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You Could’ve Had It All If You Were A Better Man

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You think that it’s all her fault, right? You think she left because she felt like it? You think she left at the first sign of trouble? You think that she didn’t almost die fighting? You think that she wasn’t ready to do anything for you? To lose pieces of her, just to make you happy? She did all of it, but you were just too blind to see. You were too much lost in your own universe to see her standing next to you. If you had just opened up your eyes, you could’ve seen her loving eyes filled with pain you were causing. You could’ve seen those tears and wiped them away. You could’ve make her the happiest woman alive, but you just didn’t know how. If you were a better man, you could’ve had it all. But now, you have nothing.

If you had treated her the way she deserved, she would’ve never left. But you never knew how. Not once did you wonder if there was something you could’ve done differently. Not once did you wonder if maybe she wanted to feel like the only woman for you, if maybe she wanted to feel loved the way she was. Without all those sacrifices she made for you, without all of that dressing up she did. She just wanted you to see her, but you never did. She just wanted to feel like you were there for her, but you never were.

See also: I Didn’t Walk Away, You Let Me Go

If you had cared for her, the way she did for you, she would’ve never stopped. If only you had known how to kiss away her tears, how to hold her when she felt like she was falling apart, how to make her feel worthy when she was losing her faith in herself. If only you had known how to make her feel special, the way she made you feel. Instead, you let her feel lonely next to you. You let her feel broken, while she was trying to fix you. You let her feel not good enough, while she was making sure you knew your worth. And now that she no longer cares for you, you miss her. Now that she’s doing for herself what she did for you, you want her back. But all she ever wanted was just for you to show her you cared. But you never did.

If you had respected her love, it would’ve never disappeared. If you had just paid attention to her gentle heart, it would’ve never closed off to you. But you could only see your own hell, while you were hers. You could only see your own pain and struggles, while she was handling both hers and yours. You could only see the fights you were winning, while she was fighting to keep you two safe. She was the one who would take the hit, the one who would bleed, just so you would be safe. But you were so worried about any single scratch you got that you couldn’t see that she was bleeding to death. You couldn’t see the love in her eyes fading away, because you never truly looked at them.

If you had loved her the way she always dreamed of being loved, she would’ve never left to search for her own happiness. But you never did, so she had to do it. She finally realized that she deserved so much more than you could give her. That she deserved to feel that kind of love people write books about. She deserved that kind of love that Hollywood makes movies about. the love that wins Oscars and inspires thousands of people.

She finally realized her worth, the worth you neglected for so long. She finally saw that she was so much more than your other half, because she was already complete and she didn’t need you to complete her. It was you who needed her. She finally saw her strength, once she stopped wasting it on you. She finally saw her true self, once she stopped listening to your poisonous words. And once she did, you wanted her back. Once she was everything she was meant to be, you wanted her next to you. But she’s not meant for your half-love. She’s not meant to be taken for granted. She’s not meant to accompany you along the way, she’s meant to find her own and own it.

You could’ve had it all, you know. You could’ve had her love, her respect and her heart, if you had only known how to take care of them. You could’ve still had her by your side, if you had only made space for her. But next to your enormous ego, there was no room for her. You could’ve had it all if you were a better man. But you never were.

Tatiana Belikov
the authorTatiana Belikov

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