15 señales claras de que tu ex te está poniendo a prueba (+cómo manejarlo)

¿Por qué tu ex sigue en tu vida sin intención de irse? ¿Están jugando con tu mente a propósito, o están contemplando la idea de volver a estar juntos ¿Contigo?

There is a thin line between these two things. It’s pretty difficult to distinguish between a toxic person who is toying with you and someone trying to decide whether your relationship deserves a retake.

Entonces, ¿cuál es la diferencia? ¿Cuáles son las señales de que tu ex te está poniendo a prueba?

Don’t worry, honey, I got you covered. Check out these clues and see for yourself!

Señales de que tu ex te está poniendo a prueba

¿Me está poniendo a prueba mi ex? Si te identificas con todos o la mayoría de estos patrones de comportamiento, ¡definitivamente lo son!

1. Intentar ponerte celoso

Una de las primeras señales de que tu ex te está poniendo a prueba es si hace todo lo posible por ponerte celoso. I know what you must be thinking right now: But they’re happy in a new relationship?

Permítanme decirles algo de inmediato: esto no es más que una gran mentira. Trust me, if they’re really in love, they wouldn’t care if you were updated about it or not.

Sin embargo, ¿qué hace tu ex? Ponen toda su energía en asegurarse de que te enteras de su supuesta felicidad.

If they run into your best friend, they’ll tell them everything about their new romance. They keep on posting new selfies all over their social media platforms, waiting for your reaction.

Una cosa es segura: tu ex quiere que vuelvas; otherwise, they wouldn’t be doing all of this in the first place. They’re clearly in a rebound relationship since they haven’t gotten over you just yet.

If you show them jealousy, it will be a sign that you still care. A sign that they’re safe to ditch this new person and make a move on you.

2. Escarbar en el pasado

Let’s face it – you two broke up for a reason. Well, if your ex is a mature person, they’ll want to get rid of this emotional baggage before renewing your relationship.

Sometimes, it seems like they’re digging through the past without an actual purpose or just to break your heart even more. Trust me, one of the common reasons behind this kind of behavior is that they’re setting the record straight before giving your romance a second chance.

Su ex volverá once they’re sure that you’re both over everything that has happened, and it’s your job to show them that you’re now a changed person.

After all, what’s the point of getting back together if you keep on going back to the hard times you had in the past? Now is the time to show them that you’re perfectly aware of your mistakes and that you don’t plan on repeating them.

Of course, this kind of behavior can be a sign that your ex is only looking for closure. In that case, they wouldn’t show all the other signs from this list!

3. Intentar acostarse contigo

Here’s a tough one. You and your ex are on good terms, but lately, they’ve been acting differently. You can see through it, though – they’re trying to get you into bed.

I have to admit – this is a tricky decision. On the one hand, you can see it as a sign your ex misses you and wants to volver juntos.

Pero, al mismo tiempo, también puede ser una trampa. ¿Y si planean usándote ¿y no volver a llamarte?

If I were you, I’d see this as one of the signs your ex is testing you. They’re trying to understand if they can have you whenever they feel like it and if you’ll give them everything they’re looking for.

It’s one thing if you’re only after physical pleasure. But here’s some relationship advice if your final goal is reconciliation: don’t do it, especially if they have a new boyfriend or girlfriend.

Every relationship expert will tell you pretty much the same thing: make it clear that they can’t only get parts of you. You’re a whole package, and your body doesn’t come without any strings attached.

4. Sin contacto

The no contact rule – the universal way to haz que un ex te eche de menos. Su ex finge haberte superado y desaparece de tu vida sólo para darte la oportunidad de sentir su ausencia.

They clearly need validation from you. Trust me, they’re sitting at home, patiently waiting for you to make a move and reach out to them.

If they follow the no contact rule strictly, they won’t contact you first, even if their life depends on it. On the contrary, they’re waiting to see if you’ll do anything about it.

This person probably feels like you take them for granted. Maybe you assume that they’ll always be around no matter what happens, and they’re trying to prove you otherwise.

¿Le tenderás la mano? ¿O esperarás a que expire la norma de no contacto? Todo depende de ti.

5. Preguntas profundas y personales

Su ex ha estado llamando y enviando mensajes de texto with seemingly weird questions lately. They’re tackling topics they’ve never dealt with before.

¿Has pensado alguna vez que el hecho de que tu ex te ponga a prueba es, en realidad, una forma de que vuelva a conocerte? Sobre todo si habéis roto hace tiempo.

Quieren saber cuál es su postura sobre algunos temas importantes. ¿Ha cambiado de opinión sobre ciertas cosas que les molestaban en el pasado?

Here’s some great news: it’s possible they’ve realized you’re marriage material, so that’s why they’re testing the waters. They todavía siento algo por ti – there is no doubt about that.

Sin embargo, quieren asegurarse you’re compatible as well. They’re asking you all these preguntas personales profundas para comprobar tu actitud hacia las cosas que les importan.

6. Juegos fríos y calientes

Sé que todos odiamos juegos mentales You don’t know where you stand, and you have no idea what might happen tomorrow. Your ex is anything but consistent when it comes to how they treat you.

One day, they act like they’d die to get back together with you. To be exact, it sometimes seems like nothing has changed, and it’s as if you’re just continuing where you left off.

Pero luego tenemos la otra cara de la moneda historia de frío y calor. Hay momentos en los que tu ex no aparece por ningún lado.

De repente deja de devolver tus mensajes and calls, and they don’t ask to meet up. They no longer text you or check in, and even your mutual friends don’t know what’s gotten into them.

And just when you make peace with the fact that they’re out of the picture for good, they make a great comeback! Before you know it, you’re back to square one, and the cycle begins all over again.

¿Es esta una de las señales de que tu ex te está poniendo a prueba? Por supuesto que sí.

But please be careful, as this might not be the kind of test you’re hoping to get from them. It’s possible that they’re actually just trying to see how far they can go without you walking away for good.

7. La prueba de lealtad

Todos los coaches de relaciones te dirán lo mismo: si tu ex quiere volver a estar juntos, they’ll expect you to remain loyal during the breakup. When I mention loyalty, I’m not talking about staying faithful.

Of course, they’ll be hurt if they find out you had a new relationship in the meantime. However, loyalty is much more important than this.

Tu ex comprobará si aún puede contar contigo. ¿Violaste su confianza aunque estabais separados?

¿Hiciste algo que se considera prohibido, como salir con un amigo común? ¿Hablaste mal de tu ex y de toda vuestra relación tras la ruptura?

They might talk to you about these things directly, or they might ask around. Either way, if you pass the loyalty test, you’ll likely get back together.

8. Uso de plataformas de medios sociales

Let’s face it: your ex keeps on low-key stalking you. They’re not some kind of a psychopath who follows you around and stares through your windows at night. However, they use modern-day methods to keep track of your activities.

Yes, that’s right, I’m talking about social media. Nunca se pierden las actualizaciones de tus historias, les gustan todas tus publicaciones y repasan tu lista de seguidores con regularidad.

Of course, there is also a different group of exes who only lurk in the background. You are still friends on social media, but they pretend like you don’t exist.

Either type of behavior is a kind of test. First of all, they’re probably waiting for your reaction.

¿Serás el primero en entrar en sus mensajes de texto? ¿Le darás a me gusta a sus mensajes y continuarás con este pequeño juego?

Y por supuesto, ¿publicarán algo sospechoso? ¿Encontrarán alguna señal de una nueva novia o novio?

9. Darte el poder

Una de las señales de que tu ex te está poniendo a prueba está relacionada con el hecho de que te dan la oportunidad de tomar una decisión. Exponen claramente sus intenciones, pero el poder está en tus manos.

They clearly want to see if you’ve grown since your breakup. How do you plan on making this happen?

Will you even move towards reconciliation? If the answer is yes, how will you resolve your issues? Clearly, you have some; otherwise, you’d still be together.

¿Piensas tomarte las cosas con calma o quieres seguir con tu relación como si nada hubiera pasado?

You’re in charge, so plan every step and think things through before acting on them!

10. La prueba del éxito

It’s when a relationship ends that you start to see your ex-partner more clearly. Well, that’s exactly what your ex has been doing during this time you two are apart.

They know that you’ve reached a crossroads: you’ll either break things off forever or turn this into a long-term relationship or even marriage.

Puede que cuando estaban juntos tu situación económica y tu carrera no les parecieran gran cosa, pero ahora quieren saber si algo ha cambiado.

I’ll be honest with you: this is something women do more than men. But you can’t say: “My ex-girlfriend is a gold-digger” just because she puts you through a success test.

Basically, she’s checking whether you’ve moved from a dead spot. Did you find a better job or get a raise? Are you now more motivated to make something out of your life?

This doesn’t mean she’s only interested in your money. She just wants un hombre financieramente estable a su lado, un hombre con el que pueda planear su futuro.

11. Poner a prueba tus límites

A veces, tu ex sigue haciéndote diferentes cosas malas. They know you still love them, and they’re not testing to see if you’ll take them back – they’re testing your boundaries to see how much you can take.

They’ll be seeing other men and women without even trying to hide it. They’re disrespecting you in different ways and treat you like garbage.

Pero, al mismo tiempo, te impiden irte cada vez que intentas marcharte. Uno pensaría que no quieren saber nada de ti, pero se quedan a tu lado a pesar de hacerte pasar un infierno.

En algún momento, esta persona querrá volver juntos with you – there is no doubt about that. But until that happens, they want to break you completely.

Basically, they’re bajando el listón. Before you know it, you’ll settle for these breadcrumbs they’ve been tossing away at you.

So, you won’t ask for more in the future. Actually, you’ll be more than happy when they finally decide to put a label on your relationship.

12. Tomar el control

If you’re dealing with a toxic ex, they’ll use this period of separation to gain even more control over you. You miss them, and they know it.

Aunque te niegues a admitirlo, lo cierto es que harías prácticamente cualquier cosa con tal de tenerlos de vuelta. Sí, eso incluye aceptar su comportamiento posesivo.

This time, they’re not checking your boundaries. Instead, they’re imposing their controlling limits on you.

Te prohíben literalmente quedar con algunos amigos, te piden que borres tus redes sociales y controlan tu vida de otras maneras. Al principio, puede que lo veas como una señal de que todavía te quieren. Si no, ¿por qué estarían tan celosos?

Bueno, déjame decirte, this is a major red flag. They’re using your vulnerabilities to take complete charge of your life. And they’re testing you to see how far they can go.

Por supuesto, cuando ustedes dos volver juntos y te das cuenta de lo que has firmado, será demasiado tarde para cambiar las condiciones.

13. Pedirle ayuda

One of the signs your ex is testing you is that they’re still asking for your help. Don’t see this as their way of taking advantage of your kindness

Even though this is possible, it’s more likely that your ex is checking whether they can rely on your not. Obviously, this is only possible if you two stayed on good terms.

They keep on making excuses to reach out. You’re the only one whose advice they believe in and the only one who can give them a hand when they’re going through a hard time.

There is no doubt about one thing: your ex still holds a great deal of trust in you. But at the same time, they’re wondering if you’re still the same person who is ready to move mountains for their sake.

Si les demuestras que lo eres, es un billete de vuelta a su vida.

14. Centrarse en su vida amorosa

Is my ex testing me to see if they’re interested in my love life? Definitely yes!

It’s clear tu ex está celoso, but at the same time, they’re not really doing anything special to get you back. What’s the deal with that?

Well, every relationship expert will give you the same answer: they’re literally letting you find someone new.

Are they doing it because they don’t love you and actually want you to move on? Absolutely not!

They don’t want to be the one you settle for if there is someone better out there for you. They don’t want to be convenient for you.

They want you to have options and to always choose them, no matter the competition. They want to know that you’d rather be alone than with someone else if you couldn’t have them.

15. Recordando los viejos tiempos

Una buena señal de que tu ex te está poniendo a prueba es que siguen sacando a relucir los viejos tiempos. ¿Cómo reaccionarás cuando mencionen el pasado? ¿Cambiarás de tema o empezarás a sonreír de forma coqueta?

Your reaction will tell them everything they need to know. But that’s not all.

Quieren ver cómo percibes todo lo que pasó entre vosotros desde tu punto de vista. ¿Ves tus errores y harías algo diferente?

Esta es su oportunidad.

¿Cómo saber si tu ex está tanteando el terreno?

Si tu ex quiere seguir en contacto con la excusa de los amigos que quedan, they’re probably testing the waters. This is especially true if they keep on flirting with you and sending you señales contradictorias.

They’re not asking for a second chance just yet, but they’re definitely trying to see if you’ll give them the green light to keep on trying to get you back.

¿Cómo saber si tu ex está intentando llamar tu atención?

If your ex is going out of their way to make you jealous, it’s a good sign that they’re actually trying to get your attention. No paran de restregarte su nueva relación por la cara sólo para obtener una reacción por tu parte.

Also, they’re probably reaching out to your friends and family instead of calling you directly. Or they will just give you random llamadas de borrachos and text messages and pretend like nothing’s happened in the morning.

¿Cómo saber si tu ex te quiere en secreto?

Si tu ex novio o novia quiere volver, they’ll do everything in their power to stay in your life. They’ll make excuses to see you or, at least, hear from you.

They’ll keep on reminding you of the good old days, trying to get you back with the help of nostalgia. This person will stalk your social media apps because they want to be up to date on what’s going on in your life.

And let’s not forget about their jealousy. They can’t handle the idea of you dating someone else because they still think of you as theirs.

Para terminar:

Todas las señales de que tu ex te está poniendo a prueba están aquí. Entonces, ¿qué vas a hacer al respecto?

Bueno, todo depende de cómo quieras que acabe esto. Si piensas recuperar a tu ex, asegúrate de superar todas sus pruebas. Dales exactamente lo que quieren y persuádeles de que tu relación merece una segunda oportunidad.

But if you don’t see a future here, don’t waste your precious time and energy on these mind games. What’s the point? Just cut them off and proceed to heal your broken heart.