We’re all dreaming about having that crazy kind of love that makes us smile without any reason and giggle like schoolgirls.
We all want that kind of love we read about in the books—the love that lasts a lifetime and that’s still there when we’re old and wrinkled.
But that kind of love is impossible to have with certain types of men and no matter how hard we try, we still feel like we attract only them.
To avoid another heartbreak and disappointment in love, here are types of unavailable men you should avoid like the plague.
Let’s be honest: at some point in our lives we fell for a player. He’s the type of man who is incapable of settling for just one woman and he often leaves emotional wreckage wherever he passes.
But we tend to fix people and once we fall for this type of man, we hope that our love will be strong enough to make him change. That maybe we’re different and he will want to settle with us.
But there’s no way you can fix a player—the need for change has to come from him. There’s no woman strong enough to change him; it has to be him.
2. Long-distance relationship
There are men out there who prefer having long-distance relationships because they’re simply easier. He gets the best of both worlds.
He has a long-distance girlfriend that helps him with emotions and struggles and over there he can be a fulltime player. I’m not saying every long-distance relationship is this way—my best friend is proof that they do work out.
But if you feel like you’re the only one that makes the effort into fighting that distance, he’s just as unavailable as any other player.
3. Selfish one
He is all he cares about. His behavior is borderline narcissistic, which means that everything has to revolve around him. Your needs will always come second because he is a priority.
Keep in mind that it takes two for love, and if you find yourself being the only one loving and giving, leave. You deserve better than that.
4. The married man
He doesn’t have to be married to fit this group. It’s any man that’s already committed to someone else. He could be saying that he’s not happy, that they’re getting a divorce and you will trust him because you have no reason not to.
But this type of man is a cheater. There’s no guarantee that he won’t do the same to you or that he won’t walk away once he gets bored.
5. Commitment Phobic
This is a type of man that will keep any kind of relationship on the status of an almost-relationship. If he does go any further and you actually have a real relationship, years could pass by before he puts a ring on it.
He’s scared of commitment and he will try to avoid talking about the matter at all costs. You’ll find yourself asking questions that remain unanswered and trying to explain to yourself why you’re still stuck in the same places after all those months/years.
This is a type of man that constantly makes excuses or never talks about his feelings, shutting you out of his life. These men use criticism, manipulation or guilt-tripping to create a distance between the two of you.
He does these things because he’s either afraid of letting someone in due to past traumas in his life (that could’ve been caused by his parents or past girlfriends) or he’s shutting you out because he is emotionally immature and he doesn’t know how to cope with the commitment and love.
Emotional unavailability comes in two forms: chronic and temporary. The chronic form is caused by mental illness, a troubled childhood or addiction, whereas the temporary one comes from making something else a bigger priority than you.
This ‘something else’ could be a career, health, education or freedom. Sometimes it’s impossible to tell if it’s temporary or chronic unavailability, but either way, this type of man will lead you to feel rejected or broken. And trust me, he’s not worth your tears or pain.
7. Addicted one
He can be an alcoholic, workaholic, drugs or pornography addict. These activities will always come first to him. You can easily recognize this because your life will soon revolve around these activities.
And even your sex life will suffer, especially if he’s a drug or pornography addict. He will often try to make it up to you, being remorseful, buying you gifts and making promises that it will never happen again.
But, addiction is addiction after all. If there’s no professional help and serious commitment into getting rid of this addiction, there’s no point in hoping he will change. This is a type of man you should run from because no matter what, you will always come second after his addiction.