When we fall in love, we never imagine things going south. Colors are brighter, birds are singing more loudly and everything seems so beautiful—just because we have that special someone by our side. We are enjoying that honeymoon phase to the fullest and everything seems so perfect. But what happens when time passes by and life gets in the way of our love? We start having meaningless fights, but love is still there. We’re trying to work it through.
But what if doubt in his loyalty appears? What if we feel him drifting away and we are scared to ask anything, afraid of his answer and afraid of the truth? Could he be cheating? Is he thinking about it already? Is there a way to find out? Yes. There is. There are certain signs that can tell you that he is thinking about cheating, that his love faded away or his needs got in the way of him committing to you. Whatever the reason behind it was, it’s up to you to decide whether it’s worth staying or it’s time to leave.
1. He is still stuck in the past
Whether it means that he is still super close to his ex or there is some other reason, he is visiting her family or constantly talking about his past relationship. He is not done with them yet. He is reliving his old days because he misses them. He wants to keep his ex close because he still cares about her. Maybe he believes that he is over it, but his heart is telling a completely different story. His feelings are messed up, which means he could cheat on you because ‘his heart told him so’.
2. He starts criticizing you
When men and women are preparing themselves to cheat, they are looking for any kind of self-justification. He constantly criticizes anything you do, find flaws where there aren’t any and generally makes you feel bad about it. No matter how hard you try or how good you’re looking, there will always be something missing. That way, he has a reason for cheating, even if he created it himself. It’s only purpose is to make him feel better about him being asshole.
3. He is super private
Trust is important in a relationship. If he is hiding from you who is texting him and his phone is always with him, that could be a sign that he is hiding something more than embarrassing photos from you. Maybe he is texting with a certain friend he has stronger feelings for or it could be his ex. If he doesn’t feel like sharing it with you, that means there is no trust in the relationship.
4. He is working late without telling you
You are expecting him to come to you after work, but all of a sudden, he has to work late and he won’t make it. That can happen once or twice, but if you notice a pattern, something is up. He could be looking for an excuse to spend time with someone else or texting them in peace. Or his feelings are confusing him, so he’s taking a break without letting you know. Regardless of the reason, this is never a good sign for a relationship in trouble.
5. Sex life dynamics change
Whether it happens that you’re having more sex than usual or that you don’t have it at all, this could also be a sign. Unless there is a different kind of issue bothering him such as losing his job or being under a lot of pressure; he is already thinking about doing it with someone else and it affects your sex life.
6. He suddenly needs some alone time
You were doing great. Love was blooming but suddenly, you are smothering him and he needs some alone time. Men tend to pull away once they’re afraid that things are moving too fast. But if he asks for alone time when you’re already suspecting him of cheating, I’m sorry—he already set his mind to do it. He is feeling trapped in the relationship and to him, cheating looks like a glimpse into freedom. So, I think it’s time you give him all of the freedom he needs.
7. He starts working on himself
If he suddenly starts going to the gym, buying new clothes and putting on that cologne you always said you love but he never used, I’m afraid in most cases, he is not doing it for you or for himself. He has found himself a new challenge, a new purpose to fulfill. And that’s not making you happy. It’s making himself happy.
8. He starts accusing you of cheating
Playing the guilt game is just him projecting his fears and failures onto you. He could be already cheating, so he’s paranoid about you cheating on him too. Or, he could be using this technique to get away with it. If you’re trying to prove to him that you’re not the one cheating, you will have no time to look for signs if he is the cheater in your relationship. After all, how can he cheat if he’s being a victim here?