All you did was play games with her. All you did was play push and pull with her.
It was this endless game that only you would probably never get tired of. The only problem is you sucked in a girl who didn’t want to become a part of your game.
She just wanted you, but it was impossible to get you without all the baggage you carried around with yourself.
She didn’t enter this ‘relationship’ or whatever you choose to call it now so you’d be able to project your insecurities onto her.
She didn’t hop on that ride so you could keep her just close enough to know you existed, but always at arm’s length so she never got too close.
Whenever you saw things were getting serious, you’d pull back.
You never wanted to put yourself all in. You never wanted to allow yourself to feel everything a relationship brings.
It seemed as if you were only there for the good parts and small talk, but once things would get heated, once you actually needed to involve true emotions, you’d bail.
You have always had this habit of disappearing at the most inappropriate moment.
The moment it appeared to her that you would actually come forward with how you truly felt, she’d end up getting zero response from you in days.
As if you had disappeared from the face of the earth.
Whenever she got tired of your games or waiting for you, you’d pull her back and start it all over again.
The moment you saw her doubting you or questioning your ‘relationship’, you’d pull her back into your little game that usually led her only to a dead end.
You’d start with your sweet talk once again and you’d start appearing in front of her whenever you had the chance.
You’d start doing everything just to make sure she got used to having you around one more time and when things eventually got too heated, you’d once again perform your good old trick called ‘pull away while you still can’.
You’d leave her wondering what she did wrong this time.
You knew she could never try with anyone else while you were still in the game.
She needed closure or something to tell her that your story had ended.
But you never gave her any of that. You got her hooked and that’s how you always wanted to keep her.
You knew she couldn’t move on until someone said out loud that everything you had was over.
But she could never be the one to be that person, not because she was too weak, but because she never knew where she stood with you.
You never had the chance to truly try and that’s what kept her for so long.
You built a cliffhanger, tension that told her greater things were ahead. But those times never came because you were never ready to truly commit to her.
You just needed her to think that way because you needed her too.
She was your safe haven. She was the only one who was always there for you no matter what.
You knew you could count on her, day and night. She was your person, the one everyone is hoping to find during their lifetime.
But you were too afraid to step up your game so you dragged her into the whirlwind of your toxicity.
You know, you might be the bigger player here, but you’re missing something.
You’re missing the fact that as good as you are at this push and pull game, nothing you do will stop her once she decides to cut all strings with you.
And although this might seem unrealistic to you, she’ll do it.
It won’t take her much longer to see you for who you truly are.
She’ll see that you’re only a player full of promises you never intend to keep.
That you only stay when things are not serious, but that you run away each time real feelings start coming to the surface.
It won’t take her much longer to see she deserves more than you.
She deserves more than a guy who doesn’t know what he wants, more than someone who’s afraid of real feelings.
It won’t take her much longer before she realizes that there will be someone who’ll give her everything she deserves and everything you’ve been unwilling to give her.
When she realizes there is someone else who’s going to make a true effort and who’s going to be there for her the same as she was for you.
Don’t bother coming back once she realizes you are just an immature boy who’s too scared to commit.
Because by the time you realize what you’ve pushed away, all your efforts to pull her back will be in vain.
She will have found someone who’ll appreciate her the way you never knew.