By now, we all know that sex is a really important aspect of our relationship. It lets us feel a deeper connection with our partners and it’s not just about the physical pleasure. But what happens when we don’t get enough sex? Well, what happens is that you get tensed up and you start fights with your partner that are everything but pleasant. You don’t want to fight anymore, but it just seems that you are drifting apart in the relationship without actually knowing why.
So, a sex-starved relationship can be caused by a lot of things, but mostly it’s caused by miscommunication. One of the two has a problem with something in the relationship and instead of talking about it, they turn to a passive-aggressive method and simply avoid having sex. That’s why the first tip to avoiding a sex-starved relationship is:
As with everything in life, communication can solve so many problems. If you just sit down with your partner once a day to talk about everything they’ve been through and actively listen, then there’s a high chance they will tell you that something is wrong. Sit down and try to go through everything in your relationship and if you see some place for improvement, don’t let it be just that. Communication can also show you what your partner wants and needs in the sexual act. If you didn’t talk about it before, then now is the right time.
2. Your partner’s pleasure
Sex is such an amazing thing that we can’t get enough of the pleasure, so we tend to become very selfish. But we won’t lack any of the fun if we focus on our partner. Your partner might have seen that you’re not giving enough effort while having sex and they simply stopped having a desire to sleep with you anymore. This is such a heartbreaking thing because you probably didn’t do it intentionally. So, put some effort into making your partner horny and spoiling them during sex.
3. Do something new
When you’ve been in the relationship for a while now, you tend to get bored. Nothing makes it fun anymore and that’s what makes us frustrated to the point where we don’t feel the urge for sex anymore. So, spice it up. Bring up some new things you’d like to try in bed or simply do something exciting outside the bedroom with your partner. Do something that will make you both feel connected with each other and that’s when the sparks will fly again.
4. Be patient
The one who has the higher sex drive in the relationship tends to become very vulnerable and if their needs aren’t met, they can become very angry. But anger doesn’t solve anything. What if your partner is going through a tough time in their life and you’re just making it harder for them to get through it? Instead, just sit down and relax. Nothing can come from you rushing. Be patient and be there for your partner. Show them that you love and appreciate them.
5. Choose your words wisely
Words are like bullets, right? If you’ve only once insulted your partner while you were having sex, there’s quite a chance that they will avoid having it until they can feel secure again. So, instead of yelling that it hurts or that they should stop, how about ”Mmmm, let’s try it like this, too.” Or something between those lines that can help your partner find a secure spot and at the same time, not offending them by saying that they don’t know what they’re doing.
6. Accept your partner fully
When was the most vulnerable moment you saw your partner? Of course, during sex. Your partner will back down and avoid having sex if they see how they are being judged in such a vulnerable state. When they are naked in front of you, be generous with compliments, don’t make them feel insecure and unloved. It can only break your relationship apart. Rather, accept their flaws because no one’s perfect.
7. It’s not shameful to talk about it
We started and we will end with communication. What people forget is that talking about sex and sexual rejection isn’t shameful. It’s a natural way of solving problems and we need to put ourselves in that mindset of ”It’s OK”. When we fail to communicate our feelings because we think that they’ll make us look stupid, we actually give out more space to becoming frustrated and mean towards our partner, dragging the sex-starved relationship even further into negativity.