Why is being single considered to be the loneliest a person can be when being in the wrong relationship brings you so much more loneliness?
Being lonely is so not about being alone. Let me explain.
A few weeks ago I met my high school friend for coffee. I knew she was still single and I was kind of expecting her to be looking for love and honestly, a part of me thought she still didn’t have it all.
I thought about all the lonely nights she spends alone, wishing she had someone to share her life with.
Boy was I wrong. We reconnected and have been meeting occasionally and every single word I’ve heard come out of her mouth proved to me just how happy and fulfilled her life is.
She is a strong, fierce, fearless woman who looked life in the eye and decided to never settle for anything less than she deserves.
She is content with being who she is and doesn’t need a man to prove her worth, especially not the wrong man.
Deciding to never let anyone mess with her head and draw her into a vicious cycle of lying, ignoring and cheating was the best choice she’s ever made.
She showed me that being single has nothing to do with being lonely.
I have so many other friends who are in relationships that do them no good. Aren’t they more lonely than she is?
They have partners who pay very little attention to them and their needs. They are officially with someone but they are actually so alone.
Being with a person who doesn’t know how to make you happy or, even worse, doesn’t at all care about making you happy is the loneliest a person can ever be.
Yes, you are in a relationship and things are supposed to be perfect because being in a relationship means having a person to talk to, a person to take care of you, a person to love, respect and cherish you.
Sadly, many people are in the wrong relationship. Many people blame themselves for wanting so much more from their partner, thinking that they are emotionally greedy, while actually, their needs are never being met.
Every single one of us has a right to love and be loved in return. What happens when the person who’s supposed to love us does everything but?
It’s still hard for me to understand why but I can see clearly now that there are very few couples who are just right for each other.
I get it. You’re alone. You feel lonely. You think any human affection and any little bit of attention is better than none. Time passes by and the crumbs of love your partner gives you make you feel lonelier than ever.
You make yourself believe that you’re the one asking too much. It’s easier for you to think that you only need to wish for less and you’ll be happier with what you’ve got.
This concept works when it comes to material things—be happy with what you’ve got. When it comes to love, this can never be the case.
You deserve to be loved perfectly. You deserve to be loved passionately. You deserve to have a partner who will be scared to lose you.
You deserve to have a partner who will only have eyes for you. You deserve to have a partner whose love for you will be bigger than anything else he’s ever felt.
You should not be scared of being single. You should be afraid of being lonely. Being in a relationship doesn’t guarantee the loneliness goes away.
It’s okay to be single. It’s more than okay, it can be perfect for you.
Give yourself a chance to find the right person. Enjoy your own company in the meantime.
Being single beats being in the wrong relationship any day. It gives you the opportunity to get to know yourself better, to enjoy your time with your friends, to learn that your happiness comes from within.
No one will ever be able to fill every little hole in the story of your life, you’re the only one who can do that.
Stop losing time feeling abandoned while you’re officially taken and know you should be cherished. Don’t let your fear of loneliness in the single life stop you from giving yourself a chance to have a life you deserve.
Leave. You don’t belong there.
You’ve already reached the worst level of loneliness in your bad relationship, you can only go up from here.