Why do people cheat? What does cheating say about a person? What does it do to a person or a relationship?
Unfortunately, cheating is very common in relationships nowadays and these are just some questions I think we all would want to know the answer to.
Is it really so difficult to believe and respect the institution of monogamy? Is it really that hard to be faithful to the person you’re dating and you say you honestly love?
Indeed, betrayal is the worst thing you can do to someone you’re in a relationship with. It hurts, it leaves marks for so long and the other person will never be able to fully recover from it.
If you’re not happy in your relationship or you stopped loving your partner, the best and the most moral thing you can do is sit down with your significant other and have an honest talk about your feelings.
We are all human beings and we all have feelings, that’s why no one deserves to be cheated on, no matter what.
If you like someone else and want to start a new relationship with that person, breaking up with your partner first is the only fair thing to do.
When it comes to cheating, things haven’t changed much over the last twenty years. Both men and women cheat but men do it more often.
According to surveys from the Institute for Family Studies, 20% of men and 13% of women say that they have been unfaithful to their partner at least once.
Once you betray someone’s trust, it’s really difficult to regain it or to rebuild the trust in your relationship. Think about the consequences before you do anything you know you might regret later.
What does cheating say about a person and their character?
Remember, if you have been cheated on, it’s not your fault. It’s never your fault, the person who has betrayed you is the only one who needs to be blamed.
There are some common reasons why people cheat. If you want to discover some of them or find out what does cheating say about a person and their character, continue reading.
They’re not satisfied with the relationship
If you’re in a healthy and happy relationship, you’ll probably never even think about cheating. You have everything you need with that one person and it’s more than enough for you.
However, if you aren’t happy in your relationship or you don’t feel the same about your partner anymore, it might bring you to the point where you’ll be questioning your relationship and thinking about someone else.
The thing you should know if you’re in a similar situation is that having an emotional affair or a physical affair with someone else won’t make you happier.
Cheating with and seeking consolation from another person will never make you feel better; on the contrary, you’ll feel even worse because you’ll know you betrayed the person who you truly loved once.
They don’t sincerely love their partner
If you’re even thinking about going out with someone else and cheating on your significant other, that’s a sign that your feelings for your partner aren’t sincere.
You can’t say that you honestly love someone and then hurt them in such an awful way. You can’t do such a bad thing to your loved one, it’s just not possible.
The fact is that a person who cheats on their partner never really loved them in the first place because if they did, they would never hurt them intentionally because of the love they once felt for them.
Maybe you don’t know the meaning of true love then. When you honestly love someone, you have eyes only for that person and your heart is reserved for them only; the entrance for other people is strictly forbidden.
They don’t respect themselves, nor their romantic partner
People who cheat are struggling with self-respect issues. That’s why cheaters seek comfort from others, people who’ll praise them and help them with those self-respect issues.
When it comes to their partner, they also don’t have respect for them. How could you respect someone and still do such a bad thing behind their back? It’s simply not possible.
Constant lying, so much secrecy and knowing that you’ve lost some of your values will lead to losing your self-respect.
They have self-esteem issues
This is one of the most common reasons why men cheat, even though most of them would never admit it. They hook up with another woman thinking about how it’ll boost their ego.
We all have some insecurities and imperfections but you don’t need to be reassured by others that you’re worthy. Don’t think that finding validation from other people will help you because it definitely won’t.
This can also be related to narcissism. Narcissists crave attention and validation from other people, which also means that they have fragile and low self-esteem and that’s why they are prone to cheating.
If you’re in a healthy relationship, your partner will be your biggest support in improving your self-esteem. They’ll embrace all your flaws and imperfections, showing you that you should do the same.
Cheaters are cowards
In fact, all cheaters are so weak. They don’t have the strength to talk to their partner about their feelings and how things really are for them, so they choose to cheat on them as if it’s the easier way.
The sheer act of cheating is cowardly. If you can’t break up with your partner before you decide to be with someone else, it’s not because you love your partner, it’s only because you don’t have the guts to do that.
You cheat on them in secret, hoping they’ll never find out. However, don’t think that you’ll get away with it because sooner or later, the truth will come out.
They’ve mastered the art of lying
People who cheat become a pro at lying by the time. They don’t only lie to their romantic partner, they also lie to their family, best friends and co-workers. They lie to the people who mean the most to them.
They hide their emotional affairs with other people and they lie all the time to cover up the tracks of their infidelity. They become so good at it that it is almost impossible to know when they’re lying.
However, if you doubt your partner’s fidelity and you think they’re lying to you, you should pay attention to their body language or some other subtle signs; for example, if their phone habits have changed.
Cheaters are selfish
If someone cheats on a person who loves and cares for them, of course, they’re selfish and a little bit narcissistic.
The most important thing for them is that they feel good and do things that make them happy, so they don’t even think about someone else’s feelings.
Even if your feelings for your partner have changed, you should still think about them and you shouldn’t do something that you know would deeply hurt them.
Before you do something bad like this to your partner, think about how you would feel if your loved one did the same to you. Also, think about karma because it will all come back to you one day.
They aren’t ready for a committed relationship
Most men cheat because they aren’t ready to commit, even after being in a long-term relationship and even if they love their partner. They’re looking for a way out by cheating.
It’s a mistake. Not only will you hurt the person you love but you’re going to lose them forever. If you don’t feel ready to commit, the best solution would be just to talk to your significant other about it honestly.
If they love you, they’ll try to understand you and they’ll be ready to wait. I’m sure that together, you’ll find a way to find a compromise that would be good for both of you.
A monogamous relationship is just not their thing
Some people are genuinely passionate about relationships and that’s why they can’t settle with only one person and in only one relationship.
The idea of monogamy is just boring to them and having multiple partners or often changing their partner often just represents an ideal relationship to them.
They always have some excuses
Not only are they good at lying but a cheater always also has some excuses ready to justify their actions.
They’ll try to manipulate you and make you believe how it’s all a misunderstanding or how you’re just imagining it all.
They know how you feel about them and they’ll try to use your honest feelings and make you believe in their excuses.
They’re a pro at diverting and avoiding topics
If you have found some evidence that your partner has been unfaithful to you and when you try to confront them about it, they try to divert the topic or avoid talking about it, it’s a major red flag that they’re absolutely hiding something that they don’t want you to know.
By that time, they have become a real pro at avoiding such conversations.
Maybe they are doing this because they don’t want to hurt your feelings or because they just don’t have the guts to be honest and admit their mistake.
If they did it once, they’ll do it again
I really want to believe that the old adage ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ isn’t true but unfortunately, it’s been proven that in most cases, it is.
People who cheat on their partner once and get away with it will probably do it again, thinking how their other half won’t find out about it, like they didn’t the first time.
If they show this kind of disrespect even once toward the person they’re in a romantic relationship with, they’ll do it again for sure because it’s just in their nature.
Of course, we can all make a mistake once but if someone makes the same mistake more than once, then it’s not a mistake, it’s a choice. Then, it’s simply unforgivable, no matter how much you love and care for them.
What cheating does to a person
No one would like to be cheated on because we all think we know how awful that experience is.
We think we know how much it hurts when your loved one hurts and betrays you in such a way. The thing is, it is actually much worse than we think and only people who have been cheated on can understand it.
Being cheated on makes you doubt yourself
No matter how high your self-esteem is, betrayal hurts us all the same. It just changes us completely.
You start doubting your self-worth. You start thinking about how it was your fault because you weren’t good enough for that person.
You become a person with many insecurities and that fear of not being good enough will stick with you for a long time, until someone else comes into your life and makes you understand that you’re so much better than you think.
The person is left with trust issues
Being betrayed by someone who meant so much to you is the worst. It leaves you with such trust issues that are so difficult to overcome and you don’t know whether you can trust someone in your life again.
As you’re going through affair recovery, you may start thinking about how no one is actually trustworthy and how it’ll be so difficult to build trust with someone ever again.
However, when you meet the right person, you’ll know that not all people are the same and that there are some people who truly deserve your trust and your love.
The person is left with mental health issues
People who get cheated on might be left with some mental health issues like anxiety or depression. This is actually normal because being hurt by someone you love is a pretty traumatic experience.
You may start thinking about how you’ll never heal from it but don’t worry. You aren’t alone. There are so many people who struggle with the same issues after their partner’s infidelity.
And you must know that you’ll heal and move on, just give yourself some time.
The person may start thinking that they’re just unlovable
This is the worst thing you can do if you have been cheated on by your loved one.
Just because one person betrayed you, it doesn’t make you unlovable and it doesn’t mean that someone else won’t love and cherish you as you deserve.
After all, you must always keep in mind that it wasn’t your fault. You did nothing wrong; the person who hurt you didn’t respect or love you and that’s the only truth.
It definitely affects their future relationships
This unpleasant experience will affect your future relationships for sure. You’ll doubt your next partner’s feelings and intentions.
In the beginning, you won’t be relaxed because you won’t know whether your new partner is trustworthy so you might check his social media accounts or secretly check his text messages.
Once you build trust together in your relationship, you’ll finally be able to leave your ex’s betrayal in the past and enjoy your new relationship.
In conclusion
So, what does cheating say about a person? All people who cheat are actually cowards because they don’t have the guts to confront their loved one.
Does cheating define a person? Of course it does. All cheaters have very similar personality traits and the same skills in lying to and deceiving their partner.
Fortunately, there are so many warning signs that may help you to see whether your partner is being unfaithful to you or not.
According to the New York City-based relationship expert Susan Winter, one of the most obvious signs of a cheating partner can be seen through some changes in their social media accounts.
The thing that each person who’s been cheated on asks is how to forgive their cheating partner and whether their relationship will be the same after their partner’s infidelity.
Diana Dorell, dating coach and relationship expert, has explained it best: “Whenever trust has been broken, there is a change in the dynamic of a relationship — the foundation is now shaky and it takes time to repair, but it is possible.”
Of course, we all make mistakes as human beings and we deserve forgiveness and second chances but you should never allow anyone to make a fool out of you many times.
If a person cheats on you several times, it’s proof that they’ll never change and you must leave them forever.
Still, if you really love someone and you think they made just a stupid mistake, you should find the strength to forgive them and forget about it so that you can continue with your relationship.
But be aware that you’ll need to try hard to make your relationship good and healthy again.
Having an emotional affair or a physical affair with someone else will bring you a few moments of pleasure but you’ll definitely regret it once you understand that it wasn’t worth losing someone you love forever.