1. They keep repeating the same mistake even though they promised they wouldn’t
They simply keep letting you down. Let’s say you and your partner had a problem, he did something to hurt you and he swore he would never do it again. He said he was sorry, it was a mistake and so on. He has been playing it nice for a while and everything seems great. But before you know it, he has done it again and you feel like you are repeating the same scenario.
You see, they are used to getting away with it and your forgiveness becomes something they take for granted. They have no intention of changing and they will just replay the same thing over and over again until you finally get tired and admit to yourself that you are not with the right person.
2. They never listen to what you have to say
When it comes to listening, you are the one who is great at that. Everything that happens to them, good or bad, you are there to hear them out. Sadly, when you need a friendly ear and someone to talk to, you would probably choose your best friend over your partner. It’s not that he is not the one you wouldn’t want to share your thoughts with, you simply know that he won’t be interested in what you have to say.
He ignores your need to talk to them, it would never cross his mind to ask you how you are or how your day went, he only talks about themself, etc. Things shouldn’t go that way. Your partner should be the person you share your good news with and the person you share your sorrows with. You shouldn’t be in a relationship where you feel like you are not important and you are not treated as an equal.
3. Your relationship looks more like a battlefield than a love affair
It seems like your communication has come down to arguing and nothing more. You never see eye to eye and you often go to bed angry at each other. It’s obvious that your communication skills are catastrophic. You probably already tried to work things out and be more understanding but it didn’t go as planned. You just continued fighting and bickering about this and that and it seems it will never end.
You are right, it probably never will because you are incompatible. If you spend more time fighting than being on good terms and happy, you are mismatched. You have totally opposite outlooks on what’s wrong and what’s right. Your viewpoints on life and relationships are completely different and that’s why you haven’t worked things out.
4. Sex issues
There are two possible scenarios. The first one happens when your sex life is great but everything else is going downhill. You have great communication in bed but outside of it, not so much. Your passions are keeping you together because when you stop and really evaluate your relationship, you see that attention, affection and sometimes even respect and trust are lacking.
The second scenario happens when your sex life is close to non-existent, very rare or simply bad but all the other aspects of the relationship are great. You are like best friends and the lovers part is missing and you are not completely satisfied. You know what they say, a good and healthy sex life is only 20% of the relationship but if it’s bad it is everything.
Both scenarios scream that you are incompatible. Nothing should be missing and you should have some sort of balance between friendship and passion. You shouldn’t hold on to someone who is wrong for you just because the sex is amazing. Likewise, you shouldn’t settle for a passionless relationship just because you share a deep friendship with someone.
5. You feel like you can’t be yourself around them
You want to share things that bother you or those that you feel happy about with them but you are reluctant to because they will probably discard them as stupid. You never feel comfortable and you feel like you are holding back. You want to do things like sing along to the radio while you are driving or pick a new movie to watch but you feel like you can’t because he will tell you to shut up or that you are stupid.
When you are in a healthy relationship, you feel loved and accepted and you don’t feel the need to dread your every step. You feel cozy enough to be your weird self and it’s the best feeling in the world. If you are not feeling it, you are incompatible.
6. Jealousy overload
Jealousy doesn’t have to necessarily be a bad thing when it’s within reason. But sometimes it can go too far and suffocate you completely. Two overly jealous people will only hold each other back, not to mention it can easily become toxic.
If your relationship isn’t based on trust it won’t be able to survive for too long. Eventually, one or both of the people in the relationship will get exhausted from the phone constantly buzzing, somebody checking up on their whereabouts and controlling their every move. It’s not just a question of incompatibility, it becomes damaging to somebody’s physical and mental health.
7. The relationship has become monotonous
You are stuck in a rut and it seems like there is nothing you can do about it. Hanging out with your partner is just that, hanging, staying in watching movies, cuddling a bit and then each of you goes their separate ways or to different sides of the bed. Date nights and going out seem like ancient history.
There are different types of people. Some don’t mind a rut and the stability it provides them with. Repeating the same scenarios over and over again is more than OK to them as it provides them with a sense of security and stability. The problem occurs when they are involved with someone who needs more movement and diversity in the relationship. Someone who likes trying new things, like traveling and going out.
It’s not that one person is bad and the other is good, both are completely normal; the thing is, they are completely different and therefore incompatible. A relationship between these two personality types can only work if they are both determined to make an effort and meet each other halfway. If love overcomes their differences, they will have a great chance of making things work.
8. Different perceptions of where they stand now in the relationship and where they are headed
At times, two people in the same relationship are not on the same page. Their level of involvement, investment and perceptions of where the relationship is headed are completely off. While one might be ready to take the relationship to the next level, the other is running for the hills at a mere sign of commitment. One is already imagining married life with children while the other one is not ready for that yet. Or one wants children in the future but the other one doesn’t.
These are all big, red flags of incompatibility. If you are not moving at the same pace and if your paths to the future are taking different directions, you will never make it work. Some people are just not ready to commit at the same time or ever. Some can imagine spending their life unmarried and without children and so on. The thing is they need someone who is there to back that up. You can’t force anything. If they are not comfortable with where their relationship is now, they will have an even harder time in the future.