Is your boyfriend emotionally supportive? Do you feel like something’s missing in your relationship?
There are a few key things that are crucial for establishing a happy and loving relationship. Some of them are physical intimacy, trust, making constant effort, and emotional support as well. Somehow, we tend to pay more attention to their efforts than to the emotional aspect and we end up feeling miserable not knowing the real reason why.
Emotional support in a relationship is like a fuel for a car. Without it, you you’re stuck in the middle of the road without any promise that you’ll move forward anytime soon. If your partner is emotionally withdrawn, it means that every single bit of baggage of your personal life and relationship falls on your shoulders.
It means your partner is not there to help you overcome your obstacles and he’s not there to fight for your relationship either. And sometimes these signs of the lack of emotional support are subtle, you can’t really recognize them and decipher the real problem behind the situation you’re in. But, don’t worry.
Here is the ultimate list of subtle signs your relationship lacks emotional support!
1. He constantly blames you for overreacting
When something happens, instead of listening to you and trying to be supportive, he immediately tells you that you’re just overreacting. By doing this, he’s downplaying the importance of your views and problems you’re going through.
He’s not willing to even try to understand what is going on and he immediately switches to his defense mode called “blaming you for overreacting”. To him, it’s easier to tell you that you’re imagining things than to sit next to you and try to find a solution to your problem or just listen to you until you start feeling better about it.
If he’s not ready to do these things, you know that your relationship lacks emotional support and isn’t healthy. You don’t deserve to be blamed for overreacting when you know that this is not the case. You deserve someone who will be there for you, one who will be ready to be a real man and show it through his actions.
2. He withholds physical intimacy
How many times in a day does he hug you, hold your hand, or kiss you on the forehead? Can’t you remember the last time he did something really cute for you that showed his ultimate affection in terms of physical intimacy?
If this is the case, then you know he’s not being emotionally supportive at all. In fact, he’s only thinking about himself and what he’s interested in. If he’s withholding physical intimacy, it means he’s not able or not even bothered to shower you with affection in the form of sweet gestures and other things that happen in every healthy relationship.
3. He doesn’t challenge you
You see, not every kind of emotional support is positive. Sometimes, we need other kinds of support that is linked with challenging us and helping us become better people. If he’s not challenging you, it means he’s not interested in helping you reach your full potential in the relationship and life in general.
If he just turns a blind eye to everything you say to him (even though he knows that you’re not being right about it), he’s deliberately deciding not to open your eyes and help you see things differently. And the key to every successful relationship is challenging each other and bringing new perspectives that will enrich your relationship and lives overall.
4. He shows no interest in your goals
Does he ever show support and that he’s genuinely interested in your dreams, goals, and achievements?
If he’s totally oblivious to these, you know that he’s being emotionally unsupportive. Your goals and dreams are a part of your life and if he’s unwilling to be a part of it, too, it means he’s not interested in helping you achieve them or support you through your struggles.
It means he’s only interested in what is going on in his life, which is not how relationships work. Emotional support is all about taking care of each other’s wishes and well-being, and being interested in every single detail of your personal lives. And if he’s not ready to do all of this, you’re better off without him.
5. When you cry, he’s nowhere to be found
Do you get the impression that he always disappears when you’re having hard times? When you cry, do you have to call Interpol to find him because you have no idea where he is? If he’s guilty of of this, you know your relationship lacks emotional support.
Remember that in a relationship, you should always be his priority, no matter what. And if he’s leaving you on your own during the tough times, he definitely doesn’t deserve you during your happy ones.
6. He’s always comparing
When you’re talking about how bad was your day at work, he always has this tendency to accentuate that he’s had it worse than you. He’s always comparing things so that he can make himself the victim and that all the attention redirects to him.
While it is true that sometimes he will have a worse day than you and he will feel shittier than you, all the time – I doubt it. Him always comparing your emotional state with his is just a sign of his emotional unsupportiveness and nothing else.
7. He always forgets things
Does he always forget to do something you told him that day or a few days before? Does he always need some extra time to realize what you’re talking about because he doesn’t remember a single thing you told him a few hours ago, a week ago, or a month ago?
If he always forgets things – I’m sorry to tell you – it means he’s not really listening to you at all. And not listening equals not giving a shit about your words, thoughts, needs, or emotions. His not listening means you’re far better without him because you definitely don’t deserve to be in a relationship that lacks emotional support.