Having your heart broken is always painful, there is no doubt about that. But if you are smart enough, you can turn every heartbreak into a valuable lesson.
And that was exactly what I did. Instead of lamenting my past relationships, I’ve allowed each one of them to teach me something about romance, love, and life and about myself. Here are 7 things I’ve learned from my failed relationships.
1. To leave the past in the past
The first lesson I learned from my heartbreaks is that you should leave the past in the past, where it belongs. Some people and some things are simply not meant to last and you have to accept this, as much as it hurts.
Instead of spending your days thinking about how things might have turned out and how it could have been, you need to focus on making the best out of today. You need to focus on improving your present and your future, without allowing things or the people from the past to hold you back.
2. That I’m the only one who can make myself happy
Sadly, some girls are looking for a relationship which will complete them, thinking that the right guy will miraculously solve all of their problems and make their life better. He won’t.
You are the only one who can make yourself truly happy and there is no guy on this planet who can do it for you. And it is the same with making yourself unhappy and miserable.
If you choose to focus on everything negative and everything that caused you pain in the past, you’ll never achieve complete happiness.
3. To put myself first
You may call me selfish but one of the things that each one of my previous relationships has taught me is to put myself first. There is no man alive who should be more important to me than myself.
The last thing I’m telling is that you should be self-centered or that you should completely disregard the needs and the desires of the person next to you. Just make sure not to disregard yourself in the process.
4. That I’m enough
When you enter a new relationship, you want to do everything possible for this person to like you more. That doesn’t mean that you should change yourself for their sake or to be more lovable to them.
What my failed relationships taught me is that I should never change for anyone. I am more than enough the way I am and anyone who can’t accept the true me doesn’t deserve a place in my life.
Remember, losing yourself over attracting a guy is the worst thing you can do! Because if he really loves you, he will accept all of your flaws and qualities. And he will never make you feel like you are not enough.
5. That I can make it on my own
For a long time, I thought that I needed a man to complete me. I thought that it was better to be with anyone than to be alone.
But after numerous failed relationships, I learned that none of this is true. I learned that I can make it on my own just fine. That my single life is a blessing I should use the best way possible.
I learned that I am an independent woman who can walk through life alone without needing any man to guide me. I learned that it’s way better to be single than with the wrong man. And that I should remain single until the right guy comes along.
6. That I am stronger than all the pain
When you get your heart broken and when the relationship you’ve invested so much in breaks apart, you are positive that you’ll break into pieces as well. But as time goes by, you see that you won’t.
With time, you see how strong you actually are and you realize everything you are capable of. And this is exactly what each one of my failed relationships has taught me. They made me see my strength and my bravery. They made me understand that there doesn’t exist a man who can break me.
They taught me that I’m stronger than all the pain and stronger than everything that’s been holding me down. Stronger than my past, stronger than all the men trying to put me down.
Sometimes, they even taught me that I can be stronger than my own emotions and stronger than myself.
7. That nobody will love you until you love yourself
The last but definitely not least important thing my failed relationships taught me is the importance of self-love. They made me realize that unloving the wrong person is an act of self-love.
I grew to understand that sticking around someone who doesn’t deserve you means you don’t love yourself enough. It means that you subconsciously think you deserve this half-assed love you’ve been getting.
My failed relationships made me realize that nobody can appreciate or respect me until I do it myself. That nobody can love me the way I want to be loved until I learn how to love myself.