale a não pensar em si.

Don’t misunderstand me: there is nothing wrong with your mindset. You’re so overwhelmed with pain that you can’t get a hold of the broader picture, which is perfectly understandable.

But, is it possible that your ex is actually going through the same things you are? Is it possible that they’re fighting a battle within, which nobody has a clue about?

Just because they don’t go around complaining to your mutual friends about you doesn’t mean that they’re indifferent.

Just because their social media status updates don’t reveal their sadness doesn’t mean that they’re overjoyed with your break-up.

In this case, your ex still hasn’t made up their mind. They’re probably struggling not to call you every single day.

On one hand, they don’t see it as a good idea. They are either afraid of you two splitting up again or they are scared of not getting any positive feedback from you.

On the other hand, it’s clear that eles ainda te amam. Their emotions aren’t going anywhere no matter how much they try to chase them away.

Como resolver este problema?

Neste cenário, não há nada de errado em dar um empurrãozinho ao seu ex. They’re at the crossroads, and you’re the only one who can help them resolve this puzzle in their heart and mind.

I’m not saying that you should contact them first. But, you can give them a sign that you two still want the same things.

Have someone indirectly tell your ex that you would love to hear from them or just use your social media profiles to your advantage – whatever it takes to clear their doubts away.

A raiva domina-os.

When a relationship ends, it’s a part of human nature to blame the other party for things going downhill. More than anywhere, this happens after romantic breakups.

This attitude doesn’t necessarily make you a pessoa tóxica. You are just seeing things from your own point of view, and you can’t grasp the idea that you might be the bad guy in the story.

O mesmo aconteceu com a vossa relação. Agora que acabou, está a colocar toda a culpa no seu ex.

Consequently, you are convinced that they should be the one to reach out first. So, you’re sitting, overwhelmed with sadness, and wondering why your ex hasn’t tried to contact you.

Afinal de contas, cometeram um erro e, normalmente, devem dar o primeiro passo. But, have you ever asked yourself: “What if things are actually different?”

This doesn’t have to mean that objectively, you’re guilty of your breakup. Nevertheless, from your ex’s point of view, all the blame is on you.

Talvez tenha feito algo para os afastar. Talvez ela ainda tenha sentimentos fortes por si, mas esteja cega pela raiva.

Is it possible that your ex is holding grudges over your actions? Is it possible that they’re full of resentment?

Most importantly: is it possible that they’re not wrong? Is it possible that they have the right to be angry and that you really did something to hurt their feelings?

Como resolver este problema?

Once you give yourself the answers to these questions, you’ll know what to do. Please be honest because this is the moment in which you decide your relationship’s destiny.

If your ex is angry without a proper reason – there is nothing you can do.

Bem, tecnicamente, pode tentar justificar as suas acções e explicar-se a eles, mas confie em mim, it’s better to leave them be and give them time to understand how foolish they are.

Por outro lado, se realmente cometeu um erro e feriu os seus sentimentos de alguma forma, então tens de pedir desculpa. Don’t beg them for a second chance – just tell them that you’re sorry.

Mais importante ainda: reconheça as suas emoções. Diga-lhes que compreende a sua raiva e que têm todo o direito de se sentirem assim.

They don’t want to be needy.

It doesn’t matter if you’re dealing with an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend – what you have to be aware of is that some people are insecure.

Lutam com uma baixa autoestima e pensam que são não foi feito para ser amado por mais atenção e cuidados que lhes dediquemos.

Therefore, there is a great possibility that your ex doesn’t want to reach out because of one simple reason: they don’t want to appear needy and pegajoso.

Isto é perfeitamente razoável se foi a pessoa que terminou a relação.

After all, you left them behind and you decided that you couldn’t keep on with your romance, so it’s natural that they don’t want to call you.

Neste caso, o seu ex é provavelmente um pensador excessivo que precisa de algum tipo de validação da sua parte antes de fazer qualquer coisa.

Sempre que pensam em contactá-lo, passam-lhes pela cabeça uma centena de cenários diferentes e cada um deles tem um resultado negativo.

Vêem-no a olhar para o telemóvel e a ignorar deliberadamente as suas chamadas. Vêem-no a gozar com eles e a rir-se das suas textos de amor com os seus amigos.

Naturally, they don’t want to look like a pathetic loser who can’t get over you while you moved on ages ago.

They don’t want you to think of them as a stalker who refuses to accept that things have been over long ago.

Como resolver este problema?

On the other hand, you and I both know that this couldn’t be further from the truth.

It’s not just that you wouldn’t think of them as pitiful if they contacted you. Instead, a single phone call coming from this person would make you the happiest person in the world.

É exatamente por isso que é preciso dar-lhes uma pequena dica.

É preciso encontrar uma forma de os inspirar a virem ter connosco e fazer com que eles saibam que nunca os veria como necessitados ou pegajosos, independentemente do que façam.

Precisam de algum tempo para pensar.

Just because you know where you stand with your emotions doesn’t necessarily mean that your ex is on the same page.

No, this is not the sign that they stopped loving you – maybe they just don’t know what they want.

You see, this breakup doesn’t have to be final. Instead, you can see it as a break – a chance for you both to think.

A vossa relação tem vindo a tornar-se séria ultimamente. Agora, o seu ex chegou a um ponto em que tem de decidir se a relação é a sério.

Forget about the fairytales and romantic movies where people know that they’re destinado a ser desde o início.

Isto é a vida real e não há nada de errado com o facto de alguém querer clarificar a sua mente antes de tomar a decisão final.

Como resolver este problema?

Some people find this insulting. After all, you have no doubts about your ex being the one, while they’re having second thoughts. So, it’s clear that you’re the one who adora mais, isn’t it?

You don’t want to sit around and wait for your ex to make up their mind about you. This kind of situation will leave you humiliated.

You don’t want to put your life on hold, and that’s your right. You appreciate your dignity over everything else, and nobody can judge you for feeling this way.

Por outro lado, if you are ready to wait for your ex to think things through, then there is absolutely nothing you can do except – WAIT. Dê-lhes tempo para pensar e espere o melhor resultado.

But, don’t give them all the time in the world. Don’t turn into their safety net.

Instead, give yourself a deadline. If they don’t come to you with a decision up to that date, then turn around and never look back.

Jogos mentais.

When you’re involved with a toxic guy or girl, every little thing about your relationship is a big mind game.

The worst part is that the drama doesn’t end the moment your relationship does. Instead, it goes on and on for a long time after your breakup.

Actually, your ex doesn’t have to be toxic in order for things to turn out this way. It will be more than enough to have an immature ex who thinks that real love equals an emotional rollercoaster.

Either way, the bottom line is that the answer to your question, “Why hasn’t my ex tried to contact me?”, is actually pretty simple: they’re playing mind games.

Quer se goste ou não, há quem goste destes quente e frio situações mais do que gostam de estar numa relação estável.

Se não houver agitação, rapidamente entram numa rotina e ficam aborrecidos num instante.

Por isso, iniciam uma separação só para que vocês os dois possam entrar noutro jogo do gato e do rato.

They’re not aware of how unhealthy these padrões de relacionamento perseguidor-distanciador são, e não vêem nada de errado neste comportamento, desde que isso os faça sentir vivos.

Everything is clear: if your ex is prone to these games, then they’re playing them now as well. They’re pretending to be hard to get, and this entire situation amuses them while it’s tearing you apart.

The most difficult part is determining whether they’re really not into you or are just playing. The answer is simple: if they keep on sending you mixed signals, then it is nothing but a game.

Como resolver este problema?

Bem, it’s time to beat them at their own game. Basta alinhar e deixá-los mais confusos do que nunca.

Inverta a situação e coloque-os na sua posição: deixe que sejam eles a analisar os seus movimentos, para variar. Aja de forma inconsistente, envie-lhes sinais contraditórios e faça-os pensar o que é que você quer.

Of course, that is, if you enjoy playing. On the other hand, if you’re sick and tired of this kind of relationship, then let your ex have fun on their own.

Whatever you do, just be aware that these people never change. They won’t get enough of their little games no matter what you do.

Basicamente, you have two choices: you’ll either dance along or you’ll dance away.

Relacionadas: Porque é que o meu ex me odeia quando me deixou? 13 razões secretas

They’re waiting for your move.

Esta anda de mãos dadas com a teimosia e o orgulho. A verdade é que o seu ex está à espera da sua mudança.

Let’s be honest: you’re trying to come up with different ways to get your ex voltar. You’re ready to do whatever it takes except for one thing: reaching out to them first.

What does this make you? Proud and stubborn, that’s right.

Well, why wouldn’t you consider the possibility that your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend feels the same way?

Talvez they’re waiting for you to come back – the same way you expect them to show up at your doorstep.

Como resolver este problema?

Esta parece ser uma situação de perda. One of you will have to back up; otherwise, you’ll spend eternity waiting for the other person to walk over their pride and make the first step.

Who should do it? Well, the dumper or the one who’s carrying the biggest blame for the breakup (which is usually the same person).

If your ex left you, then you shouldn’t reach out to them first. Otherwise, you’ll always have your doubts.

Even if you two reconcile, you’ll never be sure about their feelings. Would they ever call you if you hadn’t sent them essa mensagem de texto dizer-lhes que tem saudades deles?

Será que são perfeitamente capazes de viver sem si? Voltaram para ti porque te amam ou apenas porque eras conveniente num determinado momento?

On the other hand, if you’re the one who has made the mistake or if you’re the dumper – then you have to be the one to ask for a second chance.

I don’t care whether you’re male or female. Trust me: there is nothing wrong with a woman making the first move.

If you can’t forget your ex despite all of your attempts – I say go for it. You’re not miserable for trying to get back together with them. Instead, you’re brave for taking this risk.

No matter the outcome, at least you’ll always know that you tried. You won’t spend the rest of your life haunted by all the what ifs.

Isto é vingança.

Once more, it’s time for some introspection. Time to look at things realistically, and be fair and honest towards your behavior in your relationship.

If you broke your ex’s heart or left them emocionalmente afetado de qualquer forma, então o facto de o ignorarem pode ser apenas uma vingança. They’re just giving you a dose of your own medicine.

This person will probably come back to you. But, their pride doesn’t allow this to happen so fast.
Em primeiro lugar, querem magoar-vos. Querem que sintas a mesma quantidade de dor que eles sentiram.

They want to show you that you can’t play with their feelings the way you want. Moreover, they want respect.

They want you to understand that they won’t be there for you no matter how you treat them. They want you to realize that counting on them at all times and taking them for granted was the mistake of your life.

Now, you ask yourself if this person even loves you when they’re capable of treating you this way. Well, if you really did do them harm – I hate to be the one to tell you, but you had it coming.

Estas são as consequências dos seus actos. Merece este tipo de comportamento e não tem o direito de se queixar muito dele.

Yes, they love you – they just love themselves more, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. If nothing else, at least you know that they’re not indifferent.

Como resolver este problema?

Your ex’s revenge is not a sign of hatred. They’re not behaving in this manner to chase you away.
Em vez disso, it is their cry. It’s their desperate plea for you to change your ways.

So, if you want to get your ex back, you’ll have to show them that you really are different now. Whether you like it or not, you’ll have to make them think that you’ve learned your lesson.

Confie em mim: eles nunca darão uma segunda oportunidade à sua relação até que o seu ego quebrado esteja de volta ao seu lugar.

E, a única maneira de isso acontecer é vocês os dois serem iguais: ambos estarem magoados e com o coração partido.

Só quando a sua ex deixar de se sentir emocionalmente submissa e só quando tiver a impressão de que a sua vingança está concluída é que voltará para si.

They’re trying to heal.

When you’re wondering: “Why hasn’t my ex tried to contact me?”, sometimes the answer is that, at the same time, they’re trying to figure out como seguir em frente.

It’s not that they’re aplicação da regra de não contacto para vos fazer sentir a sua ausência.

Não estão a jogar difícil de obter; they’re not doing all of this to make you chase them nor are they waiting for your move. Instead, they’re doing their best to heal their broken heart.

Naturalmente, a forma mais eficaz de o fazer é cortar todos os laços consigo e com todos os que lhe estão ligados. The grieving period is over, and now they’re doing their best to rebuild their life without you in it.

Contacting you would mean slipping back. It would mean making two steps backward and ruining all the progress they’ve made so far.

This person is also fighting battles within. But, in this case, they’re not having second thoughts about what to do.

Em vez disso, eles sabem qual é a escolha correcta. A sua mente não tem dúvidas de que deve ser deixado no passado, onde pertence.

No entanto, o seu coração recusa-se a obedecer. Sentem a sua falta e continuam a ter sentimentos fortes por si, mas estão perfeitamente conscientes de que a vossa relação é condenado ao fracasso.

Como resolver este problema?

Olhando para as coisas de um ponto de vista otimista, o seu ex ainda gosta de si. Por isso, nem tudo está perdido.

On the other hand, if they’re determined to make you history, then they’ve made that choice for a valid reason. In that case, you’ll have to fight against real-life circumstances.

I don’t know if these are your personality traits, your incompatibility, or something that happened in the past. Either way, these are the obstacles you’ll have to overcome in order to get to your ex.

Por conseguinte, será necessário muito mais do que uma simples mensagem de texto ou um telefonema para os persuadir a seguir o seu coração em vez do seu cérebro.

They simply don’t care.

Finally, we’ve come to the part you’d rather not hear about. Look, when we love someone, there is always this undying hope that the other person feels the same way about us.

We are human beings and this hope is what keeps us alive. You’re no exception.

From the moment you and your ex broke up, you have kept expecting their return. After all, your emotions for them haven’t changed a bit.

Instead, they might have even grown stronger. Now that you’re forced to live without them, you realize how much this person actually means to you.

Então, passamos por todos os cenários possíveis, exceto aquele em que o nosso ex deixou de gostar de nós. Ei, desculpe por quebrar a sua bolha, mas essas coisas também acontecem, você sabe disso, certo?

Sometimes, there are no mixed signals – no applying the no contact rule to get you back, no hidden messages, and no mind games. Sometimes, they’re just já não gosto assim tanto de ti.

Sei que essa pessoa te amou até à lua e de volta. Vocês partilharam tantas recordações fantásticas e juraram amor eterno.

But, all of that is sadly over. Maybe they stopped loving you while you two were together, or else the time apart showed them that they’re better off without you. Either way – as suas emoções estão mortas.

Como resolver este problema?

That doesn’t mean you can’t revive them, será? Antes de mais, é preciso saber se o seu ex está ou não numa nova relação.

If they’re still single, you won’t have a hard time winning them back. You just have to remind them of all the reasons why they fell in love with you.

Be the person you were at the beginning of your relationship and they’ll be all yours in no time. On the other hand, if they are dating someone new, get to the bottom of this romance.

Trata-se de uma relação séria? É à distância ou estão sempre a ver a nova namorada ou namorado?
São exclusivos? Qual é a sua duração?

Most importantly: is this just a rebound relationship? Is your ex using this person as a cover for their self-deceptions in which they’re over you?

If this is the case, then you’ll just have to show them that you’re nowhere to be found. They can spend a lifetime à sua procura noutras mulheres or men, but you’re one of a kind.

No entanto, prepare-se para um cenário em que eles realmente encontraram o amor da sua vida.

Maybe they’ve met their soulmate, and if that is so, then all you can do is let go. Let them be happy without intruding as much as it might hurt.

Nove truques de magia para fazer com que o seu ex volte a falar consigo

Now that you got your question, “Why hasn’t my ex tried to contact me,” answered, it’s time to get the job done all the way.

Aqui está o guia definitivo para conseguir que a sua ex dê o primeiro passo sem que tenha de fazer nada.

Analisem a vossa relação de forma realista.

Now that you’ve survived the first few months of no contact with your ex, you’re no longer impassioned by everything that has happened. At least, you shouldn’t be.

This doesn’t mean that you’re sobre eles – it’s just that this no contact period was a chance to observe your relationship from a safe time distance.

For the first time ever, you’re no longer blinded by the love you feel for them.

Finally, after a lot of time, you can answer the ultimate question: “Can you imagine your life with this person by your side?” I’m begging you to disregard your ego now.

Esquece quem deixou quem. Esquece a vingança e a conclusão.

Faz o teu melhor para perceberes se queres mesmo voltar a estar com a pessoa amada. Consegue ver-se a ultrapassá-los em breve? Ou, vê-os verdadeiramente como a o amor da sua vida?

Now that we have that covered, it’s time to rethink the breakup. Let’s try and disregard your emotions here.

O facto é que vocês acabaram por uma razão. Qual foi essa razão? E o mais importante: é algo que pode ser resolvido?

É que há uma grande diferença entre acabar uma relação no calor de um momento e fazê-lo porque a sua relação ficou abalada durante algum tempo.

Maybe you two had an argument that went too far. Maybe you can’t even remember how it all started. But, some things were said, you’re both proud, and just like that, your two-year relationship has ended.

In this case, getting back together is the right choice. As soon as one of you makes the first step, you’ll make your relationship work in no time.

Nevertheless, it’s completely different if you split ways for a reasonable cause. It’s different if there are red flags indicating that your romance can’t succeed, but you just refused to see them.

If this is what happened, then ask yourself whether this time will be any different. Pretend that you’re giving a piece of advice to a friend.

Se alguém te contasse a tua história de amor, aconselharias essa pessoa a tentar resolver a sua relação falhada? Or, would you tell them to let go of the love they feel and accept the fact that it’s over?

Melhore-se a si próprio.

The no contact period isn’t there just to make your ex miss you. Instead, it should serve you a chance to work on yourself.

Afinal de contas, the worst thing you can do is put your life on hold while you’re waiting for things to go back to their old ways. Abanar o seu vida de solteiro e tirar o melhor partido dela.

You haven’t seen or heard from your ex in ages, so you guess they can’t possibly know whether you’re crying yourself to sleep or enjoying every moment like it’s your last. But, trust me, you’re wrong.

Whether you believe it or not, they do feel your vibe. They will sense if you’re desperate, and that will just chase them away even further.

How many times have you heard stories of people reappearing in their exes lives the moment they forgot all about them? Well, that’s the energy I’m talking about.

If your ex notices or senses that you’ve moved on with your life, fear will awaken inside of them. They’ll get scared that you’re moving on from them.

They’ll start to feel replaceable, and they’ll do everything in their power to prevent you from forgetting all about them. Sounds toxic, I know, but this is the effect you want to achieve.

Besides, even if you don’t make your failed relationship work, at least you’ll know you’ve used this period for something good.

You didn’t waste your time looking at your phone and expecting a text message that would never come.
Em vez disso, reconstruiu-se. Tornaste-te na pessoa que estavas destinada a ser desde o início.

E a melhor parte é que, quando cuidamos de nós próprios, também trabalhamos a nossa autoestima.

Utilize este tempo para se concentrar nas suas qualidades. I’m not forcing you to stop loving your ex – just start loving yourself more.

Confie em mim: assim que se aperceberem disso, seguir-se-ão e dar-lhe-ão finalmente o tratamento que merece.

Don’t be at arm’s reach.

Once you build your self-esteem, you’ll understand the importance of not being too available to your ex. Look, they’re just a human being, and we human beings are actually pretty simple.

Assim que vemos que podemos ter alguém sempre que nos apetece, essa pessoa deixa de ser interessante.

The moment your ex sees that they don’t have to put effort into having you back – they’ll start taking you for granted.

Why would they waste their energy in fighting for you when you’re always at arm’s reach? Instead, they’ll continue enjoying their single life and exploring their options.

After all, no matter what happens and no matter how much time goes by, you’ll always be there patiently waiting for them.

You’ll welcome them back in your life open-handedly as if they left last week and not last year.

I’m sure you get the picture. They are very sure that they’ll never lose you and that there is nothing they can do to make you stop loving them.

Bem, é por isso que deve abanar o seu mundo. O seu ex tem de sentir a sua ausência para poder apreciar a sua presença.

É preciso fazê-los preocupar-me em perder-te permanentemente.

Transforme as redes sociais na sua arma de destruição.

As redes sociais são uma parte importante de qualquer relação. Mas tornam-se ainda mais importantes no momento em que uma relação termina.

Por isso, se me perguntarem se devem deixar de ser amigos e de seguir o vosso ex, a resposta será sempre não. Claro, a menos que ainda o queira de volta.

Tem de utilizar as redes sociais como a sua principal arma. Basicamente, os seus perfis dão-lhe a oportunidade de virar a mesa a seu favor sem sair da sua cama.

As opções são infinitas. You can make your ex jealous while sitting in your PJs. You can make them wonder if you’ve moved on without actually moving an inch.

The crucial thing here is to play your cards right. Please, don’t even think of posting sad status updates or songs that remind you of your ex.

By doing this, they’ll see you as desperate. Besides, you’ll look like a coward. It’s more than obvious that you miss them like hell, but you’re not doing anything about it.

Em vez disso, use social media to make your ex realize that you’re living your best life. Post selfies with a huge smile on your face, go out as much as you can, and don’t forget to travel.

But, don’t forget to provocá-los também. Publique algo que os faça pensar. Esta música no fundo do seu vídeo é uma coincidência? Ou está a enviar-lhes uma mensagem?

Is that your new boyfriend or girlfriend’s arm in that new photo you posted? Or, are you out with your best friend as usual?

Estará a usar deliberadamente aquela camisa que tinha vestida da última vez que estiveram juntos? Ou será que estão a pensar demais e a imaginar coisas?

The examples are endless, but I’m sure you get the point. Your final goal is to make your ex analyze your every move.

Make them wonder, and that will arouse their interest in you. Sounds like a heck of a plan, doesn’t it? Well, all you have to do is put it in motion.

Dá-lhe algum tempo.

O truque do regra de não contacto is that it doesn’t give you any results overnight. In fact, even days of no contact won’t make any changes. Instead, you have to give it a couple of months, or at least, weeks.

I know that you want to hear from your ex the very next day after your breakup, but sadly, things don’t work out that way.

As much as this hurts, you’ll have to let time do its magic. Give your ex a chance to sentir a tua falta e para ver como seria a sua vida sem si.

Besides, if this approach doesn’t work out the way you have planned, I promise that you’ll heal during this period.

You won’t notice it right away, but before you know it, you’ll see that you managed to survive without them against all odds.

De qualquer forma, tirar algum tempo para a vossa relação vai fazer-vos bem. Os dois vão perceber que podem estar separados ou que querem passar o resto das vossas vidas juntos.

Quebrar o silêncio.

I know that the last thing you want to do while wondering “Why hasn’t my ex tried to contact me?” is to be the one who contacts them. Nevertheless, sometimes, you have no other choice.

A couple of months has passed, but there is still no sign of them. You’ve been getting some clues, but nothing significant has occurred.

Antes de mais, quero que saibas que dar o primeiro passo nunca é patético.

Sometimes, this roller coaster you got yourself involved in gets out of hand, and you get to the point where you can’t stand still, waiting for a miracle that isn’t coming.

Therefore, if they haven’t reached out after the no contact period, then it’s time to check whether your ex wants you back or not.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not advising you to send them an essay telling them that you can’t live without them and warning them that you won’t survive this heartbreak they’ve put you through.

Sei que provavelmente tem vontade de fazer exatamente isso, mas isso pode afugentá-los.

If you have the need to express your emotions, then put them on a piece of paper or talk to your best friend – this is still not the moment to declare your everlasting love to the object of your affection.

Besides, you have no idea if they’ve moved on. Maybe they’re in a serious relationship and you don’t want to appear a fool by wearing your heart on a sleeve just like that.

Em vez disso, encontrar uma desculpa para quebrar o silêncio.

Ask them for a favor they can’t refuse, tell them that you ran into some of their old stuff and that you were wondering if they want it back, or even wish them a happy birthday.

Seja breve e conciso, mas não demasiado formal. Deixe espaço para uma comunicação posterior, mas deixe-os na dúvida sobre as suas verdadeiras intenções.

Utilize a curiosidade a seu favor.

Once you contact your ex, they can’t be sure about what you really want unless you want to risk them losing interest right away.

Em vez disso, provoque-os. Seja suficientemente inteligente para usar a curiosidade a seu favor.

For example, instead of telling them that you want your stuff back, just text them something like “Hey, what’s up?” Don’t forget to add a smiley face.

This way, they’ll have to respond. Trust me: your ex wants to know what’s inside your head.

Do you need something from them? Does this text have a purpose? Are you about to tell them how much you miss them? Or, do you just want to see what they’ve been up to?

Once they do respond, you’ll see the direction in which the conversation is going.

Are they being formal? Does it look like they were waiting for this text? Are they keeping the communication alive? Or, perhaps they can’t wait to get rid of you?

On the other hand, if they don’t respond, you still have an ace in your sleeve. Now, you can use the excuse from the beginning of the story.

Do you see what you did there? You just tested the grounds, but avoided the risk of being humiliated in the case that they’re not interested.

O efeito Zeigarnik.

De acordo com o efeito Zeigarnik, it’s in every human being’s nature to recall the unfinished tasks and activities rather than the finished ones.

What does this have to do with getting my ex back, you’re probably wondering.

Bem, surpreendentemente, muito. Se seguires esta lógica, you’ll interrupt your conversation in the middle of it – just as things are starting to heat up.

You won’t just disappear, but if you’re texting, you’ll tell them something like: “Hey, sorry, I have to go. It was nice hearing from you. Take care.”

The crucial thing is to do this out of the blue. This way, you’ll leave them confused.

Your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend will feel like there are still some things left unsaid. Your entire drama is unresolved and he’ll get the urge to finish it one way or another.

So, I’ll bet you on this one: they will contact you. It doesn’t have to happen the next day, but sometime soon, you’ll see their name on your screen.

Sounds like magic, I know. Nevertheless, it’s actually science and you should use it in your favor.

Dêem-lhes uma nova oportunidade.

As much as you’d like to, you can’t use this trick forever. Yes, it’s effective in the beginning, but with time, all of it turns into endless mind games that will lead you nowhere.

Sooner or later, you’ll have to end this charade. You’ll either get back together or finish things once and for all.

Either way, it’s your job to give your ex a clean slate. No, you’re not doing this just for them.

In the first place, you’re doing it for your own well-being. You’re doing it to give yourself the encerramento de que precisa desesperadamente.

Enough with the games: it’s time for some grown-up talk. If you two still haven’t reconciled up to now, then come clean about your feelings and intentions.

Don’t worry: they’re already hooked, and if they plan on getting back together with you, they will give your relationship a second chance.

On the other hand, if they refuse your offer, then at least you’ll know where you stand. Basically, it’s a win-win situation.

Para terminar:

I won’t lie to you – there is no magic answer to the question “Why hasn’t my ex tried to contact me?” Everyone is different, and there is a list of causes hiding behind their behavior.

Your job is to figure out which of the reasons mentioned above can be applied to your situation. Once you do that, you’re halfway towards your goal!