There’s this famous quote that caught my eye immediately when I saw it and it has been in my head for so long since then: “You don’t have to love me. You don’t even have to like me but you will respect me.”
The quote is suggesting that respect is beyond love and affection and it is something you should demand. But you also need to know that respect needs to be earned as well.
How to deal with a guy who doesn’t respect you
I know it is really frustrating when you don’t know what you did wrong to deserve such treatment from a guy you’ve been chatting to, dating or you’re in a relationship with but not all hope is lost.
Here are 4 simple steps that you need to go through in order to save yourself from the unfortunate situation you’re in.
1. Make sure that you’ve earned respect
As already said, respect is something that must be earned. You cannot expect a guy to respect you if you lack self-respect. Now the question is how do you earn respect?
The answer is simple. You earn respect by first respecting yourself and then others. You earn it by treating yourself with love and care and by choosing not to settle for anything less than you deserve.
You also need to know that self-respect is not something you can gain overnight. It is something you need to work on for a really long time and once you manage it, you will never again be in the position of having to find ways to deal with disrespectful behavior.
So, the first thing you need to do is ask yourself if you’ve been respectful toward yourself and then you can proceed to the next step.
2. Determine the nature of his disrespectful behavior
There are many causes for disrespectful behavior. Your guy could have done so because he was frustrated over something else that has nothing to do with you but still, this is not a valid excuse.
You will know that he’s done it unintentionally if he immediately apologizes afterward or a few days later. It means he genuinely respects you but that something triggered him to act the way he did and to unintentionally hurt your feelings.
But if he’s done it intentionally, chances are that he will never apologize for what he’s done. It is because he thinks you deserve what he’s done to you and he will not go out of his way to prove to you differently.
There’s a big difference between the two and once you realize the nature of his disrespectful behavior, you will be able to see the bigger picture behind his actions and find a proper solution to it.
3. Set your boundaries
Once you’ve determined the reason for his behavior, you can think of setting firm boundaries that will serve as an ultimatum for if he repeats the same again. Setting your boundaries means letting him know that he fucked up and you will not tolerate his bullshit.
Disrespect is something that requires immediate intervention and if you just let him apologize without letting him know that you will not tolerate him making the same mistake again, he will take you for granted.
Also, if you think he deserves it, you can give him a second chance to apologize and change his behavior toward you. If you see that he’s utterly sorry because of it and he is assuring you that he didn’t mean it, be sure that he will change.
4. If he still doesn’t respect you, respect yourself enough to walk away
The last step, but also the hardest one, is to find the courage to respect yourself enough to walk away. If he still doesn’t show signs of respect toward you, regardless of your ultimatum, know that it is time to let him go.
It is the best thing you can do for yourself and you certainly deserve it. You deserve to be treated with the amount of respect you’re giving to everyone else. So, if you see that he hasn’t changed, leaving him is non-negotiable.
There are plenty of other guys who know how to treat a woman with respect and who will do anything to make her feel happy and blessed. So, respect yourself enough to wait for someone who will be worth your time.