Questions to fall in love explore the intimacy between two strangers or long-term partners who want to bring the spark back.
These personal questions subtly awaken a sense of vulnerability and closeness.
Self-disclosure and listening to the other person bring about a sense of mutual vulnerability which then creates a safe emotional space for both of you.
Of course, for many people, being vulnerable is quite a difficult thing to do but ultimately, it’s what leads to a quality relationship as well as self-acceptance.
Being vulnerable with strangers is especially challenging and therefore highly rewarding in the end.
Our deep need for connection can be expressed in many ways but is sometimes neglected due to personal fears of rejection, ridicule, etc.
However, it’s possible to create a safe space to share your intimacy with someone and confirm that everyone needs recognition, love and acceptance to feel satisfied and happy in life.
Ask these 60 questions to fall in love deeper with each other
Set I
1. If you had the opportunity to have dinner with anyone dead or alive, who would you invite as your dinner guest?
2. Do you want to make a mark on the world before you leave it and if so, in what way?
3. Do telephone calls make you nervous and if so, why do you think that happens?
4. Have you ever helped a complete stranger and if you have, when and why?
5. When did you last sing to anyone but yourself?
6. If it was possible, would you rather have the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the rest of your life?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how your life will end?
8. Name one thing you and the person you’re talking to appear to have in common.
9. If you could choose one skill you don’t have, what would it be?
10. Would you change anything about your childhood?
11. Tell your life story in the shortest time possible.
12. What’s the most precious thing in your life?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you anything you want to know about your future or your past, what would it be?
14. Have you ever dreamed of doing something and you never got to do it and if so, why not?
15. What do you consider to be the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What does friendship mean to you?
17. Share your most treasured memory.
18. Share your most terrible memory.
19. What would you change in your life if you knew you were going to die soon?
20. What do your friends mean to you?
Set II
21. Does affection play a big role in your life?
22. Share the positive characteristics of your partner.
23. Are your family close?
24. Describe your mother.
25. Finish the following sentence: ‘We are both in this room feeling…’
26. Is there some interest you have that you wish you could share with someone?
27. What do your close friends have to know about you?
28. Tell your partner what you like about them, even if it’s something you consider inappropriate for a first date.
29. Recall some embarrassing moments in your life and share the stories with your partner.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person and why?
31. Tell your partner something you noticed about them when you first met.
32. What shouldn’t ever be joked about?
33. When were the wildest years of your life and why?
34. If your house catches fire and you can save your loved ones and have just enough time to make a final dash and save one item, what item would it be and why?
35. Can you describe how you felt on the happiest day of your life?
36. Do you enjoy small talk?
37. Are you religious or spiritual?
38. What’s your favorite quote and why?
39. What’s your life purpose?
40. What’s your favorite animal and why?
Set III
41. Do you believe in love at first sight?
42. What do you consider a bad habit of yours?
43. Have you ever dreamed of something that came true?
44. Who is your favorite famous person ever and why?
45. Do you consider yourself to be intuitive?
46. When was the last time you felt truly happy?
47. What’s your favorite time of the day and why?
48. What’s your ideal place to live? Describe in detail.
49. Which historical period do you like best, based on aesthetics?
50. What inspires you in everyday life?
51. Do you believe in karma?
52. What’s one of the world’s greatest mysteries you wish had been solved?
53. What makes you feel good in your own body?
54. If you were to die today with no way to call or reach someone, what would be your biggest regret?
55. Do you enjoy eye contact and if so, what do you like to see in others’ eyes?
56. Do you care about Valentine’s Day?
57. Do you think modern love is overall better for humanity and romantic relationships?
58. How do you know you’re in a close relationship?
59. Whose death of the people in your life would be the most disturbing?
60. Ask your partner’s advice on a personal problem to see how they might handle it.
To wrap up
A relationship is not an easy task; it’s not something you occasionally work on.
You need to work on it constantly and that means you’ll have very good and very bad days.
However, if you love the person and care for them, it’s always worth it in the end.
Our partner is our mirror. Through our partner, we learn to love ourself too.
We learn to trust, we learn to say no, we learn to let go and be who we are with another person.
A relationship is one of the things in life that makes us happy and therefore we should put effort into making it even better and stronger.
It’s important to know that it is possible to improve a relationship, even if we have suffered in the past. It’s possible to rebuild trust and love.
Most issues in a relationship happen because of a lack of communication, unclear communication and fear of being misunderstood or judged.
Ensuring this doesn’t happen promotes acceptance and honesty with ourself and the other person and since our partner mirrors our own needs and conflicts, it’s clear that we need to have a healthy and loving relationship with ourself first.
As author and professor Brené Brown states in one of her works:
“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.
Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.
Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows.
Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed, and rare.”
As you go through challenges and get closer to your partner, the mirror becomes clearer and clearer until nothing but your own crystal-clear reflection is left.
Nothing external will ever help us mend our inner wounds and satisfy our inner desires.
We’re beings of body and mind and we need to be both at peace to feel complete.
We find completion in ourself, not in others but we enjoy and celebrate our union with others.
That’s why the above questions are a good idea. If it can bring you together and make you feel like you’re falling in love again (or for the first time), then ask away.
Vulnerability is very healing and these specific questions and the personal information we get from our partner when we ask them make us see them in an authentic way and heighten our empathy.
The idea for this concept of asking questions came from psychologist and writer Mandy Len Catron, in an article which she later wrote for the New York Times.
She tested it herself and ended up falling in love with the person she tried this experiment with.
She even said that after the conversation, they looked each other in the eyes and she, quote-unquote, embraced the terror of this realization which the experience gave her.
The original research was done by psychologist Arthur Aron at Stony Brook University.
He put people into two groups and then paired them to talk to each other for 45 minutes. One group only made small talk and the other received a list of 36 questions.
The result was that one pair fell in love and ended up getting married!
So what’s the secret of this little experiment? It turns out that every human being deep down wants to be known.
That includes the effort someone makes to make that happen and that’s not what people usually do with strangers or other people they’re not very close to.
Essentially, this concept is about being what we are and showing ourself to the world.
We crave the attention of other people in a sense that we want to be known by them for who we are and that’s completely understandable.
Through others we comprehend ourself. We’re social beings, we need others to understand us.
We want to know our place among others, we want to know what we’re capable of and what we can provide for other people.
However, there’s one person we want to know most of all and we want them to know us and that’s our partner.
This is the person we share our most intimate moments with.
There’s no secret that people have a deep desire to feel unified, to feel connected, to feel as one with another person.
All of the world’s literature, all of the world’s religions and songs from whatever corner of the world, they all celebrate connection, unification, sharing and recognizing others as equal and the same.
We want someone to see the best and the worst of us and accept us as we are.
We want someone to acknowledge the importance of our existence because every one of us feels that there’s something fascinating and amazing about the fact that we simply exist as we do.
Another important thing to mention is that love isn’t just about feelings; in fact, it’s mostly about action.
Love needs action. Without action, it’s just a daydream.
If you long for love and a deep connection, whether you have a partner or not, do this experiment and see what happens.
You have nothing to lose and maybe something to gain.
Instead of doing the usual couply stuff with your partner, try answering these questions to fall in love and let the vulnerability get you closer.
Make a connection soul-deep.
