15 sinais claros de que o teu ex te está a testar (+como lidar com isso)

Porque é que o seu ex ainda está na sua vida sem qualquer intenção de se ir embora? Estão a brincar com a sua mente de propósito, ou estão a contemplar a ideia de voltar a juntar-se consigo?

There is a thin line between these two things. It’s pretty difficult to distinguish between a toxic person who is toying with you and someone trying to decide whether your relationship deserves a retake.

Então, qual é a diferença? Quais são os sinais de que o seu ex a está a testar?

Don’t worry, honey, I got you covered. Check out these clues and see for yourself!

Sinais de que o teu ex te está a testar

O meu ex está a testar-me? Se se identificar com todos ou com a maior parte destes padrões de comportamento, é porque estão mesmo!

1. Tentar fazer-te ciúmes

Um dos primeiros sinais de que o seu ex está a testá-lo é se ele fizer o possível para fazer-te ciúmes. I know what you must be thinking right now: But they’re happy in a new relationship?

Deixem-me que vos diga desde já uma coisa: isto não passa de uma enorme mentira. Trust me, if they’re really in love, they wouldn’t care if you were updated about it or not.

No entanto, o que é que o seu ex faz? Coloca toda a sua energia em fazer com que você descubra a sua alegada felicidade.

If they run into your best friend, they’ll tell them everything about their new romance. They keep on posting new selfies all over their social media platforms, waiting for your reaction.

Uma coisa é certa: o teu ex quer-te de volta; otherwise, they wouldn’t be doing all of this in the first place. They’re clearly in a rebound relationship since they haven’t gotten over you just yet.

If you show them jealousy, it will be a sign that you still care. A sign that they’re safe to ditch this new person and make a move on you.

2. Escavar o passado

Let’s face it – you two broke up for a reason. Well, if your ex is a mature person, they’ll want to get rid of this emotional baggage before renewing your relationship.

Sometimes, it seems like they’re digging through the past without an actual purpose or just to break your heart even more. Trust me, one of the common reasons behind this kind of behavior is that they’re setting the record straight before giving your romance a second chance.

O seu ex voltará once they’re sure that you’re both over everything that has happened, and it’s your job to show them that you’re now a changed person.

After all, what’s the point of getting back together if you keep on going back to the hard times you had in the past? Now is the time to show them that you’re perfectly aware of your mistakes and that you don’t plan on repeating them.

Of course, this kind of behavior can be a sign that your ex is only looking for closure. In that case, they wouldn’t show all the other signs from this list!

3. Tentar dormir contigo

Here’s a tough one. You and your ex are on good terms, but lately, they’ve been acting differently. You can see through it, though – they’re trying to get you into bed.

I have to admit – this is a tricky decision. On the one hand, you can see it as a sign your ex misses you and wants to voltar a juntar-se.

Mas, ao mesmo tempo, também pode ser uma armadilha. E se planearem utilizando-o e nunca mais te ligar?

If I were you, I’d see this as one of the signs your ex is testing you. They’re trying to understand if they can have you whenever they feel like it and if you’ll give them everything they’re looking for.

It’s one thing if you’re only after physical pleasure. But here’s some relationship advice if your final goal is reconciliation: don’t do it, especially if they have a new boyfriend or girlfriend.

Every relationship expert will tell you pretty much the same thing: make it clear that they can’t only get parts of you. You’re a whole package, and your body doesn’t come without any strings attached.

4. Não estabelecer contacto

The no contact rule – the universal way to fazer com que um ex sinta a sua falta. Seu o ex finge que já o esqueceu e desaparece da nossa vida apenas para nos dar a oportunidade de sentir a sua ausência.

They clearly need validation from you. Trust me, they’re sitting at home, patiently waiting for you to make a move and reach out to them.

If they follow the no contact rule strictly, they won’t contact you first, even if their life depends on it. On the contrary, they’re waiting to see if you’ll do anything about it.

This person probably feels like you take them for granted. Maybe you assume that they’ll always be around no matter what happens, and they’re trying to prove you otherwise.

Vai contactar a pessoa? Ou vai esperar que a regra de não contacto expire? Tudo depende de si!

5. Perguntas profundas e pessoais

O seu a ex tem estado a telefonar e a enviar mensagens with seemingly weird questions lately. They’re tackling topics they’ve never dealt with before.

Bem, já pensaste que o facto de o teu ex te testar é, na verdade, uma forma de ele te conhecer de novo? Isto é especialmente verdade se vocês acabaram há algum tempo.

Querem saber qual é a sua posição relativamente a algumas questões importantes. Mudou de opinião sobre certas coisas que os incomodavam no passado?

Here’s some great news: it’s possible they’ve realized you’re marriage material, so that’s why they’re testing the waters. They ainda sinto algo por ti – there is no doubt about that.

No entanto, querem certificar-se de que you’re compatible as well. They’re asking you all these questões pessoais profundas para verificar a sua atitude em relação às coisas que lhes interessam.

6. Jogos quentes e frios

Eu sei que todos nós odiamos jogos mentais You don’t know where you stand, and you have no idea what might happen tomorrow. Your ex is anything but consistent when it comes to how they treat you.

One day, they act like they’d die to get back together with you. To be exact, it sometimes seems like nothing has changed, and it’s as if you’re just continuing where you left off.

Mas depois temos o outro lado da questão história quente e fria. Há alturas em que o seu ex não está em lado nenhum.

De repente, eles deixar de responder às suas mensagens and calls, and they don’t ask to meet up. They no longer text you or check in, and even your mutual friends don’t know what’s gotten into them.

And just when you make peace with the fact that they’re out of the picture for good, they make a great comeback! Before you know it, you’re back to square one, and the cycle begins all over again.

Será este um dos sinais de que o teu ex te está a testar? Sem dúvida que sim!

But please be careful, as this might not be the kind of test you’re hoping to get from them. It’s possible that they’re actually just trying to see how far they can go without you walking away for good.

7. O teste de lealdade

Todos os treinadores de relações dir-lhe-ão o mesmo: se o seu O ex quer voltar a namorar, they’ll expect you to remain loyal during the breakup. When I mention loyalty, I’m not talking about staying faithful.

Of course, they’ll be hurt if they find out you had a new relationship in the meantime. However, loyalty is much more important than this.

O seu ex vai verificar se ainda pode contar consigo. Violou a sua confiança mesmo quando estavam separados?

Fez algo considerado fora dos limites, como sair com um amigo comum? Falou mal do seu ex e de toda a vossa relação após a separação?

They might talk to you about these things directly, or they might ask around. Either way, if you pass the loyalty test, you’ll likely get back together.

8. Utilização de plataformas de redes sociais

Let’s face it: your ex keeps on low-key stalking you. They’re not some kind of a psychopath who follows you around and stares through your windows at night. However, they use modern-day methods to keep track of your activities.

Yes, that’s right, I’m talking about social media. Nunca perdem as actualizações das suas histórias, gostam de todas as suas publicações e percorrem regularmente a sua lista de seguidores.

Of course, there is also a different group of exes who only lurk in the background. You are still friends on social media, but they pretend like you don’t exist.

Either type of behavior is a kind of test. First of all, they’re probably waiting for your reaction.

Será que vai ser o primeiro a deslizar para as suas DMs? Vai gostar das mensagens deles e continuar este pequeno jogo?

E, claro, será que vai publicar alguma coisa suspeita? Será que vão encontrar sinais de uma nova namorada ou namorado?

9. Dar-lhe o poder

Um dos sinais de que o seu ex a está a testar está relacionado com o facto de lhe dar a oportunidade de tomar uma decisão. Ele diz claramente as suas intenções, mas o poder está nas suas mãos.

They clearly want to see if you’ve grown since your breakup. How do you plan on making this happen?

Will you even move towards reconciliation? If the answer is yes, how will you resolve your issues? Clearly, you have some; otherwise, you’d still be together.

Tencionam levar as coisas com calma ou querem continuar com a vossa relação como se nada tivesse acontecido?

You’re in charge, so plan every step and think things through before acting on them!

10. O teste de sucesso

It’s when a relationship ends that you start to see your ex-partner more clearly. Well, that’s exactly what your ex has been doing during this time you two are apart.

They know that you’ve reached a crossroads: you’ll either break things off forever or turn this into a long-term relationship or even marriage.

Pode não ter visto a sua situação financeira e a sua carreira como algo importante quando estavam juntos, mas agora quer ver se alguma coisa mudou.

I’ll be honest with you: this is something women do more than men. But you can’t say: “My ex-girlfriend is a gold-digger” just because she puts you through a success test.

Basically, she’s checking whether you’ve moved from a dead spot. Did you find a better job or get a raise? Are you now more motivated to make something out of your life?

This doesn’t mean she’s only interested in your money. She just wants um homem financeiramente estável ao seu lado, um homem com quem possa planear o seu futuro.

11. Testar os seus limites

Por vezes, o teu ex continua a fazer-te coisas más e diferentes. They know you still love them, and they’re not testing to see if you’ll take them back – they’re testing your boundaries to see how much you can take.

They’ll be seeing other men and women without even trying to hide it. They’re disrespecting you in different ways and treat you like garbage.

Mas, ao mesmo tempo, impedem-te de te ires embora sempre que tentas afastar-te. Poder-se-ia pensar que não querem ter nada a ver contigo, mas ficam ao teu lado apesar de te fazerem passar por um inferno.

A dada altura, essa pessoa vai querer voltar a juntar-se with you – there is no doubt about that. But until that happens, they want to break you completely.

Basically, they’re baixar os seus padrões. Before you know it, you’ll settle for these breadcrumbs they’ve been tossing away at you.

So, you won’t ask for more in the future. Actually, you’ll be more than happy when they finally decide to put a label on your relationship.

12. Assumir o controlo

If you’re dealing with a toxic ex, they’ll use this period of separation to gain even more control over you. You miss them, and they know it.

Mesmo que se recuse a admiti-lo, a verdade é que faria praticamente tudo só para tê-los de volta. Sim, isso inclui aceitar o seu comportamento possessivo.

This time, they’re not checking your boundaries. Instead, they’re imposing their controlling limits on you.

Proíbem-no literalmente de sair com alguns amigos, pedem-lhe para apagar as suas redes sociais e controlam a sua vida de outras formas. No início, pode ver isso como um sinal de que eles ainda te amam. Caso contrário, porque é que eles seriam tão ciumentos?

Bem, deixem-me dizer-vos, this is a major red flag. They’re using your vulnerabilities to take complete charge of your life. And they’re testing you to see how far they can go.

Claro que, quando vocês os dois voltar a juntar-se e se aperceber do que está a fazer, será demasiado tarde para alterar os termos e condições.

13. Pedir a vossa ajuda

One of the signs your ex is testing you is that they’re still asking for your help. Don’t see this as their way of taking advantage of your kindness

Even though this is possible, it’s more likely that your ex is checking whether they can rely on your not. Obviously, this is only possible if you two stayed on good terms.

They keep on making excuses to reach out. You’re the only one whose advice they believe in and the only one who can give them a hand when they’re going through a hard time.

There is no doubt about one thing: your ex still holds a great deal of trust in you. But at the same time, they’re wondering if you’re still the same person who is ready to move mountains for their sake.

Se lhes mostrar que o é, isso é um bilhete de regresso à sua vida.

14. Concentrar-se na sua vida amorosa

Is my ex testing me to see if they’re interested in my love life? Definitely yes!

It’s clear o teu ex tem ciúmes, but at the same time, they’re not really doing anything special to get you back. What’s the deal with that?

Well, every relationship expert will give you the same answer: they’re literally letting you find someone new.

Are they doing it because they don’t love you and actually want you to move on? Absolutely not!

They don’t want to be the one you settle for if there is someone better out there for you. They don’t want to be convenient for you.

They want you to have options and to always choose them, no matter the competition. They want to know that you’d rather be alone than with someone else if you couldn’t have them.

15. Recordar os bons velhos tempos

Um bom sinal de que o teu ex te está a testar é que estão sempre a recordar os bons velhos tempos. Como é que vai reagir quando falarem do passado? Mudará de assunto ou começará a sorrir de uma forma sedutora?

Your reaction will tell them everything they need to know. But that’s not all.

Eles querem ver como é que tu vês tudo o que se passou entre vocês, do teu ponto de vista. Vê os seus erros e faria algo diferente?

Agora é a sua oportunidade!

Como saber se o seu ex está a testar as águas?

Se o seu ex quiser manter-se em contacto sob o pretexto de amigos restantes, they’re probably testing the waters. This is especially true if they keep on flirting with you and sending you sinais contraditórios.

They’re not asking for a second chance just yet, but they’re definitely trying to see if you’ll give them the green light to keep on trying to get you back.

Como saber se o seu ex está a tentar chamar a sua atenção?

If your ex is going out of their way to make you jealous, it’s a good sign that they’re actually trying to get your attention. Estão sempre a esfregar a sua nova relação na sua cara só para obterem uma reação da sua parte.

Also, they’re probably reaching out to your friends and family instead of calling you directly. Or they will just give you random chamadas de bêbado and text messages and pretend like nothing’s happened in the morning.

Como é que sabes se o teu ex te quer de volta em segredo?

Se o seu ex-namorado ou namorada quer voltar a juntar-se, they’ll do everything in their power to stay in your life. They’ll make excuses to see you or, at least, hear from you.

They’ll keep on reminding you of the good old days, trying to get you back with the help of nostalgia. This person will stalk your social media apps because they want to be up to date on what’s going on in your life.

And let’s not forget about their jealousy. They can’t handle the idea of you dating someone else because they still think of you as theirs.

Para terminar:

Todos os sinais de que o seu ex o está a testar estão aqui mesmo! Então, o que vais fazer em relação a isso?

Bem, tudo depende de como queres que isto acabe. Se tenciona recuperar a sua ex, certifique-se de que passa em todos os testes. Dê-lhe exatamente o que ela quer e convença-a de que a sua merece uma relação segunda oportunidade.

But if you don’t see a future here, don’t waste your precious time and energy on these mind games. What’s the point? Just cut them off and proceed to heal your broken heart.