After having dated so many lost causes, I truly started believing that there was something actually wrong with me.
Was it the way I looked, how I talked or my weird sense of humor?
How can one person have so much bad luck when it comes to men?
The only thing in common with all those failures was none other than me! That was the conclusion I made after my last shit-storm of a relationship.
And now I can honestly say I am done pinning the blame on myself.
I put up with much less than I should have because I didn’t believe that one man could fulfill all of my (perfectly reasonable) needs.
But you know what? Just any man can’t. But a real man can!
And as rare of a species as they seem these days, I’m sure that somewhere there’s a man who won’t find my needs and wants too much to ask for.
A man who will happily provide me with everything I need (emotionally) and not complain that I’m being overbearing.
A man who won’t run away when it gets hard and who will be there in person—not just by text. So far—no such luck.
And this is why I choose to be single. And I’m totally okay with that.
I don’t need a man who’ll only make me half happy. I don’t need a man who needs ME to take care of him.
In a relationship, it goes both ways and I’m done taking on the mother role to immature boys who can’t take care of themselves, let alone a woman.
Until I find a man who can provide me with these 5 things that every woman should have from her partner, I choose to remain happily single.
1. I want a man who believes in open communication
This honestly doesn’t seem too much to ask. It’s like when did conversation go out of style?
Sigh… I really need a man who will communicate with me about the good stuff AND the bad. It’s easy to have a conversation when it’s all peachy.
I need a man who will call me on my shit instead of sulking in silence and holding it against me at a later time.
That’s childish AF! Be a man and tell me what’s wrong.
Tell me when you have a problem with something I did and show me you care by being willing to work on us!
2. I want a man who takes responsibility for his actions
I don’t want to play the ‘blame game’. I don’t want to have to wonder if I’ll be hearing a bunch of ridiculous excuses when you do something wrong.
It’s not the end of the world, so talk to me and own up to your shit!
I’ll love you twice as much if you can be a man and admit when you’re at fault.
I’ll appreciate it more than you know if you can say you’re sorry to my face and mean it!
Being honest when it’s hard is what relationships are all about. Take responsibility for your actions and we won’t have a problem!
3. I want a man who is trustworthy and loyal
Be my safe harbor. Be my rock when I have no one to turn to. Don’t take my trust for granted.
Don’t make me regret opening up to you. That’s not easy for me, you know?
If you tell me you’re going to do something, do it. If you promise me you’ll pick me up for our date night, do it.
Don’t make me think I can’t trust you. The one person I should be able to trust with my life is you! And I do. So don’t make me question your loyalty.
If I realize that I can trust you with anything, our relationship is going to blossom. I promise I’ll be the same with you.
Just return the favor and we can be that couple that everyone aspires to be like!
4. I want a man with empathy and compassion
I really need you to understand when I’m going through something and know how to be there for me.
I need a man who can hold my hand even though I may seem like I don’t want it (hint: I always do!).
If something painful happens to me, I need you to be there every step of the way. Not because you feel you have to but because you want to.
I need you to love me enough to be sad when I’m sad. I don’t mean this to come out the wrong way but I think you know what I mean.
When you love someone, their happiness is your happiness and their sadness is your sadness. And this is what I long for more than anything.
To feel genuinely heartbroken when I am suffering. My heart breaks when somebody I love is struggling.
Is that so much to ask for from a man?
5. I want a man who is emotionally mature and supportive
Emotional maturity is a trait I have never encountered in a man. So I can only dream to find one like this. But I take this as a good sign.
All the boys I dated before were beyond immature and now I know what to look for!
And when I find it, I’ll know that I’ve found myself a real man. A man who doesn’t get irrationally mad if I want to go out with my friends.
A man who won’t throw a fit if he sees me talking to a guy friend.
A man who supports me and trusts me. A man who knows my heart beats for him and no one else.
Somebody who is mature enough to never let dumb jealousy ruin what we have. And this man is out there somewhere.
I know this. And I’ll remain single until I meet somebody exactly like that.