Three-words-eight-letters—what a challenge! For some reason, it’s one of the hardest phrases to say. This doesn’t mean you don’t love or don’t care about that guy you have been crazy about for the last few months, but something makes you think you are too bashful to say it out loud, or you are too afraid to be seen as a vulnerable person, or you convince yourself you are not in a position to say anything about your feelings.
Nobody can force you to use these three words, but hopefully, there are plenty of other ways to prove you do care about him anyway.
A word is a word, a sound is a sound, but what really matters are the different things you say and things you do that show your intention and attention to that man you sincerely adore.
1. Be Yourself
Don’t ask yourself if you give enough to him or not. You should never try comparing what you give versus what you get. This is obvious as it has to be a fair game. But if it sounds natural for you to be there for the one you are attached to, anytime he needs you, anytime he asks for you—why would you act in a different way?
2. Give him some of your time
Take time for him, especially if this is what you want. Take the time to meet him when you are not writing to him at the moment; when you are not thinking of him at the moment.
Is it dependence if you feel the need to see him just to brighten your days – if not his days – and if you can barely spend a day without seeing him in person?
Well, it’s called having a deep, deep, deep affection. It’s all good if you and him are on the same wavelength and have similar expectations from this relationship that is yours.
Listen to him when he needs to vent to you and don’t mind giving him tips when he asks for your help. Always make sure to explain things carefully and completely. Thus, there is no misunderstanding, and nobody ends up being hurt.
Go out of your way when you know he really needs you at a specific moment. It’s fair to do so because he would probably do the same for you.
4. Be thankful and let him know
Thank him—for what he does, for what he gives you, for what he says to you, and for who he is. Why? Throughout your life you meet a wide range of different people. Some treat you like kings and queens, others treat you like—nothing. So, when you recognize that that guy does respect you and the person you are, it sounds logical to thank him.
5. Speak with your eyes
Like you probably heard before, eyes are windows to the soul. Thus, look at him in the most genuine way you would ever do. Look at him in awe if you feel like it, but don’t be afraid if he sees it in your eyes. Why should you be afraid of loving or showing your love anyway? It’s a bit like making things complicated when they can actually be way more simple.
6. Your communication is your best tool
Your words regarding your feelings for him should be naturally nice, kind, supportive, positive, and overall, honest when it comes the time to interact with him. Yes, most of your deeds (like your messages) should be wonderfully sweet, but don’t remain silent if you need to let him know something. Don’t shut it up just for his sake.
Caring about him means also being real with him, so dare to say something when something needs to be said. However, do pay attention to the way you articulate your thoughts. You need to scrupulously pick the good words because you don’t want to hurt him on purpose.
Always try harder if you feel like the relationship is going through an area of turbulence. How? Speak up; open it up in a very smart and calm way; but try not to yell. Patience is a hard thing to keep, but when you use it, you actually save a lot. You save your energy, you save your mind, and you save your relationship.
7. Have deep conversations regarding the two of you
You care about that relationship, thus you care about its terms and its future. That’s when you need to play it fair by preventing him from the eventual reactions or situations that could happen—the harsh ones, the ones that could hurt your bonds, the ones nobody likes to talk about but are still a part of the real world.
This doesn’t mean that you don’t trust him, that you don’t believe in the relationship you share with him, it means you know what it is and what it takes to handle a sincere relationship.
Why would you do that? To make sure you’re not going to be a part of all these people who cut a relationship off because they couldn’t go through some various crises. A relationship lasts if both parts work together, because yes, it’s teamwork. Thus you need to talk about you two.
8. Ask him that One favor
You need to ask him to stop you if you go too far, if you ever hurt him, if you ever offend him—because chances are, you never meant to do so. Because you are a person, you make mistakes and it’s alright. It’s human nature. Everybody does it, and he may do it as well, but if you don’t want to mess anything with him, you should ask him that favor.
In the end, you may not be the only one to be scared to pronounce the Three-words-eight-letters sentence or to use the specific words to share your feelings with him. This especially during the first months. It is worthwhile to try to make any relationship last, and depending on the way you will invest yourself in it, you can make it work—you absolutely can make it work.
by Mathilde Clemence Personne