Victim playing is a kind of emotional manipulation men use to keep you around, to break you or simply because they truly believe that they are victims.
It’s the kind of manipulation we quite often brush off because they really have convincing stories and how could a victim be a manipulator?
But it’s manipulation, after all, so watch out for these signs and excuses that he might be using on you.
Every ex he had was a bitch
Every single one of them broke him, cheated on him or lied to him. It was never his fault, he was just a naive, young boy who fell madly in love.
He’s using this to guilt-trip you into staying with him, making you believe that it’s your job to fix him.
But how can someone have such bad luck to date only bitches? His past relationships all have one thing in common, and it’s not his bad luck. It’s him.
You are always attacking him
No matter what you say, what you do or how you approach him, he always feels like he’s being attacked.
You’re doing great at work—you’re doing it only so you can leave him, you’re doing it only to show him how much better you are and he is only a stupid boy.
You try to tell him something that’s been bothering you—you’re only doing it to show him you’re superior; he never meant to hurt you, how could he? After all, he’s the one broken here.
He dumps all of his problems on you
He uses you as his trash bin. All of the universe has turned against him, he’s doomed.
If he gets a parking ticket, he’ll say, “A cop gave me a ticket.” It’s impossible for him to take responsibility for his actions. It’s NEVER his fault.
Like I said, the universe is out to get him. Out of 7 billion people, he must be so special to be a targeted one.
So, naturally, he needs someone to vent to, to nod their head while he tells his sad, little, life story.
In this case, you’re the one he uses for that, without even checking on you, without even thinking how this might affect your mood or state of mind.
Listening to constant negativity is truly bad for anyone’s health.
He turns tiny incidents into arguments
It’s easier to play the victim if you’re the one being yelled at. His way to get away with stupid, little things is to provoke you so much until you snap, and he gets to play the victim once more (whereas he could simply apologize, but that would mean he has to take responsibility for something he has done).
After some time, you start wondering if are you the one with anger management issues and if you are always wrong.
Maybe he’s really trying, and you’re simply being a bitch? Honey, take a good look at your relationship. He could just be manipulating you to get away with his screw-ups.
He doesn’t seem to understand why no one comes to his defense
Poor little thing, why is no one on his side? Why are your friends always on your side, always backing you up, and his are not?
Maybe because they know him a little bit better than you had the chance to, maybe his friends know it’s better to stay out of his ‘problems’.
Maybe your friends love and respect you as you are, instead of turning their backs on you.
He will try to use this so you will feel guilty for not being on his side more, feel guilty because he has no one and you have so many friends.
You’ll start devoting all of your time to him until you’re completely cut out of your own private life.
He NEVER feels the need to apologize
Because nothing is ever his fault (duh). Until he learns to take responsibility for the things he has done, you’ll never be able to move forward in the relationship.
I don’t know about you, but if I don’t get a sincere apology for something that truly upset me, I’m not able to move on after that incident.
And if you’re constantly going round in circles, with him refusing to apologize and brainwashing you into believing it’s you and not him, how long will it take until you completely lose yourself in his manipulation?
How long will it take him to break you completely, until you become just another one of his bitch exes?