Online dating scams and frauds have become increasingly common on the internet. It happens basically every day to hundreds of people around the world.
And it’s not that those people are stupid or naive. It’s simply that scammers have become genuine online con artists and professionals.
To protect you, I decided to compile these revealing questions to ask a romance scammer and wrote this guide to help you expose a dating scammer every time.
Actually, you shouldn’t only expose them, you need to outsmart them, and I’ve left you a few tips for that too. My only goal is to make you online dating scams-proof, and I hope I’ll achieve that with this article!
10 Warm-Up Questions To Ask A Romance Scammer
You can’t immediately hit them with some tough, exposing questions. You need to warm up with some regular, personal questions so you can run a background check while they naively think that you only want to get to know them better.
So, here are the most common questions people forget to ask their prospective dates on dating sites that may help them expose a potential romance scammer.
1. What is your middle name?
You’ll agree that this isn’t a very common question people ask each other when they start texting and getting to know one another. But that’s the point, to catch them by surprise.
They may come up with a name immediately – that’s not difficult. However, you need to ask them a few more questions about their middle name, and you’ll see how nervous it’ll make them if they’re lying to you.
For example, you can ask them how they got that name, who gave it to them, or what the meaning of that name is.
If they take some time before replying, it’s a red flag that they were searching for the meaning of the name on Google and trying to make up a story about how they got their middle name.
2. How old are you?
Okay, I know what you’ll say now. It’s easy to make up a number and lie about your age to some unknown person online.
However, there are some ways you can figure out whether the person you’re texting is really lying about their age or not. For example, you can check whether that number matches what they wrote on their dating app profile.
3. Where do you live?
This question at first appears very common when two people are getting to know each other. However, the truth is, you can find a lot out from it.
If you’re dealing with a dating scammer, they’ll probably choose a different city than yours because they don’t want you to know you live in the same city.
So, when they say in which city they live, you should Google it and pretend you know a lot about it because you’ve visited it or went on a holiday there once.
4. Oh, do you know (insert name)?
If they say they live in a small city or some area of the city that you know, you can ask them about a famous person that lives there too or some famous buildings, restaurants, etc.
If they don’t know that person or building, it’s a red flag they’re lying to you. But you really need to think of something that is known to almost everyone who lives in that city/area.
5. Where were you born, and where did you grow up?
It’s okay to ask someone you’re getting to know where they currently live. However, it’s a bit strange to ask them where they were born or spent their childhood.
If you notice that the other person avoids that question or misses some details when talking about their childhood, it’s a potential red flag you’re dealing with a romance scammer.
6. Where did you finish high school?
Actually, you should ask them when and where they finished high school. When you get those details, you can go to that high school and ask around about them.
If it’s a real person, someone there will know something about them. And this question shouldn’t make them suspect anything because it’s just a common question people ask when they’re getting to know someone.
7. What do you do for a living?
The truth is, if it’s not a fake profile, this question may be strange to them. They may start thinking that you want to know about their finances because you’re into material things.
However, if you have already encountered a few red flags that you’re texting with a romance scammer, you need to ask them this question.
If they say they work at McDonald’s, you should ask them where, which McDonald’s precisely, and go there and ask around about them to other employees. If they say they don’t know anyone by that name, you can consider yourself a potential victim of a romance scammer.
Don’t just allow them to mention what they do, what their business occupation is because they may lie about it. For example, if they say they’re an oil rig worker, you need to bombard them with a few follow-up questions that will reveal more info about their job.
8. What is your current relationship status?
They’ll probably say they’re single because otherwise, it would be awkward if they have a dating site profile. However, you need to interrogate them about their love life.
How many partners have they had, when and why did they break up with their ex-partner, what kind of people are they into, and what qualities does their future partner need to have… All those questions will help you realize what kind of person you’re dealing with.
9. Do you have any pets?
This is a very common question people ask when they want to get to know someone. However, these kinds of details from their private life may really help you figure out whether they’re making things up about themselves or if they are who they say they are.
And don’t allow them to answer your question with a simple yes/no answer. Ask them more details about it, like, for example, where they got that animal, what the name of their pet is, and those kinds of questions.
10. What is your day like?
You’ll ask them this question just to find out more information about them, how they spend their day, where they go, where they eat, and those kinds of things.
They may lie about all those things, but they may also tell the truth because they won’t think you’re asking them these questions because you have doubts about their true identity. And those details about their private life may help you reveal their real identity and expose them.
8 Exposing Questions To Ask A Romance Scammer
After you’re done with these regular warm-up questions, you should heat things by starting to ask some revealing questions. If you notice too many red flags in their answers, you’re probably dealing with a fake dating profile, and you should block them before they scam you.
1. Can you give me your phone number so we can be in touch regularly?
If you’re dealing with a romance scammer, they will probably make up an excuse not to give you their real phone number. If they’re a professional con artist, they may buy a new phone and a new number that they’ll get rid of once they finish scamming you.
On the other hand, if they give you their phone number, you should send them a text message when they least expect it. And also, give them a call at an unusual time because it’s a way to catch them in their lies – IF they’re really lying to you.
2. What’s your family like?
You need to get them to talk about their family. They may make up a back story about their family, but they’ll miss some details. That’s why you need to focus on those precise details.
You should also look at the photos on their profile and check out whether they have any of their family.
Or, you can ask them to send you a few. If you think it’s too weird to ask them that immediately, you can send them a pic of your family, and if their profile isn’t fake, they’ll probably reply with a photo of theirs.
3. Who is your favorite family member and why?
The point is to get the names of their family members, so if they’re really a scammer, it’ll be easier for you or the authorities to catch them through their family.
You should get them talking about their family and friends and try to remember or write down the names they mention. You can also search for their family members on social media platforms and see whether they’re real or not.
4. Where did you go to college?
If they or their dating profile says that they have graduated, you should ask them where they went to college. If they mention Harvard or another prestigious college, you can verify this at the source or run their name through the directory search of those schools.
It’s important to ask them whether they have any other social media profiles. Of course, before you ask them, you can do your own little search.
If they’re a true professional scammer, they might also have fake accounts on other social media platforms. However, in most cases, they won’t bother with those kinds of things, and they’ll simply say they don’t like social media sites or something like that.
6. Can we video chat?
If they’re a real person, this shouldn’t be a problem for them, especially if you’ve been texting for a while. On the contrary, they should be eager to see you on video.
On the flip side, if they’re a dating scammer, they’ll make up some excuse and avoid going on video chat with you. The reason is obvious: they don’t want you to see their real face.
7. What are you doing right now? Send me a selfie 😍
Or, you can send them a selfie, and they’ll do the same if they don’t have anything to hide. On the other hand, if they send you a pic of an attractive person, and you realize instantly that the pic was taken by a professional, you should run it through the reverse image search on Google.
If it’s a fake profile, and they’re using photos from another person, they don’t even have to be a scammer – they’re already committing a felony.
Using someone else’s photos without their consent is considered the same as stealing their identity, and it’s a crime.
Maybe they have another reason they’re using pics from another person, and you should give them a chance to explain themselves.
If you notice they are still lying to you, you should immediately report their profile as a fake one and make sure the dating site knows they were using another person’s identity.
8. THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION 🚨: When can we meet face-to-face?
This is the most important question you need to ask them. And don’t ever share any personal information about yourself before actually meeting them in person. Also, most importantly, don’t send them your bank account or money in any way until they agree to meet up with you.
If they avoid meeting face-to-face and always have some lame excuse for why they can’t, you can be sure that something is off with them.
Block their profile, forget that they ever existed in your life (even if it was only virtually), and move on. You definitely don’t need those kinds of troubles in your life.
What Does A Romance Scammer Want?
Dating scammers have different goals in mind, but most of them want one thing: MONEY, of course. Their main goal is to trick people into giving them money.
They register on several dating sites under fake profiles and reach out to different people. They make sure to gain their complete trust by texting them 24/7 and getting to know them. Then they make sure the other person falls in love with them, and that’s when their real operation starts.
They say they love you, and the next thing they do is ask for your bank account. If that doesn’t go well with their victim, they ask them to send them gift cards or make donations to unreliable sites or associations.
They’re professional con artists who can make others believe in their sob stories or how they’re head over heels in love with them, even though they’ve never seen or met them in person. Then, they take as much money as they can from you and leave you completely heartbroken.
How Do You Reveal A Romance Scammer?
These exposing questions to ask a romance scammer will definitely help you reveal them and their true intentions. They’ll probably have a back story for some of these questions, but they definitely won’t be prepared to answer them all if they’re indeed scammers.
Also, you can try with BeenVerified, TruthFinder, Instant Checkmate, and similar background check sites. You can use the photos they have on their dating profile and scan them through the reverse image search on Google.
At the end of the day, if they keep avoiding meeting you in person, you should consider that a huge red flag.
Give them some time, but if they still don’t want to go out with you, the only logical explanation is that they don’t want you to reveal their true identity.
How Do You Outsmart A Romance Scammer?
After you’ve exposed a scammer, the next step is to plan how to outsmart them. You need to do everything in your power to make them go on a video call with you or meet with you face-to-face (even though I’m pretty sure they’ll never accept a meeting in person).
The moment they show their face, you need to take a photo of them, or an even better idea would be to record your video chat/call.
The point is to get proof of their true identity. Once you get what you want, you can have your fun with them and tell them that you know all about the romance scam they were planning.
Tell them that you’re going to report them to the authorities immediately with all the evidence you have against them. Oh, do take another pic of them at that moment because I’m sure their expression will be priceless.
Of course, you should always report the dating scam or any other scam you have evidence of to the authorities. To be more exact, you should report it to the Federal Trade Commission.
You can also warn the dating services your dating scammer has profiles on that their profile is fake and that they should delete or remove them.
Online dating sites are unfortunately full of fake identities and profiles. There are many dating scammers who operate on those kinds of sites and social media platforms, and it’s impossible to catch them all.
Online scams have become a normal thing, and many people have encountered those kinds of unpleasant experiences.
That’s why I hope from the bottom of my heart that this list of personal questions to ask a romance scammer will help you expose those online dating scams and frauds. I would be eternally happy to know that I helped someone expose a scammer and saved them from a broken heart.
Please be careful with the online world!Pay attention to what you post on your social media sites, and don’t ever reveal too much about yourself on dating apps. The moment you notice red flags about a person, do a background check on them or report them to the authorities immediately and let them do a check-up on them.