It’s never black or white when it comes to relationships. There are a lot of gray areas, a lot of in-betweens and a lot of questions that are hard to answer. There are times when you simply don’t know whether the better option is to leave or to stay and try to fix things.
The truth is it all depends on the situation and there are no two relationships in this world that are exactly alike. However, there are some similar difficulties that relationships can go through. Because of that, there are some common factors that can make your decision easier. There are some situations in which it is better to stay and patch things up and there are those that scream that it’s time to call quits on your relationship:
1. Stay if the good outweighs the bad
You have to take a step back and look at your relationship from a distance. Is the entire relationship bad or are you just going through a rough patch? Have there been more good things than bad ones? Have there been more smiles than tears on your face? It is all worth taking into consideration and you should definitely stick around, talk openly to your partner and see what both of you can do to get things back on track.
2. Call it quits when there is no respect
If your partner doesn’t respect you, don’t think twice about leaving. Trust and respect are the foundations of any relationship and they are things that you should never compromise on. Two people in a relationship are equal, there shouldn’t be room for belittling, abuse or mistreatment of any sort. If they don’t respect you, if you don’t feel comfortable or like yourself around them, then it’s definitely time to show them the door.
3. Stay when they just need some space
Needing space in a relationship is not always a bad thing. The honeymoon phase of a relationship can’t last forever and being together nonstop can start to suffocate the relationship. Space might be exactly what you need, even if you are not aware of it. The time you spend together after will have more quality and it will feel so much better when you are finally together. So if your partner says they need space to pursue their own interests, or to spend some time alone with their friends or on their own, let them and see if the space might be helpful to your relationship.
4. Call it quits when they act like they don’t care
If they never make time for you and are always too ‘busy’ doing this or that, if they never bother to call or text and check up on you, if they never ask how your day went and if are you doing OK, if they act like they don’t care, believe them. Life is too short to beg for somebody’s attention, affection or love. If they don’t give it freely, it’s not worth your time.
5. Stay when you like the person you are with
Stay if you accept them for who they are, with their flaws and their perfections, their strengths and their weaknesses. Stay if you feel like you can deal with each other’s kind of crazy, if you don’t spend your days thinking how things could be different if he would just change.
6. Call it quits when you are begging them to change
Nobody ever changes if they don’t feel the need to change or better said, if they don’t want to change themself. If they keep promising you they will treat you better, they will do things differently, they will invest more, but it’s all words and they never actually do anything then call it quits. An even worse case scenario is when you are stuck in something toxic and you keep thinking if you give it time, if you do things differently, maybe it will get better. Trust me, in those situations it never does and it’s better to call it quits than to allow them to keep messing up your life.
7. Stay when both of you want to work on your relationship
Never leave without giving your relationship a chance. If you both have feelings for each other but you began to feel a distance and there is mutual desire to reconnect, the least you can do is try. Things are not always broken beyond repair; if you still love each other, if there is understanding and a mutual desire to save your relationship, chances are you will make it.
8. Call it quits when they don’t want to work on things
Mutual efforts are mandatory. If only one is doing all the heavy lifting and tries their best to make the relationship work, the relationship will break—it’s only a matter of time. Regardless of all the love and the strength you might have within you, you can’t do everything on your own. Both people involved in a relationship need to invest and work on things, everything else is a waste of time.