There is something in these women and girls who feel like it’s their mission to save others. There is this need in them to save other men and it’s the need they can’t escape. They don’t fall in love with normal people. It’s like you need to have a broken soul or a broken heart so they’d notice you.
This one was one of that kind, too. She also had this ugly habit of seeing people and feeling the urge to save them. It’s like she gets an adrenaline rush and she just goes with it. It’s like she jumps in without even thinking about it twice. She jumps and hopes she’ll figure out the landing part on the run.
This one is special too. She doesn’t like normal; normal was never her kind of thing. Normal was boring and normal didn’t need anything. Normal was fine and she hated that word. She tends to fix people and pour her love in their cracks. Fixing people was something like her drug; she felt it in her bloodstream and it was something she devoted herself completely to.
She saw you were at the end and she stretched out her hand towards you. She hoped you’d take it.
Even though she didn’t know what she was getting herself into, she just wanted to be there for you. No hidden intentions, no mind games, she just wanted to be there for you, to be your light at the end of the tunnel. She wanted to be someone you can count on. Someone to whom you’ll come to when things go wrong. Someone who’ll take your hand and tell you everything is going to be okay.
You were not her project. Don’t take her wrong. You were a human being she saw in the darkness and she rushed to save you. It was something her instinct told her to do and she always listened to her inner voice.
But the truth is you were too much in the darkness. Even you managed to get lost in it, let alone her. The irony is that your heart was on fire, but you were surrounded with darkness.
You didn’t know about kindness. You never asked another human being how he was feeling. You had your own twisted version of what’s right and what’s wrong. You never explained yourself or the things you did, but you always demanded that others do so.
From everything you showed her, it seemed like you needed to be loved, but you didn’t know what to do with the love you got. It’s true you didn’t get it much to be honest, but even the little love people gave you, you didn’t know what do with it. Perhaps that’s why she gave you all the love she had in herself. Perhaps that’s why for the first time, she fell for someone she wanted to save. Perhaps that’s where she made a mistake.
Somewhere between being there for you in your darkest days and giving you all the love you were missing, between righting all the wrongs life did to you, she fell in love with you. She fell for you like she never fell for anyone before. And she didn’t plan that you know—it just happened.
But instead of taking that love as something that will save you, instead of finally moving from that one spot, you buried yourself even more. And since you weren’t moving, she decided to walk towards you. But what she didn’t know was that she was walking towards your darkness little by little.
You know what’s funny? She was the only one who fell in love with the real you.
She saw your darkness and she decided to stay. She saw your pain and she decided to let you share it with her. She saw your bruises and she decided to kiss them. She saw you for who you are and she didn’t leave. She chose to stay and try to save you.
She made a promise to herself. She said she wasn’t leaving and she didn’t. She stuck by your side, regardless of what you made her go through.
No matter how many times you broke her heart, no matter how many times you hurt her, no matter how many times you tried to push her away, she fought for you like the biggest warrior on the battlefield. She did it because she always knew she isn’t fighting with your heart but with your past.
This battle she signed up for is lasting a bit too long, don’t you think? Could it be because you are making it harder for her? Could it be because you’re more willing to see her in the darkness then you are to see yourself in the light?
Okay, life was a bit harder for you than for others. Some things aligned pretty badly for you. You’ve been through a lot. But your story doesn’t have to end like this. And definitely, it’s easier to be bad than good. But now you have a reason to walk away from everything dark you had in your life. You have someone who’s going to wait for you on the other side, someone who’ll help you get there. It’s enough just for you to want it.
Let her save you. Stop fighting. She’s strong enough for both of you. So stop pulling her into your darkness. Give yourself a chance. Give her a chance. Love can save the world—how can you think it can’t save you?