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7 Shocking Reasons Why We Chase Those We Can’t Have

7 Shocking Reasons Why We Chase Those We Can’t Have

Remember the times when you were a kid and you wanted something so badly but your parents said you couldn’t have it?

And then you wanted it even more. You were determined to do anything just to get that one thing you craved so much.

Well, the adult world works on the same principle.

We fall in love with those who are bad for us, those who send us mixed signals or those who are not interested in us and we simply can’t stop chasing them no matter what.

The more they reject us, the more we desire them.

Why is that so? Why do we fall in love with those we cannot have?

There are a few reasons explaining this phenomenon and it all stems from our subconscious, personality type and our previous experiences.

As a matter of fact, these reasons are quite shocking because they reveal the core of our true personality and some things that we seem to lack in our life but didn’t know about!

1. We’re excited about the thrill of the chase

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Sometimes we crave those we cannot have just because we’re excited about the thrill of the chase.

We love the anticipation and mystery and we love being the one who is fighting to win someone over.

We enjoy looking for ways to seduce them and to convince them that we are the right person for them.

And sometimes, when we succeed in convincing them and they finally fall for us, we disappear from their life, looking for another chase.

2. It will satisfy our ego

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Our ego is a tricky thing because it can deceive us to do things we never thought of doing.

Sometimes, our ego can fool us to crave those we cannot have just because we think that being with them will make us feel better and it will satisfy our ego.

We think the chasing game and our efforts to win them are what will make us feel superior once we get them.

Our ego fools us to believe that we need to accomplish something (win that specific person) in order to feel good about ourself.

3. We believe that being accepted by them will add value to us

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We target specific people with qualities and characteristics that we admire and we think that being accepted by them will add value to us.

We think that being with them will influence others to see us in a different, better light.

Basically, we’re looking for a shortcut of self-acceptance which is usually built over years.

4. We struggle with low self-esteem

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We crave those we cannot have because we struggle with our low self-esteem and winning someone over that we cannot have is like climbing a mountain and feeling like a true winner once we finally reach the top of it.

The feeling of success and being worthy of something or someone is food for our self-esteem and that is why we fool ourself to believe that craving and fighting for those we cannot have is the only thing that will help us increase the level of our confidence.

See also: How To Build Your Core Confidence And Be More Successful In Life And Dating

5. We are attracted to the unknown

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We are naturally attracted to the unknown and mysterious things that need to be deciphered or made an effort with in order to be understood.

We are attracted to things that we don’t know much about and we are thirsty for every juicy detail about them.

Our desire to be with someone we can’t have becomes stronger than our reason.

6. We want to prove to ourself and others that we’re worthy of being with them

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Sometimes we just want to prove to ourself and others that we can do it.

We want to prove that we can succeed in winning those we cannot have and that we are totally worthy of being with them.

We believe that we deserve them and that is why we don’t stop that easily, no matter what.

7. We want to fulfill a fantasy

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Those we cannot have are a part of our fantasy.

We dream about having a perfect life with them and we’ve promised ourself that we’ll do anything in order to achieve it. 

We imagine how it would feel to kiss them, make love to them and do everything with them.

They become our safe haven that is far from our painful or boring reality.

7 Shocking Reasons Why We Chase Those We Can’t Have