I did not want to give up on you. You see, I gave up on myself, thinking you would keep all those promises you made.
I gave up on myself because I was waiting for you to change.
Day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year passed me by and left my life somewhere behind what I thought was our love.
You were the one to stop showing any affection.
You were the one to dry out our lips due to the lack of kisses.
You were the one to let the flame of our passion fade so quickly.
I was dying to hear that you loved me, that you needed me as much as I needed you.
And the saddest part was that you did not even notice that.
You would not listen to me when I talked to you. Everything was a distraction. You did not feel happy to have me in your life.
I became invisible, like your love for me.
I used up so many strategies and techniques to make you remember that we once existed. Our old photos did not evoke any feelings in you.
Our song did not even sound familiar to you anymore. The love messages I would send to you when you were away were never replied to. It was all in vain.
All those business trips that you had from time to time were a lie. I pretended that I did not know. I pretended it did not hurt.
But it did.
It hurt so damn much knowing you were giving the love you were supposed to give to me to someone else. Some other woman took my place.
You replaced me with her, not knowing that there would come a day when I would replace you as well.
A part of me wanted to continue fighting for you and the other part wanted to give up. I was torn between those two. I did not want us to end.
But you put me aside like a used-up toy. I became a part of your routine. I was forgotten.
It was so difficult to understand why you stopped caring for me. I never asked for anything in return.
I gave you my all. Still, you were unable to love me.
Finally, after all those years spent begging for love and waiting for something I knew would never happen, there came a time when I was done.
I was not mad. I was not upset. I was just done with you.
I was sick of crying in my bed every night. I was sick of loving you and never getting any love in return.
Do you even know what that felt like?
Do you even know how it felt to love somebody with all your heart and soul and not get loved back?
Well, let me tell you what it felt like for me. It felt like somebody put a knife in my heart and stabbed me every single minute.
It felt like I was dying slowly and in agony. It felt like I had a cure before my very eyes but could not reach it.
I could not reach you.
You stopped being my number one because you put me last on your list of priorities.
You stopped being my Prince Charming because I had ceased being your princess for so long. Our make-believe fairy tale had come to its end.
You know, I thought I would love you till I was old and gray. But somewhere in the middle of all that pain, I stopped. All the suffering choked me and I just could not take it anymore.
I knew I deserved to find a man who would make me smile, a man who would look me in the eyes when I would speak to him.
I knew I deserved to find a man who would wipe away my tears and moisturize my lips with kisses.
I wanted to find love again. I wanted to feel carefree again.
Just before leaving, I covered our bed with a white sheet. I stood by the window, looking at the long way ahead of me.
I had promises to keep, the promises that I made to myself. I promised I would never let anyone take me for granted again.
I promised I would find a man whose actions would match his words. I promised I would find happiness somewhere far away from you.
And I knew I had to leave immediately because it would be too late tomorrow. I had already wasted my best years on you.
Despite only having the desire to find another man who would love me, you blamed me for cheating because you could not handle the fact I was leaving.
But I did not cheat on you, honey. I replaced you with someone who was worth the while. I replaced you with myself.